NTs are too picky when it comes to dating.

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As an aspie, I know this very well. I don't like to be judgmental, but when you've been rejected so many times by NTs like I have, you'll see what I mean. In general, I say that NTs are not for us when it comes to dating. Don't you agree?

I agree that one should be extremely careful with whom one dates. There are just too many variables out there. I don't blame people for being suspicious about their choices. After all you just never know.

Not at all.

I don't know of anyone - NT, Aspie, or whatever - who would look forward to a date with someone who (a) can not hold up their end of a conversation without dominating the conversation with endless details about their special interests; (b) can not dance, or whose dance moves resemble a standing epileptic seizure; (c) hand-flaps when under stress; (d) laughs or shouts inappropriately; and (e) seems to have little or no understanding of current fashion or the basics of personal hygiene.

There are still a few odd birds out there who don't mind...

I think if you really take stock and look around you will see this is not true.

If I have to venture a guess I would say you were being picky in even your assessment of the population of people you were considering, in general, when making this statement. (i.e. being limited to ony certain socio-economic classes, level of attractiveness, intellectual capabilities, and etc.)

Because if you look around you will see plenty of unattractive people with a more attractive person, unattractive people with other people that are unattractive Women who are the breadwinners in their relationships. Overwieght people with healthy weight people. Stylish people with less stylish people. Smart women with dumb men. Smart men with dumb women. Dumb with dumb and smart with smart. And so on and so forth... (all of these based upon "traditional" standards of course and not absolutes).

You should also consider that everyone has their own personal reason for wanting to be (or not be) in a relationship.

If you set up mental criteria before you begin to date and find that the population that you are interested in is not attracted to you then maybe its you that needs to reestablish a new perspective.

Are you trying to convince us to lower our standards, or were you expecting us to tell you it was okay if you did?

Try dating some aspies and see how that works. Not being sarcastic. I'm actually curious.

See what you did there?? You supported my point. If you aren't going to lower yours why should they lower theirs??

Isn't it you with the brain that functions differently? Isn't it you that requires extra concessions, modes of communication, understanding, and patience??

You sound like you expect these women (I'm assuming middle class, attractive, financially independent) to forget their reasons for wanting a relationship and just love you for who you are while you won't look to your left, right, front, and back to the women that may be "different" from your standard but who are attracted to you.

I know PLENTY of aspies who are just as picky if not even pickier when it comes to dating.

I don't expect anything like that. Nobody looks like a supermodel in real life, and everyone has things that they struggle with. And I came to terms with the death of the middle class a long time ago. But settling for someone because you feel obligated to isn't necessarily a good thing. Especially if that person is abusive or otherwise dangerous to your body or reputation.

There def are some women who have a hairpin trigger when it comes to rejecting people, but in general, people have certain things they like, and things they don't like.

There are plenty of picky aspies here too.

The key is to identify the things your looking for, and look for them, and you have to bring something to the table too. What can you bring to the relationship?

Try to limit your disqualifying criteria to maybe 3, and maybe be flexible a little.

I.E. I met a girl one time, she liked amusement parks and the beach but hated skiing (One of my disqualifies is being a boring person) but I thought well 2/3 isn't bad really, and if she liked me, maybe she would want to learn skiing.

So can you try to explain why when a NT doesn't want to "settle" for a relationshp that they might find to be unnecessarily more difficult and less rewarding, its being picky. Yet, when an Aspie does it, it's having standards?

True, but they're picky for the wrong reasons. NTs judge the kind of people (such as aspies) that are shy and awkward and all that, but fall too hard for the wrong people who "have all the right moves". NTs are suspicious about their choices, but in the wrong way.

Exactly; I'm not very picky at all when it comes to dating. And does it matter if other aspies are "pickier than NTs" when it comes to dating? Not really, for me, because I'm an aspie myself, and their ways are more understandable to me than the NT way.

try harder. Not being picky about anything just means you have no standards. Nobody wants to date someone who has no standards. You might as well be a blow up doll.

Okay if you're not being overly picky the lets think about what thewhitrbbit said..



Are you bringing a full meal to the table or are you missing some courses?