No emotional connection?

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It used to be that years ago, the basics of socializing confused me. Now I'm at the point where I can talk and interact with people fine, and most people don't think anything of it. I think I'm somewhat analytical with socializing. I learned psychology and sociology and combined with my own experience, I manage to get by.

Still, sometimes when I interact with people, I don't feel any emotional connection. Sometimes, it's like I put on a front, that I consciously do or say things, and it works, but it feels empty.

I'm not doing anything malicious, or lying per say, but when that happens, I feel like I'm being dishonest and manipulative because I did something in an intentional and conscious manner. I'm not a sociopath, I definitely feel connected to people, but still, sometimes, like I said, things I say to get by or try and forge a connection ring hollow, and ergo, I feel like I'm being manipulative, and then I feel kind of guilty.

I've been told before that everyone does this, and might not realize it. I'm simply aware of it.

Is that true?

There are some people who are really good at being fake (i.e. feigning engagement for the sake of the connection). There are others who can't be bothered (or don't know how) to do this.

Truth is: If the boss tells a joke and you don't laugh when everyone does (whether you think it's funny or not), he or she will think you're not interested and will be less likely to engage you personally and will be less likely to think of you for a big project or promotion. It's not fair, but it's how the working world works.

I feel guilty fake laughing (or feigning interest) all the time, but, before I started doing this I had a really hard time getting along with people and people were less apt to give me a pass when I do something dumb. I honestly could care less about my co-workers' kids, but, when I smile vacantly and nod along with whatever they're telling me, they think I do and it makes my life easier.

I'm always in favor of making my life easier!

Jesus Christ I have to interact with people and feel an emotional connection? I'm already putting in effort to feign interest and be social in the first place. I can't FORCE myself to connect with them.
Like you, I approach socializing analytically. I'm naturally a logical person. Unfortunately, socializing is far from logical.
I have limited experience with "the real world," but I can already tell that I have to fake being social for the sake of survival. I've had a rough time in college because I wasn't fake to girls who didn't interest me at all and didn't "get to know" my professors.
I like the joke example the post above me gave. It's a situation I'm frequently in, and I've realized it's best just to force a laugh. I can't FORCE myself to actually find it funny.

I don't connect with most people. I don't feel guilty about being fake unless it comes to leading a woman on. I feel it is the moral thing to do. It hurts people's feelings when you are cold.

With me. and many aspies I figure, we learn to smile, and chat a little superficial clouds of words with the people we run into in our lives. But NTs are engrossed in one another's stories. They KNOW what is going on in their lives... and they care. They talk and share. These days it is keeping NSA busy as can be... it is a real jobs program, because not only do we have cell phones, we have texting. We have smart phones that send videos and photos too. So they are updating on these personal dramas all the time.

I don't think many folks here are sending a 100 texts, a dozen photos, and 50 tweets to friends every day?

I feel the same way when I just say things that seem appropriate for the social context that I´m in. I then think that I'm only saying it because it´s the right thing to say, or that it's a learned response, and it doesn't really reflect who I am and what I feel. I then feel false and manipulative (even though I'm not trying to make anyone do/think anything in particular).
I don't know if it's true that everyone does this, I think it's impossible to know that. But you're not alone in doing this.

Even with my best friends, I am fairly quiet.

I think an Aspie can learn to enjoy the company of others. It's just a slow process, and it takes a special kind of person to love an Aspie.

With most of the planet I work hard at "pretending to be normal" for their sake - and to make the whole interaction process less painful for me too.

It's work - not particularly enjoyable work either.

Few get to see the real me - most of the time I'm on guard, shields up.

Participating in these discussions is something I don't get much time to do, but what little time I able to be here I greatly enjoy. I thought for decades I was a party of one until:

a) being formally diagnosed with Asperger's

b) finding this community

It has been a lifesaver for me.

This is why I have never had a girlfriend.

Looking at my past I know women have been interested in me as more than a friend but I have never felt any connection so I missed out.

I think that people care less about day-to-day interactions than they let on, but for me it goes beyond that. Sometimes I watch people bonding by talking openly about their feelings and personal lives and wonder how they're so comfortable with that, let alone how it feels good to do that with someone they don't know very well.

Strangers get my thoughts. Only people who are already friends get my feelings. I'm not ashamed of them or anything else that's assumed, I just don't show them off for the same reason I don't show everyone my baby pictures, my sleeping space, or my naked body...

For many decades, I was barely aware of emotional connections around me, navigating by logic and the Golden Rule. My counselor says that a lot of people don't notice any more about other people than they do about cars - Is the signal on? Are they out of line? If not, ignore.
Don't worry too much about being maximally connected - few people are. I was edified to learn that I was like Socrates, in wondering about the morality of tricking people to do things that were good for them, even if you couldn't persuade them to by logic.

+1

It is because they truly value their group/pack more than their individuality. This often seems strange to someone with AS! Just as they would find it strange to value one's individuality over the group/pack the way we do.