What is it with eye contact?

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Has anybody been able to pinpoint exactly what it is about eye contact that they don't like? I personally hate it, and the more nervous I am in situation, the less likely I am to look people in the eye. Also, what do you think other people think about it? Do you think most people would realise there's something wrong, or do you think they just assume we are being really rude and diliberately ignoring them?

Personally I don't think I actually dislike eye contact at all - it just induces a peculiar type of information overload because of how expressive most people's eyes are, I seek something else to fixate on when I feel someone's eyes could be sending me unreadable messages. NTs do this too, but over longer spans of time, since they aren't reading into their senses as much. Since I worked out this system of reasoning, I still don't seem entirely normal to anyone really, but my statements and actions do. Those who assume the worst when confronted with ambiguity aren't really worth interacting with anyway.

I'd have to agree with cberg.
It's a sensory overload issue, too much information contained in them.
I actually look in peoples' eyes deliberately occasionally, if I want to get a deeper read on them than everything their body language, speech patterns, and what they actually are saying is telling me about them will allow, or if I need to let them see something in me I can't adequately convey with words.
Usually only takes a split second for me to get and/or convey the information I need to and then look away.

Though it's debatable whether the eyes are the 'windows on the soul', what is a fact is that they are a direct, highly focused, and refined external interface with the brain.
More information can be gleaned fron studying the eyes than from reading everything else about a person's body language & speech combined.
Likewise, more information can be coveyed in a single glace than in everything else a person does or says.

For people like us who lack the filters NTs do on their conscious awareness of the information their senses are taking in, it's kind of like being screamed at really loudly and continuously.
Moreover, we're often aware of the information we're transmitting when we make such contact, since we can see it and the reactions to it in the information we're getting.
Personally, that's why I try to limit it and only allow it when I decide to, and even then it's often too intense to be parsed usefully in the moment without further reflection.

I personally do not have as big a problem with this as I used to. Based on my experience the better I do in my own life, the more confident I feel and the more assertive I feel. Over time I have been able to look people in the eye more often. IMO the inability of a person with Aspergers to make eye contact has to do with the fact that you are struggling to keep your own life in balance. For many of us this next to impossible to do without the assistance. Without the proper help this causes stress, which makes it hard for people to be happy, calm, and assertive.

I feel this sickening jolt every time I accidentally make eye contact with someone. It is almost physically painful. When someone tries to catch my eye I feel a hatred for them. It is just too intimate and I feel like they are violating me.

i have no interest in eyes. i do not look at them because i have no interest in them.

If eye contact creates sensory overload (I'm not saying anybody is wrong, just speculating) then why is looking at someone with their eyes closed, OK? Because surely you don't read the information from the eyeball? It's the muscles around the eyes and eyebrows that control expression, isn't it? Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not an expert in expressions.

If eye contact creates sensory overload (I'm not saying anybody is wrong, just speculating) then why is looking at someone with their eyes closed, OK? Because surely you don't read the information from the eyeball? It's the muscles around the eyes and eyebrows that control expression, isn't it? Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not an expert in expressions.

I think there is a lot of information in the eyeball itself. The iris and the pupil change significantly and the iris is not one solid color.

Only recently have I come to the sensory overload conclusion myself.

I avoid eye contact, generally, and get away with it most if the time. (I prefer to position myself side by side with the person I am talking with so that eye contact is less expected.) I was diagnosed with severe ADHD as a child (who spoke late) and that was only redefined as Aspergers as an adult. I think the greatest thing that came from not having an Aspergers diagnosis was not being reprimanded for poor eye contact--instead, adults reasoned it was my ADHD (unfortunately, that also meant they often thought I was not paying attention when I was).

Aside from sensory overload, I also seem completely incapable of certain processing needs while at the same time maintaining eye contact. All people look away to access some types of memory. I am a visual/pattern thinker. To be able to communicate well with others through speech, I must preprocess my thoughts and convert them into words. I can store previous "scripts" as well, but it still takes more processing time than a NT. If I am asked to participate in a conversation that I do not have a stored script or scripts to access and I am speaking directly from images and patterns, looking away greatly aids in my being able to communicate (though, sometimes I still cannot do it effectively).

While listening, I find that if the information is personal, does not contain information I want to extract and store, and I care about the person, I find that I desire to look at their eyeballs.

While listening for information (which is almost always), to properly store the information, I must look away.

I tend to let my eyes rest on crown moulding a lot. I like crown moulding.

Fun Fact: i actually didnt know i had to make eye-contact until grade 7. for me, i dont like it, its very Uncomfortable and intense. also i cant keep my eyes on focus for that long.

Consistent uninterrupted eye-contact during normal conversation is often a sign that the person "staring" at you is trying to pick-a-fight.

YES. So staring at someone constantly is considered rude and SO JUST DON"T DO IT.

But for me the larger issue is only partially about eyes.

I can look at eyes all day without discomfort, IF it's only the eyes I'm looking at.

But what happens to me is that when I look "someone" in the eyes I'm usually also seeing their entire face. If you take your time and kind of squinch up your eyes you can see the rest of the person's face and watch it during a conversation. It's amazing the little movements, strains and twitches on other's faces.

I understand all these little motions have meanings to other NTs, but for me it's just frustrating; IT'S ALMOST AS THOUGH THEY EXPECT YOU TO START TWITCHING YOUR FACE IN RESPONCE. LOL I think this will be forever beyond my capabilities.

Pain

i think its an instinctive thing, maybe the wiring in our brains makes us more instinctive in some ways, if you look at other animals making eye contact is a bad sign as well as showing teeth but yet for some reason in humans we do it anyway.

i am OK making eye contact with some people, in fact with some i enjoy keeping eye contact with them for some reason but with others i find it very difficult to do, there is no pain or anything i just don't like it at all with some people, i think it might be partly because some people i feel intimidated by so looking in their eyes is more difficult

I actually don't know, I just don't really feel a need to look at them outside of societal expectation.