how well are you adjusted?

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hi, i like to believe i have adjusted very well in many ways, i can make jokes (more like cleverly repeat a TV quote in the proper situation) and i can talk about things other than my special interest (which took a long time to perfect). i taught myself basic facial expressions from looking in a mirror and watching TV. im a bit over polite and formal, but i dont think anyone minds.

my dad says next to low functioning autism and boys with aspergers, i look normal, i asked him if i looked NT, he said i look almost like a NT boy, but far from looking like an NT girl.

im working on Eye contact, but its difficult and i dont see the point. my dad says to smile more when i talk to people but its tiring

how well have you adjusted and been able to hide your traits?

I can manage basic politeness and respectful behavior, but I can't "improvise" in social situations, or think of anything to say outside of what I've been taught is polite and expected. (Unless people want to hear about my special interests, which 99.9% of the time they don't! Haha)

I can make jokes on the spur of the moment sometimes. My counselor tells me that I'd pass for normal as a professor, but I've never been able to put up with the politics around the truth there. I don't fit into my community very well, but it is quiet and affordable.

I put myself through uni, survived enlistment in the Navy, been married for over 20 years, and have held down the same job for almost 15 years.

No addictions, no prison record, no debt, and my wife loves me.

I'd say that I am reasonably well-adjusted, in spite of everything.

for a learning disable,moderate autism man,I do ok.
but people like me,for some reason.

Some...self-awareness, verbal communication

Well, I guess I would say pretty well adjusted. After all, I am 58 and still on the loose. I have been alone and on my own since I was in my early 20s, I can pay my bills, have worked long term at a couple of different places, 12 and 14 yrs respectively, I own my own place that pretty much keeps out the weather and a couple of vehicles that pretty much get me from here to there and usually back again. Lol.

In some ways I think it also depends on what is meant by well adjusted. I look around at the world as it seems today and I shake my head. There is so much of it that doesn't make sense rationally, I some times feel any one who is well adjusted to the way things are must have serious problems indeed. It is sort of like the old saying: "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!" I would restate it as: "YOu don't have to be crazy to understand the world, but it helps!"

But most of it has not come around to being good until I was able to find out about and start understanding Asperger's. The knowledge that there is most likely a wiring difference inside my brain that has to do with a lot of the things I feel and understand and don't feel and don't understand has been a huge relief to me.

So these days I refer to myself as a mostly happy Apsie and those who have problems with that, well, it is their problem to deal with. I have enough problems just dealing with myself.

I am only 16 so there's more to adjust in my life, but as for now I am like this:
I sometimes use sarcasm (but usually I can't get it when others use it) and I make a lot of puns. I also get most jokes;
People still comment that I use inappropriate facial expressions a lot and I can't understand the majority of people's facial expression/body language;
My gross motor skills and posture have improved a lot lately and my fine motor skills are not as bad as they were when I was a child;
Once I used to never go out with people, now I hang out generally once a month with a friend;
I'm more open to showing my feelings that I was some time ago;
I'm doing average in school;
I do karate.

I think I'm doing ok considering that I am a teen with AS, ADD and anxiety issues.

I can make very basic small talk by keeping up with the news and using what's going on around me to start a conversation. I still have trouble with flow and keeping a conversation going. I don't like to talk about feelings and that can really change my mood in a bad way sop I have to suppress talking about something I feel deeply about, especially when people might say something about it that would anger me.

Eye contact is hard to do. I'm aware I'm not doing it but I can't always force it. On Ritalin I made way too much eye contact but now it's very rare. I hate looking at eyes. They are so intense and it's like I can pick up on feelings people are trying to hide. They can seem happy but their eyes are telling a different story. These feelings are also very distracting when it comes to listening and even explaining things in a lot of detail.

I don't talk about my special interests that much anymore but sometimes I wish I could. Conversations seem so lifeless without talking a little about them. I don't always pick up on body language and sometimes I'm wondering what certain postures mean. Facial expressions may be a bit easier but I still think I'm missing out on stuff.

I seem to be ok with sarcasm and I'm adjusting to unexpected rude language. It's a good thing I'm quick at mimicking speech styles.

I'm able to go to new places if I really plan for it. I still get severe anxiety if I think I'm lost. My routines aren't as set in stone as they once were but I still rely on them to keep functioning throughout the day. I've build up a better theory of mind but find it hard to use in social situations. Things begin to make more sense to me after they happened and I've returned home.

I still haven't got a job but I'm seeking treatment for mood disorder symptoms and hopefully my anxiety can be lessened which might lead to more confidence about working.

I can talk to strangers quite easily too, from shop assistants to people in the street.

People would probably tell me they can't tell I'm autistic, even the family members that knew me as the quiet as a mouse child who never liked being hugged.

I think as a whole I have come a long, long way, and have adjusted well. Most people don't suspect that there's anything abnormal with me; more that perhaps I'm a little kooky, and playfully childish, but this seems to be forgivable.

I too have managed to learn to navigate my way around conversations, though while I am for the most part polite, and told that I can be quite lovely, I have been known to be purposefully blunt, when the occassion calls for it. I feel I do so though, not out of lack of knowing any better, but as a tool to push my point across, when being nice doesn't quite do the trick. This is still a new tactic for me, so I am still working the kinks out of it. Ironically though, most of the time this seems to keep the harmony in conversations, as I find people generally appreciate the truth, and respect you more for standing up for what you believe in, though it's not for everyone. This is of course, reserved more so for family, and friends.

I do still find looking people in the eye hard though; almost painful in some cases, which is odd, as I do not have any social anxieties (save perhaps job interviews, and public speaking, but even NTs may struggle with these).

It varies moment to moment.

Pretty good, a hermit.

I'm hobo material, so hermit is a decent outcome.

I think I have adjusted pretty good. I think almost no one would think I have any form of autism. This partially has to do with the stereotype of austic people: geeky male nerds with bad acne and poor taste in clothing.

I look very feminine and taken care of, I wear fashionable clothes and even though I ocasionally come across as shy, I still manage to talk to people in a 'normal' way. Smalltalk is not hard for me.
I guess all of these things make people percieve me as 'a bit quircky, but normal'.

For the most part I keep to myself. Am I well adjusted? Adjusted to what, the abomination which is "modern culture"? No, and I'm glad I'm not.

OP: While it's good that you're learning to adjust yourself to the NT world and you should be proud of your accomplishments, please make sure you are not pushing yourself too hard or making yourself stressed out. Please pace yourself and don't push yourself into anything you don't feel comfortable with. It would also be a good idea to learn some self-advocacy skills so you'll know how to navigate situations where people don't understand you or when you find something too difficult.

I decided to learn neurotypical ways during my teen and early young adult years, and sometimes, it was a struggle as a lot of it involved trial and error, or learning what to do and what not to do. I have lost friendships and connections with others through this process over mistakes I had made, but now have some quality friendships that are understanding and supportive.

I am at the point where I can blend into NT society now to the point where most people I've met don't notice anything different, but I would stress that it took a lot of work to get to that point and I don't endorse or recommend it for everyone. I still have anxiety at times over social situations and often have a fear of "screwing up" and of rejection by others. I also have to meditate daily and use cognitive behavioral techniques to "unlearn" all of the negative thinking patterns that I project upon myself every day. In short, while this process was worth it for myself, you need to be the judge as to whether you think adapting to the world in this way is a good fit for you.

Also, for those of you who find it harder to adjust to the NT world than others and have struggled with doing so, it would be better to stop at this point and learn some other techniques for adapting to NT society without changing who you are. I highly recommend that everyone on the spectrum learn self-advocacy skills, as it helps you adapt to situations without trying to expend effort on things that may be unnatural for you.