I don't understand. Thoughts?

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Hello guys,

I don't normally associate my downfalls with aspergers, but I was wondering if there was any common themes in what I have just witnessed over the past few days.

Basically, I got a message from a girl via Zoozk. I was feeling pretty confident and happy in myself at the time, this was just after New Year. So I began to engage in conversation in her, and we both spoke well and bonds started to develop. I found a lot in common with her and our mutual interests highlighted how well we got on with each other. I started to text her mainly after that and everything followed suit. After about 7/8 days of chatting we eventually decided to meet up. Just like via text and messaging, I thought things went well and she didn't show any signs she wasn't interested in me. We spent the whole night out together in town. I really enjoyed the night.

I woke up the next day feeling rather joyous and happy, it's been 3 years since I've ever been through such emotions so I sent her a nice text asking how she was. Given time, she'd normally text back fast. But she didn't and I went through the emotions, I cried because I knew something was wrong and she wouldn't tell me. I'm insecure and not confident in myself as it is and the curiosity and uncertainity made me flip. I didn't do anything silly, I just left her to ponder over that one text. It's been two days now and I'm ready to move on, I still feel bad don't get me wrong, but I can't even rationalise what the hell happened? She just changed her mind? I have no idea she won't even tell me.

It seems that when I meet up with people in the flesh things tend to go downhill after that but nobody will be blunt with me to help me improve. So I'm stuck here thinking if she is not the one who is and what the hell happened. It hurts down to the bone, it really does. If there's anything significant that I can tell it's that she has been out of a 2 year relationship for 2 months but even then I don't think it's that..

thoughts? :/

Have you seen the movie Don Jon? Gives me hope.

Just have to look at what happened and try to answer it yourself. Sadly people think they are being nice not telling us but then maybe it's for the best who knows.

I can't find answers for my first ex. I think this is the most confusing situation.

I can't find answers for lots of things. Sometimes it's just better to accept you won't ever know. Not the best feeling but that's how it is sometimes.

Would you consider sending one more text? It is possible she never got the one you sent. Maybe send the same thing again.

Also, on dating sites you have to consider that she may be in various stages of relationships with multiple people, so even if she likes you she may have determined you were not as great a fit as another person. it doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that there is something wrong with you. Sometimes these things just happen.

So she didn't respond to your text...?...it is possible she didn't get it and a lot of girls don't want to be the aggressive one to just contact you after meeting in person. And I can relate to feeling frustrated and lost with the...what the heck did I do wrong...?....I'm typically left to figure it out on my own, with minimal success...but one of my friends asked a guy who rejected her after they met in person. So I guess he told her she was not attractive at all and that her body was like a boy's. Needless to say, she was sort of happier not knowing. With that being said. You could text or email her and kindly ask if she would mind saying what went wrong. That is IF she is no longer interested. While it seems that is what's going on...a 2nd text or an email saying you had a good time and would like to see her again but understand if she doesn't feel te same way...that should get a polite reply to clarify whether or not she is interested.

I wouldn't ask what went wrong. Nor would I assume she didn't get the text. Leave her be. Don't become a stalker.

Two texts does not a stalker make. Even if she's not interested (likely, sorry man), it will give him some closure on her.

And if she ignores the second text?

Then he knows for sure he's SOL. It's too much riding on a single attempt right now.

I agree that if you are perturbed, you could send a second text.

I once sent a guy a text, never got an answer, everyone said to let it go, that he was obviously not interested; and then after a month I got the text returned, and it hadn't been sent.

I then went up to him and he said he was gutted that I had never got back in touch.

So as you see, anything is possible. It's just as humans we will always think the worse to protect ourselves. The fight or flight response. Our brains haven't gone through evolution trying to be happy, but trying to survive.

I agree that if you are perturbed, you could send a second text.

I once sent a guy a text, never got an answer, everyone said to let it go, that he was obviously not interested; and then after a month I got the text returned, and it hadn't been sent.

I then went up to him and he said he was gutted that I had never got back in touch.

So as you see, anything is possible. It's just as humans we will always think the worse to protect ourselves. The fight or flight response. Our brains haven't gone through evolution trying to be happy, but trying to survive.

I agree that if you are perturbed, you could send a second text.

I once sent a guy a text, never got an answer, everyone said to let it go, that he was obviously not interested; and then after a month I got the text returned, and it hadn't been sent.

I then went up to him and he said he was gutted that I had never got back in touch.

So as you see, anything is possible. It's just as humans we will always think the worse to protect ourselves. The fight or flight response. Our brains haven't gone through evolution trying to be happy, but trying to survive.

I didn't send her a second text. But I Facebook messaged her so I could tell if she read it or not. Which she did and no reply. If she wants to contact me she can text me. What I can also say is that when she said she came out of a two year relationship she said that her boyfriend just sent a text and that was it. I could of been victim of a rebound... Someone else told me she was just looking for casual sex and because I didn't make a move on her she kinda figured as I've been looking for a relationship. Who knows, but after two days of thought, she is clearly not the one or meant to be, you don't treat a guy like that and you don't lie to him neither. I'm going to have to be extra careful when I use dating sites in future. I've noticed my past few dates have ended in this kind of fashion. I think people are looking for casual dates and not relationships like I. I'm definitely not the dater type.

Sorry it posted my message thrice. It said it hadn't so I insisted but then got a message saying WP was down.