Outing Aspies

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What's your opinion on people who out Aspies? I personally think it's a horrible thing to do.

I have outed 3 or 4 aspies so to speak on the teen help and advice forum i am on.
they would list out a bunch of stuff that was totally AS and i would tell them
they sounded AS to me, and then they would tell me they had an AS dx. But
at the same time someone new just posted she was AS, and I told her there
were a few other on the forum, but I did not name them, because i felt that
was up to them to identify themselves as AS in that thread.
But... if someone had posted "Ezra is autistic" that would not have bothered me.

I think that outing aspies is deeply wrong and will harm the aspie community.

I have no idea what exactly EzraS means by outing teenaged aspies on a forum, if he has outed them in real life then shame on him. If he has only outed a pen name which can not be connected with a real living person then it is still morally questionable but not as bad. My advice to EzraS is do not rush into doing something which you may regret later in life when you are more mature.

I know that the US army tell people going into war not to do things like kill animals for fun as a way of letting off steam. It happened in Vietnam sometimes that GIs should shoot or otherwise kill farm animals which belonged to the Viet Cong (or some unlucky member of the public who they thought was one of the Viet Cong). The advice I have seen in combat stress manuals aimed at officers is to tell the men not to do this sort of thing, one thing the men are told is "do not do it, you will regret it in later life".

In the same way someone might feel macho hiding behind a computer screen outting some aspie in such a way that has real life adverse effects on them (or just distresses them), later on when they are wiser they will look back and see the error of their ways. But sadly then they will not be able to make it right, nor will they have any way of being able to find the person they wronged to say sorry to them. So my advice is do not harm others, harming others for the simple joy of doing it is morally corrosive and will eat into you and cause you great distress later.

These were threads with titles like: "what is wrong with me?" and then the person
would list out a bunch of behaviors they have. Then I would tell them that I had the same
problems and that for me it is because of autism. I mean, if you as a young teen had AS and
did not know it, wouldn't you want someone with ASD to clue you in on it? But I guess saying
I outed them was not really correct. I just mentioned AS and then they would reply they had an
AS dx. Which is a lot better i think than NT kids telling them things like they are sociopaths.
For the record I have a reputation of being very mature for my age and was voted an
award based on the advice i give plus I have earned several thousand positive reputation points
for the type of advice and answers i give.

Last edited by EzraS on 05 Jan 2014, 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think it is awful.
I made the few people IRL I told I have AS to swear that they wouldn't have told anyone about it. If they ever did, it's better for them that I don't find it out.
When I was 14 my mother told some nurses and a doctor at the hospital that I had Asperger's. It was awful because they treated me like a 5-year-old then but it was not that terrible because I would have never seen them again. I told my mother not to tell random people about it anymore and she never did again.

In my case they either know I am autistic or they automatically conclude that I
am mentally ret*d. Unfortunately to a lot of ppl there isn't any difference.
But I am getting tired of being treated like I was little still. Even my friend and my cousin
my age overdo it these days.

Hello,

NT here.

To give a reason for my vote of "No - it's not OK".

It's an infringement of somebodies personal rights. They have a right to "out" themselves on whatever they choose whenever they choose.

People who 'out' other people in my experience follow an agenda of their own (it might be the subjectively percieved 'good' of a person or community or it might be spite, self-righteousness, a sense of 'moral obligation' e.g. I'm better than you are because I came out etc.).

And, no - people on the spectrum, at least those I know personally, aren' t that much different from NT's in that respect, they only put different labels on their actions or rationalize them differently.

Greetings

Ennik

(PS what was the name of that software programme in Douglas Adams that came out with reasons why?)

^^Hello again NT

I agree with you. It is tantamount to bullying.

Of course it is wrong. It would be like, I don't know, outing someone as a homosexual : even if I don't see any problem with homosexuality (hell, I'm a bit a bisexual myself), the reason that person is not saying it is probably that some people environment would harm or discriminate him. If you think someone is an aspie (or a homosexual, or anything not fully accepted by the local socio-cultural norms) talk to them in private if you want but let them manage their own public image.

If someone on a forum is spilling his life out and asking what his wrong with him, it is totally different: the person is publicly asking for your opinion. Obviously you are entitled to give it. Even if he does not like your answer, you didn't do anything ethically questionable.

I'll join the chorus of "no, it's not OK". I was going to make the same comparison ouroborosUK did, and discussing it in private is indeed much preferrable.

I don't know if it's exactly tantamount to bullying (depends on how it's done, I guess) but it could definitely expose the target to bullying, maybe worse. Not cool.

I voted 'No' because no one can really know if another person has AS from just a few posts on a website. In my opinion, 'outing' a stranger as an Aspie would be like 'outing' stranger as gay -- no one here can possibly know with absolute certainty what another person's "inner world" is like and make a valid diagnosis of whether or not that other person has AS/ASD.

Personal note: An elder at a church that I used to go to started the rumor that I am mentally ill because I interpreted a Bible passage in a way that he could not accept; a former co-worker started the rumor that I have a criminal record because I would not make eye contact with him or talk about my past; and a former neighbor started the rumor that I am a stoner and a junkie because of my "spaced-out" facial expression.

All of these 'outings' were committed by people who thought that they knew all they needed to know to make the appropriate 'diagnosis', and every one of them was wrong.

Even if each person was an appropriately-trained professional (which none of them were), 'outing' someone the way they did was unethical, in that it violated the confidence that they should have exercised as professionals.

Well EzraS , to me what you have been doing does not sound like outing people. So you can breathe easy again without having to worry that you have been a bad person. However I still strongly hold the view that outing aspies (and most gays) is deeply wrong. For gays I would make an exception if it is a gay person who is a homophobe who is doing bad things to other gays. For example if a homophobic policeman who likes hunting gay men turns out to be a gay man, then I would have not a jot of sympathy if he got outed.

I have heard of reserach done in which it was found that men who do gay bashing (homophobic violence) tend to be latent or closet homosexuals.

Wow, I guess I'm the only one who clicked yes on the poll. I just don't see what the big deal is. I've told a few people that I think they're an aspie. I don't get why that's a bad thing.

I was not getting what was being said about outing right at all.
I was thinking along the lines of helping someone talk openly
about their problem in the advice sections. That includes gay kids too.
a lot if new ppl hold back and they don't have to there. I'm also bisexual
and have a bf and that is something I prefer to keep a secret irl.

It all depends on what you mean by "outing."

If "outing" means talking to someone privately to try to help them, then that is a wonderful thing to do, and I think that is what EzraS has been describing.

If "outing" means starting a rumor, then that is a triple evil because #1 it is invading someone's privacy, #2 it implies that autism is "bad," and #3 it is playing God by making a "diagnosis.

Wow, I guess I'm the only one who clicked yes on the poll. I just don't see what the big deal is. I've told a few people that I think they're an aspie. I don't get why that's a bad thing.