I need advice on this issue...and fast...

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I am an asexual androgynous/genderqueer aspie who fortunately is well-liked in my school because it's an all-girls high school and androgynous, outlandish people are generally welcomed as...surrogate guys?

I have an acquaintance at school...don't have a lot of real friends...and she's, well, made it clear to me in a post that she likes me in a romantic way. I never suspected anything when she over-shared whenever we talk, because I thought that was how people generally are, but started to have a hunch when we talked about sexual orientation and she asked me to guess her orientation. I've come out as asexual quite early in the semester, and a handful of people know about me being GQ. I wouldn't expect anyone taking a romantic interest in me since in the general public's eyes, I'm something of an alien, probably a lot like BBC's Sherlock and all.

Thing is, she's clearly depressed and has some other mental health issues. She cuts, and she's generally, I don't know, borderline? She talks a lot about suicide...probably daily...and dislikes her counselor. She's fixated on dreams and the subconscious and all that and talks to me about her...mind? Subconscious? Every single day. I mean, who would actually do that?

And then I told a friend about the incident, leaving out personal details. She said she once wanted to try telling me she likes me just to see how I would react.

And now, I don't know what to think, don't know how to wrap my head around this, don't know how to react. To put it in plain words, I am freaked out. Any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry for the rather long post.

Don't worry about the long post. I've written one twice as long this morning.

Perhaps you could remind her that you're asexual and you wish to keep it friendly. I'm not very good at giving advice.

--> it sounds like you may not want to be friends with her that much. Maybe matter-of-factly tell her, we're still just getting to know each other. Do you think that might work?

Okay, the general approach is tell her that you're not interested in her romantically, but that you do very much want to remain her friend.

And then, to the best of your abilities listen nonjudgmentally and just try to make sure she knows the general solid information about cutting, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. Letting her know that you can't be everything to her, but you can be one source of information and support. And that you like her as a person and a friend.

PS okay, modify this, you said she's an acquaintance, that does make it trickier.

So, for some people the idea of an alternate sexuality is really hard to wrap their head around. I know the first time I encountered a lesbian it was very odd and she in turn was freaked out that straight girls would be interested in guys. For curious people people with alternate sexualities don't make sense because it is hard to empathize and so they may think you are just confused and are really the same sexuality as them.

IDK what to do about it. My response to intolerant people was to be bigger than them thus avoiding conflict and being just generally accepting that some people experience the world differently than me and I will never understand it fully and that is fine.

Wow that is delicate. I think you have to be honest with her though. She needs to know where you stand sexually but she also sounds like she needs a good friend. Like the poster above said, I would be honest with her and let her know that you do not want to have anything romantic with her and that you need her to respect that but that you would like to support her as a friend. But if she cannot respect your wishes about the relationship you will need to back away from her. Is there a counselor at school that can help her? She has issues that should be dealt with by someone who is trained in these things. It is a big responsibility to undertake helping someone with these types of issues so it would be best to direct her to someone who is capable of really helping her. But you can certainly be a good friend if she can respect your boundaries.

Honesty will be required for this task. Set some ground rules so she doesn't spend effort pursuing the unobtainable. "I don't want to be romantically involved, but would like to know you better as a friend." Make it very clear, none of that shy shades of grey stuff. Also, if you feel you have the personal strength for the job, add that you will be supportive in her time of need (when shes going all suicidal on you). But if your sure you can't handle that kind of emotional pressure, drop her like a disease limb so she doesn't make you melt down in public. It's so embarrassing when that happens, and not every person may want to deal with a suicidal girl willingly.

But that is just what I think is a good course of action.

I would be freaked out too. I would distance myself and kindly and gently as possible. Be really clear and honest about how you feel. Just do it as gently as possible. If you came here saying, I really care about her and want to be there for her, etc. I might give different advice. But it sounds like you are really uncomfortable with the whole thing. If you do want to be friends with her, you at least need some time to process what is going on, and she may also need some time to accept the situation.

She may be identifying with you because you are different from others, and she feels different from others too. So she feels like she has some similarity with you, and she may not really understand your orientation. Like buffinator said people can assume that you are really just like them, when you are not. And/or this might feel like a safe way for her to explore her own sexuality by opening up to someone who is not going to actually have a relationship with her. I am just throwing some ideas out on what might be motivating her but in any case she has a lot going on. And people who are like that, can have a way of sucking you up into their personal drama so you end up spending a lot of time and energy freaking out and trying to understand what is going on with them.

If she is in fact borderline...at high school age she is really too young for this to be definitive...but if she is, or seems to be, the main issues they have are trouble with personal boundaries and fear of rejection, and they tend to create huge dramas around that. She may be unconsciously setting herself up for rejection by investing interest in someone who is asexual. So even if you are very clear with her that you are not interested, she may just continue trying to test that boundary with you to see if she can obtain the unobtainable. I am not saying this is what will happen, but it could, and if you are not prepared to handle that it is probably best to just distance yourself from her.