Can you recognise what your baby wants from its cry?

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dizzywater
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02 Nov 2013, 5:48 am

This is idle curiosity really. I was a stay at home mum when my kids were small, so if anyone could tell different crying, I should have been able to. The books and health professionals said you learn the difference between a "change my nappy/diaper" cry, an "I'm hungry" cry or an "I'm tired" or "I want a cuddle" cry etc. Never once with any of my children did I identify any difference at all, when they cried and I just tried each possibility in turn.

I was a very attentive mum, they were my only obsession for many years, so its not that I wasn't interested.

Is failure to learn "baby cry language" unusual? Is it symptomatic of an aspie communication problem? Or is the whole thing a myth that no one admits is bull, like the emperor's new clothes?
Or indeed is it because all my children are boys and not so clear in their communication as girls? Maybe the theory is based on baby girls?

What is your experience?



jennica
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02 Nov 2013, 8:59 pm

I have a boy and girl and I never knew what their cries meant. I was very attentive and the sound of crying made my skin crawl, so I tried everything until they would stop. But, I used to just plead with them, "I don't know what you want!" I don't know if other people know what their babies cries mean, but I know I thought that I should know and I always felt like I was doing it wrong. Interestingly it was worse with my Aspie son than with my NT daughter, she did communicate her needs more obviously, though I didn't really distinguish the meaning of certain cries, she just made it obvious in other ways.



Solvejg
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03 Nov 2013, 2:52 am

I always knew what my babies cries meant. I knew from the moment they were born. I never once had a moment of, "what is wrong with them?" Babies are easy and it was never an issue for me.

I just used my common sense...are they dressed right, they are arching their backs......food. Droopy eye, wiggling around.....sleepy. Uncomphy face......poo. mewwing cries... they want to be in motion. :shrug:


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AspieOtaku
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03 Nov 2013, 4:58 am

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AspieOtaku
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03 Nov 2013, 4:59 am

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AspieOtaku
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03 Nov 2013, 5:03 am

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Solvejg
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03 Nov 2013, 5:12 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
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i have a hand held shower that i used for my kids as babies. :lol:


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AspieOtaku
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03 Nov 2013, 12:39 pm

Solvejg wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
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i have a hand held shower that i used for my kids as babies. :lol:
So you dont spray them with a garden hose? :lol:


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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03 Nov 2013, 3:04 pm

I never worked out what my baby needed, ever. I think it stems from the fact that I was breast feeding on demand. The info I was getting from those who were supporting me was that when my baby cried, I had to offer some milk. So, I basically thought that's what she wanted. I know now that my baby cried when she was tired and needed to sleep. But, I was getting messages from other people telling me that my baby must be hungry, when she was actually needing to be soothed to sleep. I was seriously confused until she started on solids, then everything started to come together.


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InnaLucia
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03 Nov 2013, 3:41 pm

I think my daughter only ever really cried when she was hungry, and then she'd get a feed and a cuddle and then fall asleep. I didn't have to learn what different cries mean.



enjoythesilence
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04 Nov 2013, 6:32 am

I didn't know at first, but once I learned what he wanted, I was very sensitive to his different cries.



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04 Nov 2013, 7:23 am

I can only relate to babysitting my nieces. So I was able to tell the difference upon them crying out of pain (dont think too bad of me, but they were twins and perfectly able to "hurt" themselves without real purpose by biting each other or pulling at each other hairs from now and then and other stuff ^^) which was very sudden and loud and had its own noise or if it was out of frustration/protest (so no real need, but something didnt go the way the wanted, like when a small plushie falls out of the sidecaged bed, and they are unable to reach it again).

The third different kind of crying, the "I feel unhappy out of the need for something/ I am not comfortable." I was basically able to tell, but upon the certain topic that made them unhappy, I simply had to do a checklist, so I couldnt separate tell by noise the difference about "Too hot, too cold, pampers wet, thirsty, bored, ..." Normally by checking that (feeling temperature at the face, seeking for sweat, feeling for cold fingers/toes, doing the smell-test at the pampers, offering something to drink/eat, offering entertainment/activity, ....) so I was able to find the "problem", but sometimes however they simply stayed crying (if one of them was crying the other one felt often affected too after a certain time - please god, I dont want twins. XD ), and then I simply swayed them slowly in the arms, until they normally slept at least after an hour or so. I felt bad, when I couldnt find the "problem", but my aunt told me, that this would happen to her from now and then as well, that they sometimes simply cry, without any recognizable reason, and that it would be ok, as long as its no "pain-caused" crying or goes on for hours and hours.



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04 Nov 2013, 9:10 am

I didn't know what my babies' cries meant even after having 3 of them. But I can tell what my dogs want by their barks. :?


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Halfmadgenius
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07 Nov 2013, 6:17 am

And this is why I intend to teach my babies sign language when I have them. Yes, this is a thing. Young babies can make signs for things like poop, eat, and sleep.



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07 Nov 2013, 6:47 am

Can subscribe that. An NT friend of mine teached that to her baby too. :)



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07 Nov 2013, 2:25 pm

Being a parent for almost three years, I still could never tell the difference and I still don't know what my kid wants half of the time. He has to show me what he wants but my husband knows before he even shows him. Since he was a year old, he has been showing me because he figured out he had to show me than expect me to read him. He is a smart boy.

But I can tell what a fear cry sounds like after I heard it from mine when he had his birth bath, and what a pain cry sounds like when he got his first shot. Those are the only differences I can see.


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