why do so many aspie struggle with women

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why are women so difficult to talk to for a
majority of asperger(male and female).
women are easy to talk to,at least for me.
I've seen aspie men who struggle with women.
I've seen aspie women who struggle with women.

I like to know,what is so scary about females,
they are fun to talk to.

I don't have any problems talking to women as friends.
I just don't even get any further. There is this alien language called "flirting" that I have no comprehension of.

lack of overall social skills.

Women are scary!

Many aspies struggle with unspoken communication and subtly, two attributes that women employ a lot of.

My experience is that women are the keepers of social customs and are more likely to get annoyed if you do not follow the unwritten rules. Men are not as concerned with politeness. Interacting with men is a lot more straightforward, easy to understand.

This is so true. I find men so much easier to deal with because they aren't so obsessed with things that don't really matter. Women are always making up stupid social expectations that make no sense and if you don't follow their stupid rules they turn it into a major drama. I just roll my eyes and walk away.

To actually contribute to this thread;

My anxiety around women comes from the "what if she's -the one-" idea stuck in my head.
"What if she's the one girl that can make me happy, and who I can make happy too once she better understands me, but here I am, already screwing up just talking to her".

It's a vicious self foretelling/destroying cycle I can't get over.

What's even weirder is that I'm not gay, but sometimes I will meet a guy who I think is so perfect and would like so much to be my friend that I get the same kind of anxiety.
I can see ourselves as two old men sitting by the water somewhere fishing and talking about what good life we had, and then I snap back to reality and get anxious because I wouldn't know where to start making that vision come true.

For me personally, I think it has to do with growing up in a family dominated by man-hating b*****s. I am just now starting to realize that most women will be nice to you as long as you are polite. Original poster, what was your family environment like growing up or early experiences with females?

Last edited by em_tsuj on 27 Nov 2013, 12:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

I usually have nothing to say to females unless they are family. In today's society females can make up claims of harassment if males try to talk to them. I find it safer to avoid social interaction with women.

There seems to be some sort of impression among a lot people in general that you have to be some kind of "pimp" or incredibly attractive in order to talk to a member of member of the opposite sex.

Maybe it's just a midwest/American thing, but women seem generally nicer. They'll smile and laugh a lot more than men .

This is an interesting point. Yes while women are in some ways more affected by social norms, I think it is just more that the social norms for men have a little more leeway. In terms of social interaction, somehow females seem to accept social deviation more openly than men do. I can't really put this into words put I'm sure you can find literature and personal experiences to back this up.

For me, it's because talking and conversing basically center around shared common interests, relevant subjects, etc. Because my interests and hobbies don't interest very many women, I rarely have anything to talk about with a woman on the rare occasions I'm actually around them.

Personally I find females much easier to deal with. I'm much more comfortable around them.
I've found that I'm just female enough to find men too direct, or maybe more to the point direct in the wrong way, to be comfy with them. They just rub me the wrong way much of the time.
Guys can be funny but I prefer females. They're easier to be around and more open.

I guess I'm one of the odd ones out here Currently, most of my friends are female, but this is a result of the gender appearance ratio tipped slightly towards females in the friend circles I'm apart of. My anxiousness only kicks in when I'm thinking about being more than friends with them, but this is slowly becoming a rare occurrence for me.

I can relate 100% to your situation, my man. That's how it was for me during my college (university) days, and I can chalk up no relationships to either faults on my part, or trying to take it further, but getting shut down because they told me they already had a boyfriend.

Because we tend to "think" too much and not "do" enough. Maybe?