Page 1 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

MelissaEM
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 29
Location: Queens, New York

10 Apr 2005, 7:17 pm

I have a lot of problems controlling how loud my voice is, mainly because I'm not always aware of how loud I'm getting, even when I'm just talking. When I get angry, this problem becomes a lot more apparent. Not even my own mother believes me when I tell her that I don't yell on purpose.

Also, when Mom and I fight, because I yell so much she tries to get away from me, rolling her eyes and using an angry tone, even talking through gritted teeth. This puts me in a lot of distress; I can't stand having her mad at me, for one thing, and for another, the fact that the only person who truly makes me feel safe is trying to escape me makes me feel very scared. So I reach out and grab her to prevent her from getting away... not violently, just grabbing her arm or something like that, and I don't try to hurt her, either. But this only makes her more angry with me and she'll tell me to basically "let go or else."

What am I supposed to do? I can't take this anymore! My mother is my greatest ally, and I love her so much... this isn't fair! :cry: How do I control my voice? How do I get to understand how scared I am? How frustrated I am? She never seems to understand the extent of it all, and if she doesn't understand me, I've got no one! :cry:



10691047
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 230
Location: Wisconsin

10 Apr 2005, 8:14 pm

Yeah I hear ya. I have the some of the same voice problems except my mom is the one that grabs me by the arm. She always tells me to "lower my voice" and half of the time I am not even loud either that or I think I am not, can't really tell.

My guess would be to just whisper or talk in a really low tone.


_________________
This is my signature. Pretty cool eh?


Postperson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2004
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,023
Location: Uz

10 Apr 2005, 8:17 pm

speech therapy.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

11 Apr 2005, 6:37 am

I also have problems with speaking very loudly. It might have something to do with having naturally strong or loud voices. Talking quietly just doesn't come naturally to me.



Sarcastic_Name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,593

11 Apr 2005, 10:39 am

I can control my voice, although it's still kind of loud. But, I can't whisper very well. :)


_________________
Hello.


axelkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 760
Location: the desert

11 Apr 2005, 12:39 pm

my voice does not get all that loud. but iam not soft spoken or talk in whispers. My voice is kinda like a monotone bass cello when im disinterested and an animated bass cello when i get interested or excited when i speak. I go to a church group of 65+ people and my voice is by far the lowest there.
A


_________________
Uncle Joe loves labor


kaixo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

12 Apr 2005, 3:02 am

for whatever reason, i have no concept of voice modulation either. specifically volume.

i don't know how that can be helped really. the only thing to do is remind her of why you speak so loudly.



MelissaEM
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 29
Location: Queens, New York

12 Apr 2005, 4:44 pm

kaixo wrote:
i don't know how that can be helped really. the only thing to do is remind her of why you speak so loudly.


The problem is, she doesn't believe me when I tell her how little control I have. If someone else yells at her, I get pissed and tell (not yell, TELL) her, "Nobody should yell at you, no one!" To which she retorts, "Oh, nobody except you?" And no, she isn't joking.

She thinks I just choose not to control my voice. She knows loud or monotone voices are a part of AS, but she assumes that because I'm aware of the problem I have no trouble controlling it. I try to explain to her, but she will NOT listen. She complains that I'm abusing her... which is a very low blow for me. I don't mean it! I'm not trying to hurt her! But she refuses to understand that... :cry:



Jetson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,220
Location: Vancouver, Canada

12 Apr 2005, 5:47 pm

My voice is all over the place. I'm usually too quiet both on the phone and in person. I tend to get loud when excited about something, but also seem to over-react to ambient noise like in a restaurant. That bugs my bf because then everyone can hear my end of the conversation and he feels uncomfortable. Sometimes he accuses me of getting loud because I want to "show off". Argh!


_________________
What would Flying Spaghetti Monster do?


Sean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,505

13 Apr 2005, 1:06 am

My voice is usually either too loud or too soft. When I happen to go off on a monologue (which seems to be a little less often than alot of people here) or thinking really hard about what I'm saying, my voice becomes loud, extremely low, and even more monotone.



codeman38
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
Location: Georgia, USA

13 Apr 2005, 11:15 am

Jetson wrote:
My voice is all over the place. I'm usually too quiet both on the phone and in person. I tend to get loud when excited about something, but also seem to over-react to ambient noise like in a restaurant. That bugs my bf because then everyone can hear my end of the conversation and he feels uncomfortable. Sometimes he accuses me of getting loud because I want to "show off". Argh!

Yeah, I can associate. It always seems that I'm either way too quiet or way too loud... there's no 'normal' volume.



TB_Samurai
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 380

13 Apr 2005, 7:30 pm

I get loud sometimes without even trying to be loud. My mom tells me to control my voice because it scares the dogs. She does't seem to understand that it's not that easy. I'm usually loud when I'm happy about something, or when I'm angry. But when I'm around a bunch of people that I don't know, I'm quiet and I hardly say anything.



Postperson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2004
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,023
Location: Uz

13 Apr 2005, 8:32 pm

I always get told to 'speak up'. I have a soft mumbly voice, people have trouble hearing me.



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

13 Apr 2005, 10:52 pm

In a earlier post I said that my
employer at the restraunt
has been accomadating my
HFA. Well, the last 3 weeks
on Tuesday to Friday I carry
a sign and use my loud voice to
draw attention to the sandwich
shop during lunchtime. As a bonus,
I am working on eye contact
to make it effective. sometimes
a loud voice can be effective,
though not most of the time.



alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,216
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

14 Apr 2005, 6:19 am

Ghosthunter wrote:
In a earlier post I said that my
employer at the restraunt
has been accomadating my
HFA. Well, the last 3 weeks
on Tuesday to Friday I carry
a sign and use my loud voice to
draw attention to the sandwich
shop during lunchtime. As a bonus,
I am working on eye contact
to make it effective. sometimes
a loud voice can be effective,
though not most of the time.


What is your job at the restauraunt? Do you enjoy your job? How long have you had this job?


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,864
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

27 Apr 2005, 2:23 pm

My voice tends to carry, and I have a hard time talking quietly. I have an even harder time whispering. What drives me nuts is when somebody tells me to keep it down in a condecending manner. I'm afraid to say anything to my mom in the morning, because I hate being told to keep it down like I'm a little child. I'll just keep quiet in the mornings from now on.