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video teaching of masturbation? (Indian mom, book excerpt)

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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30 Jan 2014, 12:26 am

On the theory that sexuality is as much a part of life as anything else. I mean, what it is, is what it is. Here is how one mother from India, with the help of a graduate student, made a video which showed how to masturbate.

Quote:
Unstrange Minds: Remapping the World of Autism, Roy Richard Grinker, Perseus Books Group, 2007, pages 223-24:

When Gautam was about fifteen years old, he began to touch himself more frequently, arousing himself but not knowing what else to do once he had an erection. He became increasingly frustrated, irritable, and violent, and sometimes he scratched and hit himself. "No one gives you advice about handling these sexual matters," Shubrha said, "especially in India where people have so many hang-ups about sex. I made sure not to use the word 'masturbation' or any other sexual word around him because he'd repeat them in public. He once heard the word 'scrotum,' became fixated on it, and started saying it to strangers. But other than that, I couldn't figure out what to do."

At a conference on special education in Delhi, Shubrha met a young American graduate student and asked for his thoughts. Gautam, he believed, needed to learn how to masturbate. He and Shubrha decided that Gautam should see someone masturbate, if possible on film, but it wasn't easy to figure out how to arrange that. Video recordings of any sexual act are a violation of Indian law, so pornography is difficult to find. It would be even harder to find depictions of men masturbating alone. So the graduate student set up his own video camera and filmed himself. When Gautam saw the film he showed no initial reaction, but after a few days, Shubrha said, it was obvious that he had learned what to do; Shubrha just had to make sure he learned to do it in private.



Willard
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30 Jan 2014, 12:13 pm

:D For his birthday, Mom's getting him a Fleshlight!



DonJovi
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30 Jan 2014, 2:04 pm

I don't get the "had to be taught" part. lol! Its like discovering something you can't tell anyone about lol Well until your older I suppose



ASDMommyASDKid
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30 Jan 2014, 2:24 pm

DonJovi wrote:
I don't get the "had to be taught" part. lol! Its like discovering something you can't tell anyone about lol Well until your older I suppose


Some combination of issues with sensory integration, and motor skill coordination issues could cause someone to not figure it out, I imagine.



OliveOilMom
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31 Jan 2014, 5:53 am

Seriously?


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hanyo
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09 Feb 2014, 6:36 pm

Wouldn't a brief explanation and some hand motions on a banana have been sufficient to teach them?

I figured things out on my own and I'm a girl. I thought it was easier for boys to discover that.



cyberdad
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09 Feb 2014, 8:33 pm

Sorry...I must have missed the masturbation boat? my parents never discussed masturbation with me nor my siblings and I certainly don't think I (or my wife) will discuss this with my daughter.

There was some vague reference to masturbation in school sex ed class but that was so boring (I literally went to sleep) as there was about 1 hour of female and male anatomy and references to conjugation and emission of fluids done in a rather clinical way.

I think it's a little risky and perhaps inappropriate for a parent to show their son how to masturbate. I hope people think this one through...Kids (boys at least) discover this stuff by accident. Let it happen naturally.



Drehmaschine
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11 Feb 2014, 6:54 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Sorry...I must have missed the masturbation boat? my parents never discussed masturbation with me nor my siblings and I certainly don't think I (or my wife) will discuss this with my daughter.

There was some vague reference to masturbation in school sex ed class but that was so boring (I literally went to sleep) as there was about 1 hour of female and male anatomy and references to conjugation and emission of fluids done in a rather clinical way.

I think it's a little risky and perhaps inappropriate for a parent to show their son how to masturbate. I hope people think this one through...Kids (boys at least) discover this stuff by accident. Let it happen naturally.


Same here. Don't get the point of it anyhow, but if a person wants to, they will figure it out somehow when they need to. Hopefully.



nostromo
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18 Feb 2014, 4:10 am

The young man I assume had a level of disability which meant that he could not "figure it out somehow" by himself.

If it's a question of having to show him what to do or having a violent self harming young person about, it seems a pragmatic (if slightly unpleasant) thing to teach him what he needs to do. I suppose the alternative is medication of some sort. That seems a bad idea for what is a normal impulse.