Being Objectively Critical to Bad Writer

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I have a friend who is a very sweet and kind person, and also possibly the worst writer I've ever met. This normally wouldn't be much of a problem, as I don't usually judge people on this merit, but she enthusiastically talks about her, "novel," and encourages feedback. I don't know what to say without sounding incredibly mean and harsh.

Virtually every sentence is run on, unedited garbage, and one-dimensional characters that repeat themselves over and over, and only talk about exactly what they're doing at the moment. The protagonist is always flawless, and the antagonists seem to be motivated by nothing other than a desire to do harm. The plot is well underway by page five, and there is no logic to anything.

Once she was paying particular attention to her cell phone, and when asked what she was looking at, said she was writing part of her novel. On a cell phone. At a party. High.

I don't claim to be any great writer, though I do so as a hobby and she wants my opinion because she knows that. What do I say to someone who does everything wrong? Who introduces herself as a writer, and brings it up at every opportunity, but lacks the basic fundamentals of the craft. In the past, people have taken my constructive criticism extremely negatively, and I worry the Aspie stuff blinds me to how I'm coming off. I want to stress that she is nice to a clinical degree, and is otherwise surrounded by a hyper-supportive peer group. In other words, she's emotionally fragile. ...But there's no salvaging any of it. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Anyone have any advice as to how I should approach this?

find something, anything good about her novel and say that. she will hear the rest soon enough.

I have tried, and she presses me to talk about what I like. Nobody she hangs out with would ever say anything bad about anyone who makes an attempt, regardless of how poor that attempt is. Such behavior is noble, but impractical. Just finding nice things to say doesn't really help her, and I'd rather she hear it from a friend than someone who may be intentionally cruel.

Dude, I think your relationship sucks. If you can't be honest you're not really her friend. My friends have been brutally honest about my writing, They have told me straight up they think my writing is "s**t" thank god for that, how else would I know?
I wrote to a semi friend a theory about gravity, and he told me the only part he liked about it. Which was the part where I said the theory was wrong. Looking back on it the writing was bogus. If he just told me that, yes I would get teary eyed, and upset. But damn at least I know what he really thought.

If I were her friend I would say this.
Look I like you, LET ME STRESS THIS you I like. But everything I have ever read from you sucks ass, terrible just the worst everything sucks about your writings, there is nothing good about it other than the fact that it is written in a language where people can read it, and things are spelled right.

If she cries tell her to grow up.

If she threatens suicide tell her not to write a note.

Depending on how attached she is to her writing you may cease to be friends. Who wants to be friends with someone who can't take criticism anyway?

Beats making an ass of herself in front of a publisher.

Last edited by wcoltd on 06 Jan 2014, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Would she rather hear the bad news from a friend (you) and then learn and correct the problems, or would she rather hear it from an editor that will never look at her stuff again?

The trouble is, a lot of times 'writers' aren't just interested in their art. They write and imagine themselves getting published and becoming a professional, getting paid to write for fans and escaping their mundane 9 to 5 lives. So telling someone like this that she'll never make it big is like telling her her dream is dead and she won't amount to anything more in her life.

But you still have to tell her, because someone has to. Make a lunch date or something with her and tell her beforehand you're going to be completely and totally honest with her about her work , if it's what she really wants. Emphasize that this is strictly YOUR opinion, not anyone else's. She'll be disappointed and upset, no way around it, but in time she'll be glad you told her.

I don't think you should tell her how bad it is. I would find something you like about it and maybe say some things that would make it 'even better'. If you tell it like it is you WILL upset your friend and I don't think you need to be the one to give that message and risk losing them as a friend.
And who knows maybe other people will like it? There are some awful novels that are very popular.

For some context, I am a 31 year old male, and she is a 27 year old female. Sacrip makes a good point with,

It isn't something she enjoys doing, but rather where she finds her worth in life. She doesn't have much, lives in a tiny apartment, doesn't drive, and has a number of health problems. If she hears it from me, it could damage the dynamic of our friendship, and I don't have a lot of friends to spare. Hearing it from an editor (and all writers hear it from an editor at some point) might be more practical, as it is more of a legitimate wake up call. She may presume I am jealous of her or something. Still, as her friend, I should be the one to tell her.

Social interactions are difficult. Sigh.

Encourage her to blog online in story format, to join a writers forum where she can post, to join other special interest forums that she can relate to that have "off topic" areas which support artists and post short stories there. It might help and it might not

Others who perceive themselves to be experienced writers will be more critical of her than others, in some cases because they have something to offer, and in other cases because they have a need to "prove" their level of "professionalism"

and also, keep in mind that someone else might find her writing exciting. There are some novels that I find to be utter $41+ that others have praised highly.

Even with other avenues, she might get honest feedback and she might not.

I have tried to get objective feedback on my writing for months without much success. I have been complimented and encouraged as to the story content of the true story of my Bonnie, but I haven't found anywhere to provide constructive criticism. And since I truly enjoy writing, I would like to get better at it.

And if you don't like reading it, but don't want to offend her, perhaps consider telling her that her genre is not your preference of reading, etc. so you wouldn't be a good critique.

Just some ideas.

Hmm, thanks for the advice. I'll try suggesting some online writer's resources for her, and pass the buck, so to speak, to them.