Hale_Bopp's "tear apart my okcupid profile" thread

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This is where you post your ok cupid profile, and me and anyone else who wants to can tell you what's wrong with it and what may be putting people off.

To make this fair game, I'll start with posting mine.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/glitter-sparkle

Let's get this ball rolling.

you a pretty lady,you seem ok. your no different from alot of ladies.
good luck to you.

Nice profile, H_B!

I got rid of my OKCupid profile 2 years ago.

Your profile looks good to me, and might I add you're really pretty.

I deactivated my OKC almost a year ago. I hope I won't feel the need to use it again anytime soon. : )

It sounds great - if I were a guy, I'd want to meet you!

And it's true, you are beautiful!

my profile http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Keithf90 - note: I have found I get exponentially more interest the less information about myself I have... which is a bad sign. If some people will pm me and agree to look at my profile I will change it or create an alternate to field test it.

The first thing I notice on your profile is the "message me" section.

"You have been taught manners, ... I can't stand uncouth people."

this is rude, it will not dissuade actual rude an uncouth people who dont read your profile anyways and it will be insulting to the people you are looking to attract. your "personality profile" also lists you as highly spiritual. This isn't a problem, but your target audience might be! Make sure to sign up for faith based dating sites if moral code is among your top priorities. A dorm-mate of mine met his wife on a christian dating site (much to the teasing of the rest of us at the time).

There is a huge impenetrable comma delineated list of words that I'm not going to get into. I'm glad there are lots of things you like but as a guy how do I start a conversation about "learning?" for example. Now, if you like taking classes outside your degree such as a philosophy or ethics class, I can start up a convo about ethics as that is more specific and identifiable.

What is your profile? your profile is information, but it is also fodder. Each statement should create interest and/or invite the reader to message you. I want you to go through your profile and try and flirt with yourself. Think about how you would introduce yourself while creating interest with each bit of info. If you, or a reviewer cant flirt with you using that info than it can be pared down a bit.

In other places you use blanket generalizations that are no better than "stuff." This has the same problem as before.

Profile pictures: hot damn don't ever deceive yourself into thinking you are anything but beautiful! BUT! you have to many pictures under "profile pictures." create an album for all but three or remove the extras altogether. the photo section of the site has a "rate my picture / best face" function that will help you choose. http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface

I'm also not sure I like "glitter-sparkle" for the profile of (I assume) a social conservative. I'm bad at profile names so I can't really help but I feel it sends the wrong message.

quick glance at the questions revealed this:
Are some human lives worth more than others?

EDIT: get a second opinion here. An image of glitter-sparkle Yes People who are cruel to people who cannot defend themselves, or animals, I would not bat an eyelid if they died.

This is scary. you cant wish death on people in your profile. however if you get rid of the last clause it is perfectly fine.

MESSAGE PEOPLE FIRST! Idk if you already do this but you are a girl, you will get almost 100% response rate! (possibly?) statistically girl's messages get responded to most of the time.

if you have spare time brows through this: http://blog.okcupid.com/
oktrends is awesome

Last edited by buffinator on 01 Jan 2014, 1:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

not bad...don't see many beautiful women into Zelda who make replicas of Majora's Mask ( BTW, I just got the game's OST as my Platinum Reward from Club Nintendo! ). You're definitely my type

mine is http://okcupid.com/profile/LotsaLoveToGive yeah, it's a cheesy username but it sounded better than my previous one EarthBound_fan which felt too geeky for most women to respond to....

Last edited by newageretrohippie on 02 Jan 2014, 4:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

for future referance, you post your username thusly:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/***

replacing *** with the username, i.e.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LotsaLoveToGive

I actually think your profile is pretty good (though I'm a dude so what do I know). I do know that girls want at least three pictures so you should have a separate album which has a clear facing shot of your face and one other. Your profile picture is good, I think except that it doesn't show off your face.

the profile name may be a bit much: see http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts248522-start15.html

Also if I am going overboard please let me know. When I ask for advice I normally look for very technical, extensive answers and so those are the kind I am wont to give.

Alright, I'm game. Keep it friendly, heh.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/UnthwartedHeart

You come across as very approachable and likable hale_bopp.
I have never used okcupid. Have you found it a good option for getting to know people?
onewithstrange you sound funny and intelligent. I wonder Whether the blinker indicator light in the dashboard of my vehicle is synchronized with the actual blinker. aswell

I took the uncouth thing out, you're right, it wouldn't deter slobs and morons.

As for my target audience, personally I am not looking to attract people who are not agnostic or spiritual, so I don't see how that would be an issue. The last person I want to date is someone Christian.

I don't think you can change that graph thing on your profile, either.

I deleted all those questions. I don't think I'll bother with them anymore.

Also what do you mean by "a social conservative"? That isn't me at all :/ If my profile is giving off wrong messages there is no way I will find what I want. The last thing I want is some religious conservative pissing me off :/

Criminy, that is a nice profile. I could see how a few guys would feel threatened (e.g. how is your knowledge on quantum entanglement?) or leery (e.g. cats). I presume you don't have an issue with men seeking you out.

The use of the word "uncouth" has overly religious overtones, combined with the "spiritual" rating I interpreted as being religious. please do not make decisions that could take significant time to walk back from just my input. Wait until you get multiple perspectives first. My opinion is not perfect, but I usually voice it anyways and let the other person decide.

I also think you need to describe exactly what your problem is that you are looking to fix. are you having trouble with quality of matches / quantity / etc etc.
Understand that there are just creepers. They are going to message you and you cannot scare them off.

Deleting the spirituality questions may not work in your favor because now it will match you with people who are less spiritual. I'm very sorry for my misunderstanding.

The quiz questions are actually fairly important because they help determine the personality of matches. changing 50 questions can change matches by quite a lot! For example, I think I would do very well with a gamer girl or someone who is nerdy, but because I have fewish questions I get a lot of people who are not compatible with me in the results (also nerdy girls are in high demand and get scooped up quickly here). this is because my "nerdy" trait isn't high enough and really I need to do more questions. I believe there are a total of 1255 max that you are allowed to do. I may have hit that cap when I first set up my profile. I recommend 250ish and then do 5 more every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning to get more page-views. I would recommend against editing your responses for a specific result, be natural in answering. Avoid sex questions unless you are looking for a fetish or hookups. having "less sex drive is a turn off and having "more sex drive" can attract creepers or hookup artists.

I also didn't get any responses to any of my messages for months. My current profile is set up according to the rules of "bromantics" i.e. fishing for casual hookups. I don't want hookups, really. But the entire point of the bromantic technique is to get maximum responses and in their case to search for those seeking a hookup, and in my case is to seek for someone seeking a 3ds friend code. (slight exaggeration). I'm now getting lots of responses from lots of people but the longer message chains are still ending when I try to move them IRL and I have actually missed social hints from others. So I'm no expert on profiles. I was just giving impression (while mildly intoxicated mind you).

I have been only slightly effective at the whole online dating thing, so take my opinions with a grain of salt.

Also, different sites are better for different regions. I was looking for the okcupid population in aus but instead I found this
http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/te ... trial/1405
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/online ... ng-people/

What is exactly your problem there? Not getting messages? Not getting wanted messages? Or what?

Constructive criticism coming right up...

First off, I found it a little odd to read the very first line as "I enjoy internet marketing, it's a huge hobby of mine. I really enjoy reading about ways one can make money." instead of some sort of introduction, like "Hi, my name is ____ and I'm from ____. I'm x# years old, educated, active, and passionate about _____."

It was a bit interesting to read about your variety of interests, however I'd recommend shortening the list to maybe the top 5 & then a simple statement that you have many other interests and maybe if you get to know each other you'll find out more about them. Less is more. It gives a little mystery/suspense that makes people want to message, chat, talk on the phone, or see you in person to find out more about you and if your interests are a match to theirs. Listing a whole massive variety of interests as you have does a few things... it makes you seem like a bit of an unfocused nerd of all things nerdy, a stereotypical Aspie. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the first impression I got from reading it and I'm giving you my brutally honest feedback. This will probably deter many guys, especially NT guys, and looks like a massive magnet to attract an Aspie guy. Nothing wrong with that if that's what your objective is.. but just look at the responses in this thread, your profile screams Aspie & attracts Aspies. Again, just calling it like I see it because sugar coating it won't point these things out to you so you can be aware of it if you aren't.

Under "what I'm doing with my life," the trying to be awesome bit is OK, but really.. I'd expect to see a bit of a more substantial answer. ie what one passion you're working on, or a career/educational goal. whatever your "why," is - your reason for getting up and doing whatever it is you do every day. If you don't have a reason or long term goals, perhaps it's time to think about those things. Trying to be awesome is an acceptable response when you're younger, still a student, figuring the world out.. but by 28 you should know you're awesome already & be working on something of a more substantial life purpose. People want to see that others have dreams and goals they're working on, as passion & purpose are attractive.

The "I spend a lot of time thinking about," section also screams Aspie. Consciousness, the universe, crafts & cats.. stereotypical Aspie. This definitely will be a turnoff to many & likely attract Aspie guys. There's nothing inherently bad about thinking about any of these things.. its just that the variety & level of geek required to spend a lot of time thinking about these things will make you seem like a bit of an add spaced out geek. Just sayin'. I don't mean to come across as rude, this is just the impression I get and the feedback I'm offering.

Under the "I'm looking for," section - is that your list or one generated from a form you selected those items on? If you're able to type in this section, I'd recommend adding a bit more about what type of guy you're looking for. ie Physical characteristics, education/occupation, interests, personality traits etc so that guys have a bit better idea of whether or not they're anything remotely like the type of guy you could see yourself dating.

@HB: The profile is short, sweet, upbeat, and to the point. I can't really see any improvements to be made.