First Text Help

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Hello Fellow. I am in dire need of assistance.

Back story:
few weeks ago my mother invited me to some dinner party because some single girl would be there. I guess she wanted to try and hook me up. So I went and mingled a bit. I talked to the girl a little bit but she was pretty busy running the party. It was one of those pyramid scheme parties where they try and sell stuff. But I had noticed stares from her here and there. Party ends. Mother asks what I thought and I said she was alright. Mother apparently gave the girl my number and says she should text me. And she did....

I really have no idea what to do now... I never have any luck with this sort of thing at all. Ever. So I figure I better start rebuilding my dating and texting logic.

So, what should I write back in first text? Being myself never works.

What did she say to you to kick things off? Take that and build from it.

she just said "hey this is <name> from the Party last night"

My confidence is so low. I took a show to the bow today during work :/ i am a mess today.

I wonder what your mother has said to her...

Do you want to get to know this girl? If you do, then a reply along the lines of saying you enjoyed the party (if you did), didn't get a chance to talk to her much, and how about meeting up for a coffee/walk/whatever sometime?

How about "Hey! How's it going?" to start.

After a text or two back and fourth say "We should hangout sometime! What are you doing this weekend?"

No need to make it any more complicated than that. I would also recomend finding out from your mom exactly what she may have said to this girl. You don't want to be blindsided.

It would be cool to get a girlfriend. Lord knows I am lonely enough though I am content this way. But I am not really in a good position to get one. So I probably shouldn't even bother.

Guess I'll just be myself which will end it rather quickly

Last edited by CardBoardBox on 05 Nov 2013, 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Never use the words "hang out" best way to kill any type of relationship because you are not there to be a friend and hang out.

People actually say this?!
I thought it was just in movies about nerds.
I would never have the nerve! lol

So far just short replies and some "lol"s. I might know nothing about social stuff but I do know that it is time to call it quits

For future reference, I would say this: don't text or call someone unless you have a reason to. And a very good reason to text or call someone is to ask them out. I see no need to engage in any conversations through text so early on when meeting someone.

This one girl I am hanging out with: Every conversation I start usually starts with "hey there, hope you're having a good day I would like it if you could come salsa dancing with me on Friday." She hasn't no-showed on me, so I know things are going well.

Avoid using strong words. If I said the words "I want you to come out..." she may respond negatively.

People do say that. It's the go to term for nondescript social get together. It's less pressure than a date and it's a good way to find out if you are compatible. If you both actually like each other it will become obvious whether there's something there or not after a few hours of each other's company. I've had "hangouts" that lead to kissing and even sex before. In essence it's a date without calling it a date.

Where people seem to fail is when they do the hangout thing in order to "take it slow" and build something up (really just an excuse to chicken out and not make thier move right away.) If by the second or third hangout, nothing has happened, nothing will.

OP I hope you don't mind me asking, but what country are you from? I only ask because there are two things about your post that stand out to me.

Firstly, your salutation of "Fellow" was rather odd. That is not really the way a native English speaker would start a post on a forum. However, it could be that you're just a quirky person with AS who likes to communicate in your own individual style.

Secondly, this whole thing about your mother trying to set you up with someone, coupled with your unusual salutation, made me wonder if you might be from India or somewhere where they practice arranged marriages. If so, cultural norms and dating etiquette will be very different in your country, and we will need to modify our advice accordingly to make it relevant.

If you are from the US or somewhere in the West I apologise for making wrong assumptions. You only have a few posts so I can't really glean much information from them.

yes I am from the US. I have an weird vocabulary and grammar. People always complain about such things but I can never make out the defect. But then I always get As in honors English classes. So. I just go on doing what I do.

I think you'd have to be Geek to make that work. 'Let's get together sometime' - nah, I'm too old for that. 'Let's meet up, on x at y', now that's more like it.



Oh no! This makes me sad!

If we sing your song and dance around a bit, will that bring your mojo back?

Okay! Everyone!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sq8VDXlWQk[/youtube]

Last edited by octobertiger on 06 Nov 2013, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was not complaining about it; just making an observation. I just thought that if you were from a different country there might be a different etiquette when it came to texting young ladies, so I thought we'd better make sure where you are from.

Edit:

^ LOL at the emoticon overdose.

Last edited by LogicalMolly on 06 Nov 2013, 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

she's actually older than me. stacking more odds against it lol.