I feel like an alien

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I don't know what else to say, but I just had to get it out of my system.

I feel like I am a different species to the rest of the world, even if I do look like a homo sapien sapien on the outside.

On a somewhat related issue, I just got a book about UFO encounters out of the library. I have not read it yet.

I've only just started feeling like this recently after not feeling it for quite a few years.

I think it might be due to me starting a new job and being around new people.

I do like the people who I work with and I know they're ok with me, but I feel really exposed.

I'm not anxious or anything like that, it's just a really weird feeling. I also feel as though they know, but they're not saying anything.

Trust me, NTs rather soon find out something is different - at least they know when someone makes a social "mistake" in the NT-sense.

But on the other hand, they actually do not find out that quickly if you pretend to be NT. They are so used to meeting other NTs that they cannot imagine that you would not find the group more important than your integrity.

So when you do not value the group enough or do not find your place in the social hierarchy they start bullying you in order for you to "get the point" without telling you directly. It is hard for many to imagine that you would rather choose to be alone that be bullied in the group!

Last edited by qawer on 22 Dec 2013, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I understand that feeling. Just remember you have a social mindset similar to a cat, and we all know how wonderful animals cats are! They insist on not being submissive. I really like and respect them for being that way.

We aliens are here to teach humanity.

I've always felt different too. Problem is people don't like those who are different

Does bullying someone into comformity really work?

It tends to back fire with me as I very rarely want to be part of a group let alone one who is trying to bully me.

I want to be accepted by individuals but group dynamics don't interest me at all socially (I am more interested in group dynamics when having to work as part of a team but not as a social experience in and of itself).

Socially I only ever seek one or two close friends and a life partner. I'd rather have just one friend whom I share a connection with than lots of friends I hardly know. I am seeking 1 best buddy and a lover I think, ergo my interest in joining a group is pretty non existent. Bullying me will only reinforce my decision to not want to be part of that dynamic, especially as I find bullying someone morally repugnant.

I can remember an experience at school where a group of girls had attempted to befriend me. They wanted me to join in with them whilst they bullied another girl who was always standing alone in the playground.

I could not do it and declined, choosing instead to talk to the girl they were bullying as I felt very sad for her. She seemed to be so lonely and I wanted to help. It was probably social suicide as the bullies then turned their attentions on me, but I would repeat the action again even with hindsight.

I have a very strong moral objection to bullying which is why I get so uppity and post a lot about my experiences in regards to people bullying me. I can become rather obsessive when it comes to my aversion to bullying and bullies. These are not people I would ever join in with or admire. Ever.

I have made BIG efforts to fit in, and inevitably no matter how light hearted and free from potential pit falls someone picks up something.

"You're kinda weird aren't you?

"There is something....I dunno odd about you.....kinda"

Not everyone dislikes different. Some people are open minded and can actually like it.

Cats seem to adopt me...but i think that is because I feed them or something. I have a tendency to pick up strays sometimes. I used to have a cat that would follow me around on my avon round. I don't know whose cat it was.

I think cats are wonderful animals. Beautiful critters.

On saying that I can like some dogs too, but not jack russels. They always bite me. I have been bitten 3 times by 3 different Jack russels so I tend to steer clear of them!

Usually though, animals like me a lot more than humans do.

There was an instance at a kennels where I went to see if I could adopt a pet some years ago. There was on dog there that would not go to anyone (even staff) and whom would always hide behind a chair at the end of his cage. When I went in to see him he came straight up to me and let me fuss him. The staff were somewhat surprised and I very nearly adopted him. For some reason though I chose another. I feel bad about that actually as I wonder if the shy little critter found a home after all. I do hope so, he was very sweet.

Sorry to digress from the point of the thread.

I work with a good mixture of people, AS, NT and ADHD. I have a good radar for spotting people on the spectrum.

There is no bullying in my place of work. The management come down very hard on bullies. It just isn't tolerated, as we have to work closely as a team in order to get good results. I've never been worried about being bullied anyway.

I've never felt excluded from socialising, in fact I feel as though they are going out of their way to make sure I am included and making sure that I am ok.

I am extremely quiet and I do spend a lot of time in my own world. It's as though they are aware that I have my needs and they leave me to get on with it in my own way. That is why I think they are aware of my AS.

I've never been treated with such consideration in my life before.

But I still feel like an alien.

Bullying works a little bit in the way you are thinking. Bullying grants social status to the bully.

In college I was in a class where a class where a guy was being kind of a dick to some of the girls. I don't remember exactly what happened but I said something along the lines of "when you say something mean it gets repeated 1000 times, so why dont you shut the f**k up." he replied "well isn't that something mean?" to which I replied "shut the f**k up! 999" and got several classmates to chime in 998...995...988 and eventually he just stopped talking altogether. An odd side effect of this was that now everyone knew who I was and I had apparently leached up his social status and become "popular." A couple days later the count was around 850 and I decided it had gone too far so I suggested they stop telling him to shut up and was duly informed that if I had kept it going I would have been popular, but since I had stood up for him I was to be relegated to be an ungainly mediocritite. TBH I wasn't all that broken up about it.

By causing the bullying I had indeed changed the individual's apparent behavior (while doing nothing to solve the root cause). In turn by being seen as dominant over another I gained partial dominance over the entire social structure.

Conversely being seen to sympathize with the social outcast caused severe damage to my social equity. My social equity was reduced even with my immediate friends, as a subset of the social structure (which I was surprised by).

Its really weird the way it goes like that.

Why is being a bully seen as being socially cool and why does everyone want dominance?

I like to be independent but have no desire to be dominant over others. Nor do I desire submission (in any serious context anyway..um fun bedroom games don't count). I just don't care about power games at all. MY driving force is passion. I want to experience things and learn and have adventure (as long as my routines are not too upset by it) and so on. Power holds no attraction to me at all.

Ergo to me, bullying making someone socially popular is a mystery.

And what about the person being bullied or with the lower social status. Do people not care that that person has feelings and rights!

I really hate this hierarchical social structure.

As pretentious as this may sound, I consider myself to be post-human. Like, I'm biologically a human being, but mentally, I'm different from most of humanity. So I'm like an intelligent alien species, but in a human body.

Transhumanism is in the eye of the beholder