Dating a woman with AS does not sound appealing to me

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unemployedwithphd
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12 Nov 2013, 10:30 am

I have read that there are more women than men with AS. That would give woman with AS leverage over men with AS. I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie. Your best hope would be if she does not know she has AS and is not part of an AS community, then you can enjoy what you have in common without the skewed competition. I have dealt with this frustration in graduate school for physics and in juggling club.



Monolithe
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12 Nov 2013, 11:11 am

Actually boys are more likely to develop Asperger's therefore there are more men who are aspie's than women.

Anyway, I don't really understand what this so called problem is concerning female aspie's who have gotten a diagnose, It's not like them having gotten a diagnose worsens or changes them in a negative manner.


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BuyerBeware
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12 Nov 2013, 12:50 pm

Pretty sure there are more Aspie men than women. Something about MTH-FR deletions being theorized to be an X-linked recessive trait.

That said, dating a practical woman who places little value on material trinkets, has a short temper, struggles with identifying her emotions, and has less than no self-esteem doesn't exactly sound like my idea of a picnic, either. Frankly, after 15 years together, I don't have a freakin' clue what my husband sees in me.

My farther frank opinion is that, while AS/AS friendships might be tons of fun, AS/AS romantic relationships typically do not work out well. Too many of the same issues and weaknesses-- they make for good relating, but no ability to compensate for each others' weaknesses.

The long and short of this-- If dating an Aspie chick doesn't sound good to you, don't date one. I have Aspie friends and friends I believe to have schizoid personality disorder-- while I love asking their advice and opinion and perseverating with them over beer and hot dogs, I wouldn't consider dating (or God forbid, marrying) one of them for two-fifths of a nanosecond.


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naturalplastic
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12 Nov 2013, 1:46 pm

unemployedwithphd wrote:
I have read that there are more women than men with AS. .


I guy with a PHD should know to read more carefully than that.

You got it backwards. Four times as many guys are disgnosed with AS than women. Though its probably underdiagnosed in girls. The real ratio might be 2 to 1, or even close to even. But there is no way that you saw it written that 'more women have it than men'.



starkid
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12 Nov 2013, 1:52 pm

[quote="BuyerBeware"]
and has less than no self-esteem doesn't exactly sound like my idea of a picnic, either..[/quote

This is not a symptom of AS. The rest of your list consists of symptoms that are shared by some, not all, women with AS.



Willard
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12 Nov 2013, 3:12 pm

Maybe dating you wouldn't sound appealing to Aspergian women, either. :roll:

What is the point in coming into a support group for a disability and openly denigrating a large segment of that group?

Kind of like going into a veteran's hospital and walking the halls shouting "Man, I hate useless cripples."



Last edited by Willard on 12 Nov 2013, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

octobertiger
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12 Nov 2013, 3:15 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
unemployedwithphd wrote:
I have read that there are more women than men with AS. .


I guy with a PHD should know to read more carefully than that.

You got it backwards. Four times as many guys are disgnosed with AS than women. Though its probably underdiagnosed in girls.


Definitely. Girls are much better at masking it, and 'getting by' by not being as disruptive as boys.



JanuaryMan
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12 Nov 2013, 8:21 pm

Willard wrote:
Maybe dating you wouldn't sound appealing to Aspergian women, either. :roll:
What is the point in coming into a support group for a disability and openly denigrating a large segment of that group?
Kind of like going into a veteran's hospital and walking the halls shouting "Man, I hate useless cripples."


Indeed. People go to support groups to get away from that sort of behavior and also hang out with people more understanding.
Granted, at times you might find others there tiring in ways but the likelihood is they will also think the same of you at some point, whether your traits are identical or varied.



blueroses
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12 Nov 2013, 9:48 pm

Willard wrote:
What is the point in coming into a support group for a disability and openly denigrating a large segment of that group?

Kind of like going into a veteran's hospital and walking the halls shouting "Man, I hate useless cripples."


That was my gut reaction, too, when seeing the title of the thread. But, looking at his post, I really think he just sounds insecure about dealing with the competition he thinks there is over women with AS.

For whatever it's worth, OP, there doesn't seem to be more competition over us than neurotypical women and, if there was, we'd probably be too oblivious to the social cues to pick up on it anyway. So, no worries there. :)



yellowtamarin
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12 Nov 2013, 11:09 pm

unemployedwithphd wrote:
I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie.

I had that dream once too...



Who_Am_I
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12 Nov 2013, 11:13 pm

I don't want to date you either. Isn't nice how we feel the same way?


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b9
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12 Nov 2013, 11:32 pm

unemployedwithphd wrote:
I have dealt with this frustration in graduate school for physics and in juggling club.


it must be hard juggling physics with juggling, however i suppose that studying physics in order to learn how to juggle is a step in the right direction.



spongy
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13 Nov 2013, 1:44 am

I wonder how long its going to be until males start telling the OP how much of a hypocrite he is for having aspergers and not wanting to date someone with aspergers.

I mean its what it was done last time a female started a similar post and we are all for equal treatment, right?



Bodyles
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13 Nov 2013, 2:14 am

I have to disagree with the OP.

I'd love to date an aspie girl.

I'm not musically inclined, but there ought to be a song about that.
Anyone?



Flyer
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13 Nov 2013, 2:45 am

Monolithe wrote:
Actually boys are more likely to develop Asperger's therefore there are more men who are aspie's than women.

I think that's what OP meant. If you swap women and men in the first sentence it all makes sense.
unemployedwithphd wrote:
I have read that there are more men than women with AS. That would give woman with AS leverage over men with AS. I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie.

Why would there be a long line of men if there were fewer men with AS?



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2013, 3:31 am

We don't give a s**t.