linatet wrote:
I feel like a prisoner of my own mind, but for a different reason.
My mind is damn annoying, it keeps repeating things, for example, sentences I said in a conversation rewind like a a non stop looping machine. Also it's very hard to take somethingof my mind, for instance, if I have an irrational fear it's very hard to get rid of it even if I know it's irrational. And my mind contradicts me saying things I don't want to think about just to annoy me. To top off, my mind thinks very fast, thinks too much, analyze things all the time, perceive things all the time, it makes me exhausted, just make it stop. Annoying mind.
When my mind is like that I usually find it is because I am anxious for some reason.
Otherwise I like being lost in my own head pondering things. I particularly like to plan out and list my upcoming projects related to my interests, or tweaking any systems I am creating in my life to make things easier or more efficient or just for the fun of it, or pondering the nature of the universe, life, perception and human belief systems and how bizarre some of them are and so on.
I don't mind the speed of my thoughts. It was the main reason my hand writing was bad as a child...my brain thinks faster than my hand can write, but the speed of my thoughts is not distressing. They don't chase each other as with euphoria which i have also experienced, but only briefly before getting a migraine (the euphoria wears off as the headache sets in).
I like the speed my brain works. For example the last time I studied at University I managed to solve a physics question that involved combining equations without having to work through the problem solving process consciously. Despite never having answered such a question before (first time I had studied physics as I usually do subjects like geology instead) my brain knew within minutes which equations to use and combine. It was rather handy I thought as it saved me time when writing my paper, giving me more time to work on the other questions. I got 97% for that paper over all and was rather pleased as a result.
Fast brain = handy sometimes.
Me keep fast brain even if she does babble on at me sometimes and refuses to concentrate on boring things like getting my chores done. That is probably her biggest fault...I get distracted by more interesting things and don't get my housework etc accomplished. Hell I can even forget to shower..but to the point where I feel stinky. I don't smell! I am just relaxed about such things.