I feel like I'm a forever alone and I don't want to be one.

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UncannyViper
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10 Jan 2014, 5:08 pm

I'm 19 and have Asperger's and I've never had a girlfriend and whenever I ask for help on this matter I either get shrugged off or I get told "There is a girl out there somewhere you just have to wait". The problem is that I'm tired of waiting, I need help with where I can meet potential girlfriends. I've tried online dating but there never any nice girls in my area so that's a no go so what places can I go to and just start talking to girls there and try to get a girlfriend?
If anyone can provide help for this it would be most appreciated.



redrobin62
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10 Jan 2014, 5:30 pm

<--- Doesn't want to be alone either but it seems like it's doomed to happen anyway.



UncannyViper
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10 Jan 2014, 5:35 pm

Honestly I feel like the world just hates people with a form of mental disability. If this keeps up I might just approach every girl I find (In a non creepy way) and strike up conversation. I've gotta get success eventually right?



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10 Jan 2014, 5:47 pm

The worst advice I ever got was to "just wait". For some people it works, but for most of us who have issues socializing, it requires a continued, conscious effort to meet people and find someone.



UncannyViper
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10 Jan 2014, 5:52 pm

I actually detest the "just wait" thing I feel if I follow that advice I'll end up in my grave without a date. Maybe my main problem in the past with rejection is the fact that due to Asperger's I always end up in awkward silence when talking to girls, like its not my fault my main hobby is gaming and I don't think discussing games is a turn on.



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10 Jan 2014, 6:45 pm

Do you work? If not could you volunteer somewhere? Even if there is no-one there who would be a potential girlfriend it is a good way to widen your social circle and lead to you meeting more people.
Are there any social groups in your area? I know where I live there is a social group for young adults with aspergers. Or you could take up a hobby as that would b a good way of meeting people with similar interests and give you something to talk about.
I definitely think just waiting is a bad idea - you need to get out there and meet regularly with the same people. It's very rare for a friendship or relationship to come from a one off conversation.



muslimmetalhead
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10 Jan 2014, 6:47 pm

UncannyViper wrote:
I actually detest the "just wait" thing I feel if I follow that advice I'll end up in my grave without a date. Maybe my main problem in the past with rejection is the fact that due to Asperger's I always end up in awkward silence when talking to girls, like its not my fault my main hobby is gaming and I don't think discussing games is a turn on.


Lol its not your fault for what has happened to you, but you sure can get another hobby or become more well-rounded or educated


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UncannyViper
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10 Jan 2014, 7:00 pm

Rabbers wrote:
Do you work? If not could you volunteer somewhere? Even if there is no-one there who would be a potential girlfriend it is a good way to widen your social circle and lead to you meeting more people.
Are there any social groups in your area? I know where I live there is a social group for young adults with aspergers. Or you could take up a hobby as that would b a good way of meeting people with similar interests and give you something to talk about.
I definitely think just waiting is a bad idea - you need to get out there and meet regularly with the same people. It's very rare for a friendship or relationship to come from a one off conversation.

I don't work for obvious reasons. Most employers won't take me on and trust me I've applied for hundreds of jobs. I defnitally need to take up a new hobby though as there isn't many girls where I live who are passionate about games, well ones that are single that is. Also I've sent the only person on okcupid who is in my area and has pretty much the same interests a message hopefully that goes somewhere.



TheWadeSmellbringer
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10 Jan 2014, 7:47 pm

I'm 17 and feel the same man it sucks.


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appletheclown
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10 Jan 2014, 8:06 pm

Try volunteering at a reputable business for the purpose of experience. It shows employers nothing is holding you back from contributing. They like it a lot. If I applied to hundreds of jobs I might already have one. But I'm learning trade skills first.


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10 Jan 2014, 8:44 pm

I can give you all kinds of bad advice about how to get yourself in a bad relationship with a girl you will never like. for instance. just go to your local shelter, or perhaps a prison, detox, or suicide center. finding a horrible girlfriend is easy. you just need to be a little creative. hope this helps.
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10 Jan 2014, 8:46 pm

I was in a relationship for a week (my first one), and it has only emboldened me to find love. Try volunteering for an organization that helps people, that may help. :D


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11 Jan 2014, 12:40 am

Try meetup.com I've found some good groups to meet people in on there haven't had a chance to act on it but I plan to


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11 Jan 2014, 1:29 am

Hey man I'm in the exact same boat at age 22. It's just so hard to find a place where it is approachable to just go right up to a girl and talk to them. I'm out of college, so I don't know either man. Then that's only half of the battle, as it's even harder to talk to the girl and get her.

Rejection sucks, I know man but I know there are girls out there into gaming. I guess the only thing I can think of is like a gaming convention or something. I'm not sure if there are any near where you live, but just find something that exemplifies your biggest interest or take up some new ones (if your able to)

I hope someday us both, as well as anyone else on here, will have success. Good Luck



newageretrohippie
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11 Jan 2014, 1:41 am

32 and only ever known loneliness and rejection :(


I'm just about ready to accept my fate and simply wait in the hope that my best friend will give me a chance. I'll be pining for her until the day I die anyways so why not....


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KingofKaboom
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11 Jan 2014, 1:42 am

You're 19, you aren't forever alone no one is. Do your best to make friends focus on finding hobbies that involve socializing things you like to do. You WILL meet women by these means. It's slower and not as fast as anyone likes but it's certainly effective.


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