The term "autistic behaviours"

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The term "autistic behaviours", and other related terms such as "stimming behaviours", makes me angry. I'm not even quite sure of how to express why this is so, but the gist of it is:

1. The term "behaviours" seems to imply that the behaviours are just put on for no reason. "Oh, my child is having autistic behaviours like meltdowns." No, your child is melting down because they aren't coping with something.

2. NTs don't have "behaviours", they have things they do. Ways of expressing their personality. Noone talks about "small-talking behaviour" or "partying behaviour" or "non-verbal-communicative behaviours". "Autistic behaviours" takes away personhood.
My avoidance of eye contact is not an "autistic behaviour". It's my normal way of being. It's not an autistic overlay on the normal person hidden underneath. Engaging in my special interest is not an "autistic behaviour". It's called "doing something that I enjoy."
I don't have "stimming behaviours". Firstly, it happens automatically and can only be suppressed for as long as I consciously focus on it, so calling it a "behaviour" is almost as ridiculous as referring to "breathing behaviours". Secondly, it's called "how I move my body". Kind of like NTs with their "sitting behaviours" and "walking behaviours" and "gesturing behaviours".

3. The term suggests that so-called "behaviours" are just an autistic overlay on a hidden normal person, and if you remove them, then you'll get a normal person. No. What you'll get is an autistic person who's horribly stressed because they're being prevented from doing things that are perfectly natural to them, for no reason other than "it makes you look autistic". Well Heaven forbid that anyone should look autistic.

Does that make sense? Anyone else feel the same way?

No, I don't have problem with autistic behaviors, because I call eberryone's (neurotypical and autistic) behaviors behaviors, like eating behaviors, sleeping behaviors, mating behaviors, neurotypical eye gaze behaviors, autistic eye gaze behaviors.

I agree
I very much agree
People have told me that I look autistic, and I later found out that they were trying to be insulting

Yes, our innate and learned tendencies in response to our environment can be construed as behavior -- either neurotypical or autistic. But I think the OP's problem is an overly formal and clinical approach towards our own mannerisms and traits. I agree with her. While this kind of speak should be acceptable in areas of science and psychiatry, having the average layman constantly refer to my inherent and learned outputs as "behaviour" sometimes seems to depersonalize my experiences and assign less value towards them.

I think it relates to modern psychiatry's drive to pathologize literally everything. As a scientific kind of guy, it never bothered me and I think of all kinds of things as NT behaviors.

However, the way you describe it, it does sound ridiculous. You wrote it very well, also. It could make a great comedy bit, in my opinion, and would be the kind of thing that subtly mocks the "drive to pathologize" that I consider worthy of mockery.

Popeye said it best,"I yam what I yam."
People seem to think its bad for someone to be asocial.I had a therapist that told me I had to go somewhere new every month and interact with people.I told him that I went to the store,shouldn't that count?
It stresses me out to socialize.To have to be around people 24/7 would be miserable.Social people need other people around them or they feel stressed.No one tells them they are over-socializing.
They also seem to think that if you don't hang out with others that you must dislike people.That you have no empathy or feelings towards others.I don't hate them,just the feelings of stress and exhaustion that I get from being overstimulated.Mostly I'm just oblivious to them.I doubt I could pick the person next to me in the grocery check out in a police line up.But if they had a cool t-shirt on,that I would remember,but not the face.
To me it's natural to require solitude most of the time.To a social person my life would be too isolated, they would feel depressed.

i think i understand! that there is more to autism than the behaviours! something deeper, thats why the 'autistic behaviours' vary so widely. if you take a behaviour that can be explained by the neurological problems caused by autism, then its autism, but lots of autistic behaviours can be explained by something medical or physiological. i think autism consists of something in the wiring of the brain, that can cause typical autistic behaviours like Repetitiveness, aloofness and low stress tolerance,

I understand exactly what you're saying and I agree 100%. While it's true there are certain behaviors associated with the disorder, many people (including a lot of people who HAVE the disorder) take it to mean that the behaviors ARE the disorder. [[[BUZZER]]] Sorry Hans (Asperger), wrong answer.

High Functioning Autism is not a social disorder. It is a SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER and the behaviors emerge FROM (and because of) the sensory issues.

It is the inability of our brains to funnel and assimilate all the barrage of incoming sensory data (light, sound, voices, touch sensations, emotion, words, written or spoken thoughts, etc.) all at once that causes the high stress levels.

In turn, that anxiety makes it difficult to focus - on nonverbal cues, facial expressions, eye contact and so forth, leading to social ineptness and sometimes learning disabilities like ADHD.

The social ineptness leads to friendlessness, alienation, loneliness, bullying, and various forms of verbal and psychological abuse, which leads to chronic depression and various other mental and physical maladies.

But it's the sensory processing problem that sets the dominoes falling in the first place.

What gets me with all this is that to use as examples, shyness, lack of eye contact, lack of small talk rate SOOOO BADLY by the NT community. They make it out almost to be a crime. Meanwhile, for example, I am honest but I might as well lie, I mean we tell the truth, but no one believes us! But why are these behaviors SO BAD?

Because being shy, avoiding eye contact, and being averse to small take can and will cause significant problems for someone who lives in a society that values these things. There are, unfortunately, an unbelievable amount of life opportunities that will be missed because of these things. I know that it's incredibly tired and cliche at this point, but humans are a social species. Our tendency and willingness to cooperate with one another is the single greatest reason that humans are the most dominant species on this planet. Shyness, lack of eye contact, and lack of small talk undermine this strength, so it's no mystery as to why these traits are viewed as weaknesses.

No. I always thought autistic behavior was referred to people who act autistic but really aren't because of other issues they have that mimic the traits. Child abuse can do it and being deaf and having mental retardation can also mimic the traits and seizures too and history of hearing loss. There is also autistic tenancies and I always assumed it meant the same thing as autistic behavior or it can mean they have traits of it but not enough to have autism but it still impairs them and I also heard the term autistic characteristics which I assume means the same.

But I would say that people (both NT and AS) do much worse things like lie, are mean, abusive, do criminal things and yet, there does not seem to be the hatred that NT people have toward the autistic behaviors. Why the intense hate? Now some behaviors are bad, like I don't like kids who scream all the time and smear s**t all over the walls but maybe just ban those behaviors because no one should be doing them even if they are NT. I myself have to deal with a BIL who is strongly NT but has poor bathroom habits (see the thread about Gross and he is a Doctor) yet people worship him becuase he talks about football and is a doctor.

It annoys me more when they are referred to as 'problem behaviour.' Really, they are coping mechanisms because of our over active and overstimulated brains. All our behaviour relating to our symptoms are a cause from the differences in our brain.

Very well said...thank you...this puts it all into perspective for me.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers last year. I have historically had problems dealing with people, so I understand that aspect of it. But I don't have any all-consuming interests that I'm totally focused on: I don't spend hours each day cataloging variations in the body structure of individually-examined head lice, for example. I understand that a fascination with one or more very narrowly-focused interests is common in people with Aspergers. But since I don't seem to have that particular aspect of the condition, does that mean that maybe I'm misdiagnosed? Maybe I don't have Aspergers as all; maybe what I have is extreme social phobia or something like that?

But my main question is, does one have to exhibit ALL the traits to be considered as someone with Aspergers?

For example: I saw the movie Mozart and the Whale. I'm terrible with numbers (well, not terrible, but not anywhere near as adept as the character in that story), nor do I have any "special" skill such as that in any other area of my life. So does that mean I'm not Aspie?