"What you are feeling is normal" ...so?

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Does anyone ever get sick of it when people say to you "well you aren't alone - many people feel this way"?

I get sick of it because I already know that 1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental illness at some point. I already know that there are people around me that suffer from the problems I go through. I don't care if my feelings are normal or not - I want them to go away.

Why do people have this weird idea that depressed people are always worried about whether they stand out too much? I'm not going to feel better just because everyone else is also miserable.

Okay, rant done.

I feel the same way sometimes. Sorry if that doesn't make you feel better. LOL

I know what you mean, it's annoying because it sounds like your experience doesn't matter, like you should stop moaning and get your act together..as if it were that easy.

However, knowing about WP DOES actually make me feel a lot better than I did before. For the first time in my life I really do feel like other people understand some of what I am going through, which even if it doesn't make it all go away, at least makes me feel less insane.

Whenever I have somebody say something I find annoying, I try to remember to take a pause and ask myself whether this person is trying to be decent. If so, I try to let it slide. The way I see things, expecting others to understand me when I can't understand them implies that they are superior to me.

I think Leafplant makes an excellent point on the value of WP. I see you are younger. Well, I spent the first 46 years of my life thinking I was uniquely defective and a freak of nature. I managed to compensate the best I could, but it was not a good feeling. Finding out I have AS was one of the happiest days of my life. I'm guessing you think there is value in having others who can relate as evidenced by your presence on this website--and I say you are right and prudent to be here.

I hate it when people say things like "Don't worry, that's totally normal!" or "All hormonal teens feel sad sometimes" or "Everyone feels like that, you are not alone!"
It is so annoying. I know there are other depressed people, other anxious people, and even some who have it way worse, but that doesn't help me in the slightest! What am I supposed to so with that info? Say "Thanks, I'm glad to know there are more depressed people with anxiety attacks. That makes me feel sooooo much better"? Because it doesn't! It makes me feel worse for not being able to just get over it.

The psychologist I am seeing constantly says "I went through that when I was a kid" "I had it way worse than you" and "I know EXACTLY how you feel". She doesn't even. Ugh.

Agreed. that "you are not alone" speech doesn't help, just makes me feel worse.

Its like they are telling me off. as in "how dare you feel sad when other people have problems as well"

It's like saying to someone with a broken leg "oh, it's ok, don't worry, broken legs always hurt like that"...

My counsellor used to say it to me.

I told her to stop, and she did.

Well some people feel guilty for being depressed, etc so saying that may be helpful to them. Probably not helpful to anyone else.

I'm very depressed myself all the time. I say this to people sometimes. However, I think it depends on the situation/person. For example, if they are feeling alone and having a "normal" reaction to something bad (like a death of a loved one) I tell them what they are experiencing is "normal" (and I put it in quotes) so they don't feel like they are some freak of nature for crying for days. For other people, I tell them they aren't alone. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. The problem is what helps one person will make another feel worse. If I get a feel for a person, I try to avoid things that will make them feel worse. If I happen to say it, though, I often say I'm at a loss for words and I'm better listening. I think saying a horrible, deep depression is "normal" is kind of messed up, though. The words minimize their feelings.

The best way i can think about it is this. When people say that others have felt this way it is to make it insignificate. If that is true then what about when you are feeling good and even happy? Other people feel that too so is happiness insignificate too? Sould we even bother with any emotions then. How is a response like it is "normal" or your not "alone" a good first response. I know they do. But they are not here next to me right now to compare notes with right. If not, then don't tell me that. It isn't what people want to here. That their problems are normal.