26 Oct 2013, 2:17 pm
28 Oct 2013, 11:15 pm
I like it! 
29 Oct 2013, 3:15 am
Very nice, good use of words and nice flow.
Experiment a little with your poetic structure to create something even more great, I have found moving away from rhyming and writing more cryptically creates an excellent poem.
Try as you write more poetry to move away from the stereotype of what a poem should be and move into a more deep poetic rhythm which will allow for your artistic words to become more deep and beautiful
Here is beauty in a traditional poem:
Sonnet 18
by William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
But I have found moving away from the constraints of rhyming can allow for a truly moving piece!
29 Oct 2013, 5:33 pm
Experiment a little with your poetic structure to create something even more great, I have found moving away from rhyming and writing more cryptically creates an excellent poem.
Try as you write more poetry to move away from the stereotype of what a poem should be and move into a more deep poetic rhythm which will allow for your artistic words to become more deep and beautiful
Here is beauty in a traditional poem:
Sonnet 18
by William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
But I have found moving away from the constraints of rhyming can allow for a truly moving piece!
I prefer structured poetry because it makes me more creative.
When it comes to Shakespeare, my favorite is Sonnet 148
O me! what eyes hath Love put in my head,
Which have no correspondence with true sight;
Or, if they have, where is my judgment fled,
That censures falsely what they see aright?
If that be fair whereon my false eyes dote,
What means the world to say it is not so?
If it be not, then love doth well denote
Love's eye is not so true as all men's: no,
How can it? O! how can Love's eye be true,
That is so vexed with watching and with tears?
No marvel then, though I mistake my view;
The sun itself sees not, till heaven clears.
O cunning Love! with tears thou keep'st me blind,
Lest eyes well-seeing thy foul faults should find.
01 Nov 2013, 1:49 pm
