We didnt raise you to be a disrespectful idiot!

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Dear parents...


Yeah. You didnt. You know why? Because i raised myself. YOU have never been there. I taught myself EVERYTHING. You didnt help me up when i fell, or hold on to me when i tried to walk. You didnt show me how to read. You didnt even help. Neither did the teachers, noone talked to the lonely kid in the corner.


I taught myself. You did nothing.


You didnt teach me how to approach other kids, when you saw i clearly failed at it. You didnt tell me not to cry..even though i cried all the time. You didnt tell me that i should be sympathetic when people were upset, but you watched me ignore the crying kids. (i ignored them because you ignored me. When i cried, you told me to be quiet.) So i never learned. You cant just learn things like that when you are an Aspie.


Now, you scream and yell at me for not doing those things. Yet, i was never taught. Thats like yelling at a kindergartener for not being able to do Calculus.

You didnt get my eyes checked when i could barely see. You didnt care. Which made my vision worse than it should have been. Yet, when Missy (my sister) complained of a TINY blur, you got her checked. And her vision was completely fine.

I am the reason i get straight As. It's not because you were so smart as a kid (DAD). I taught myself everything.

YOU are the reason i cant act proper. Not me.

You didnt raise me. All you did was watch me be miserable and scream at me.

I love you, i truly do, but you cant yell at me for your ignorance.

~NeonHusky.

That is because parents are the absolute WORST at teaching social skills to their offspring. If my parents taught me how to approach people I'd be even worse off, personally.

It's not really a thing people can control. You'll find as you get older it's not the end of the world.

Yeah you can - it sounds like you did learn it, honestly. We're alot smarter and more instinctive than you might think.

Parenting those with asperger's is extremely difficult. My parents never "didn't care" they just didn't know how to care. They kept their distance and let me do my own thing because anything and everything they did would set me off. I wouldn't mistake their actions as them not caring, there are many worse things that could happen such as abuse or growing up in an alcoholism riddled family - not that I'm trying to downplay your struggles. I just think your parents care a lot more than you might be showing right now.

Not everyone is really cut out to be parents, or at least good ones. But most assume they will do an ok job, like its natural. Wrong. Maybe thats true with Ameobas that just have to split in two and go on their merry way, but humans require the most nuturing of all animals on earth, and there is the most chance for failings on the part of parents.

It sounds like you got two very indifferent childraisers. I only hope their main failing is ignorance and not mean spiritedness. But it is just for you to judge them honestly, react appropriately and do the best you can while under their guardianship, a time that will rapidly come to an end soon.

If their poor performance comes from ignorance there is hope that they might gain better understanding one day. But it is more likely to be a slow and long process, rather then a lightbulb suddenly coming on in their heads.

One of my favorite quotes about this subject is from Christian apologist Frank Turek...

"There's no such thing as illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents."

Look at the other side, having to learn to do everything by yourself and alone, can allow you to become independent from people to do things, because you're able to do them alone. It has some merit, because not everyone can truly do things by themselves.

It is a very poetic post.

Neglect.
They do things differently across the board and it feels unfair.
If you show strong emotion they will isolate you.
You have to calm yourself down once they isolate you emotionally.

My family was good at not letting emotions show, going with the flow and not looking upset or just being cruel in a certain way if someone wasn't part of the "home team." I messed up their flow sometimes and they didn't like it. That is definitely valid. I was punished by being put on the spot, made fun of, avoided, or ignored completely. Especially hurtful was when they'd send me to a room to be alone when I cried. They would never come check on me. That was wrong of them.

The only thing that is helping me learn to deal with my strong emotions when I remember these childhood events is DBT (newer then CBT). It was developed for Personality Disorders but is helpful for even high functioning NTs. I find it very helpful for my own Asperger's Syndrome and the accompanying anxiety I also endure daily. It teaches you that emotions ARE acceptable and GOOD; even the negative ones can be acceptable. It also teaches you that people that deny your emotions or invalidate you dishonor themselves and humanity itself. DBT also helps people learn how to self-soothe in acceptable ways (internally or physically with tea, music, kind thoughts, blanket around you, yoga, walking, positive changes to the environment, etc.). Good workbooks have flexible options and lots of good ideas to help us be thoughtful of ourselves and others, even when being invalidated.

Have patience with yourself even if they won't give it. You being a human being means that you have a right to being accepted, even if just from yourself at first.

Try convincing my mother, sister, and almost everyone I've ever been close to of that. The majority of folks I've known either believe in total self-reliance, or a moderate mix with occasional help. My sister probably still thinks I'm using my AS diagnosis an another "excuse to avoid growing up".