Hi from Italy

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 32 years old from Italy.
2 years ago, I downloaded a torrent with hundreds of books, I opened one of them and find out it was about Asperger, but I didn't know what Asperger was. After reading a few pages I understood the truth that I couldn't grasp in all my life, why I was so different. I have always thought of myself like a clock or some other mechanical machines who was defective, who lacked some cogs and cannot function properly like all the other clocks in the world.

But after this discovery my life didn't change so much. I was in a relationship with a woman, the only relationship I ever had, and when I tried to speak to her about it she dismissed the topic saying I was only a shy and introverted person, that I was "normal". but I knew it was true.

The last year my life changed, I returned home with my parents and ended the relationship. she was a woman who I never really loved, it happened that she was the only one who accepted me, who liked me, and when I left my home city to go with her I hoped to became more normal, having a girlfriend, having a sexual life, starting to find a job that didn't require any social skill... but after 6 years I returned home. I desired to live a real love, to be with someone who I really care, to be independent...

Some months ago, I fell in love with a woman, the most interesting and desirable woman I can think of, but she didn't like me at all, or at least she was not interested in me. And I did with her almost all the communication errors that is possible to do, I crashed and crashed my head into the aspergian wall.
After we met, and the meeting was horrible (it was in a theatre and in a restaurant with some of her friends, one of the worst possible social situations for me), I tried to explain my behavior telling her that I have Asperger, and linking a YouTube video to let her understand what is.
After some time she replied "I’ve read some description of Asperger people after you mention it, and it's like a picture of you".
I was relieved, she understood me. Even if she didn't like me, she saw what I was, something my ex-girlfriend never did.
But this was not enough to build a relationship of any kind, I did too many errors with her, and she had too many problems in her own life to have the time, energy and interest to find a good way to communicate with me.

So now I know that I have to face Asperger, or live in full solitude for the rest of my life.
My life was a sad and empty one. Empty of emotions, of events, of people, of everything. Because I was too afraid to exit my little room with my computer. I write articles and books, I learn some money doing internet marketing, and my only social interaction are online, and even those are very few.
I'm a lone guy, and I'm use to solitude. But to pull out something from life I need to be able to fight some of my fears and my weak points. I have to find a way to find a proper use for this unusual brain that I have. So I was doing some search on google on Asperger and I found this forum, and here I am.

Excuse me if my English is not the best of the best, I perfectly understand it, but I'm not used to speak or write in English.

Welcome!

Welcome aboard

Sorry to hear that you're having some trouble in paradise. Don't give up, love is worth trying for again.

I had the same problem when I told my sister I suspected I had Aspergers. Regardless of the fact that she has known me her whole life, she accused me of being a hypercondriac. I believe the reason for this is that I've spent years trying to hide my 'oddness', I think that it actually worked a bit too well. That, and she is a bit self-involved as a person. Anyway, I've arranged for a formal diagnoses. I am already certain I have Aspergers, but it will bring me peace of mind, and convince her that I'm on the level.

Welcome. I read what you wrote. The only friendly advice I can think of is to just keep expressing your feelings to others because someday, someone will have some excellent advice for you. Also, expressing yourself can relieve tension. Finally, maybe most importantly, continue to be patient. . I'm new here, too...and new to Asperger's. You will probably find many friendly people on this website.

Hi Max,

lots of us here understand what it is like to find out you have Aspergers at your age (or older). It takes a bit of getting used to, but reading about it helps. I also found it very useful to read the forums and talk to other people here, to help make sense of things.

Relationships are definitely possible with Aspergers, you just need to find someone who is understanding.

Friendships also take work. I find it tempting to stay at home, but I try to make the effort to go out sometimes. Is there an Aspergers support group in your area? I found that helpful, as people there understand how hard it is to socialise. Otherwise try to find a small group with the same interests as you, which would give you something to talk about.

Buona fortuna. Sto imparando la tua linga, ma sono troppo pigra di provare a scrivere tutto in italiano.

Benvenuto a Wrong Planet.

thanks to all kind replies

Hi Max,
Buona fortuna. Sto imparando la tua linga, ma sono troppo pigra di provare a scrivere tutto in italiano.

Benvenuto a Wrong Planet.

Ciao Max,

grazie per le correzione.

Ma penso che l'italiano non é una lingua maladetta - l'inglese é peggiore, sono sicuro.

Perché l'italiano? Non so, é difficile di spiegare, ma quando sono stata in Italia, mi sento a casa. Tutti erano così cordiale, e perdonare miei errori. É sembra era se non ho avuto l'Aspergers, però tutti le mie difficoltà erano dovute alla lingua.

Forsé cercerá amiche esterno - gli stranieri sono autorizzati ad essere un po' diverso.

Hi Max_Italian,
Welcome to WP

Welcome