Found Out a Good Way to Look at People and Make Eye Contact

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Does what it says on the tin, hopefully. I actually found it out by accident, travelling on the train at night. The ticket officer and the snack person have noticed that I don't look at people in the eye except through the reflection on the darkened window. Looking someone's reflection in the eye through glass is a lot easier, and seems to be marginally more acceptable, in the short run. If you practiced eye contact with mirrors at home with people you know perhaps you could gradually get a bit more comfortable with looking directly at peoples' faces. If you wanted to, that is. It seems to work for me anyway, and is much less scary looking at what you know is really a sheet of glass and not a live face. It's like looking at a TV screen. Just thought I'd pass that on in case it helped someone. I'd love to hear comments.

I've had that too! I seem to be much more comfortable interacting with my Dad's reflection than with his actual physical self! It's also good to use if you want to survey your surrounding, yet don't want anyone to know.

That's what I use it for too, especially on the train or like I did in school. Like looking at the Basilisk through reflection in Harry Potter!

I would have thought that this would be OK to use occasionally. But you couldn't get away with this too often without people beginning to notice that something is up.

You could also look at people when they are talking on the TV in the eye. Then they will never know.

Mirrors freak me out, so that wouldn't work with me. I find when I do look into their eyes, I stare at them, almost transfixed. I guess that's because I don't read eyes very well so I'm always staring to see what's going on in there. I just try to concentrate on not looking at them too long when I feel like I have to look (in meetings or one-on-ones).

Making eye contact with a reflection is only any good if the other person is Medusa.

I either make too much or not enough. I think it's best when I'm not thinking about it. Although if I'm not interested in the conversation I'll never look at the person.

I've had success simply forcing myself to look people in the eye. Of course, it took 38 years to get there, but I'm doing it. I just tell myself I'm making them as uncomfortable as they are making me and I feel like I have the upper hand in a conversation (even if I don't)

Don't know if this would help ... my problem is TOO direct eye contact, so maybe I'm all wrong here, but ... try looking at their forehead rather than directly in the eyes. Unless they're way too close to you, they usually can't tell the difference.

I used to play counter-strike 1.6 a lot. it's an fps first person shooter, for any1 who doesnt klnow. anyway in the game, i got real used to going for head shots, i would look the charter models right in the face and aim for the face w/out even thinking after a while. it became second nature to me, a guy pops around a corner, i shoot him in the face. to do this, i have to look at the char models face, not the char model as a whole. i did this all summer, then the next year at school when some1 would pop around the corner in the hall or stairs or something, i would look at them right in the face. i noticed some people look away fast, and others look right back at you. i stopped looking away when some1 looked back at me. i even give a sign of "i organize your existence" like a slight head nug up if they keep looking as we are walking in op directions.

I gave up on eye contact. I don't really see a reason to force myself to do it just to make other people more comfortable.

That's an insanely good idea

Interesting how trailing eye contact can work though...a certain someone I know has a habit of talking to me, looking me right in the eyes...then glancing off in another direction (up and right normally) as he makes his point or such. The result? I have this overwhelming urge (that I often resign to) to look where he is Of course, that motion's usually met with confusion or hysterical laughter...

Up until the age of about sixteen, I never made eye contact with people. I had never heard of AS at this point and thought it was just a quirk of mine. I made a decision then to try to get better at it, and eventually had people telling me I was intimidating to talk to because I was making "extreme eye contact". These days I have a better understanding of why certain things a difficult for me so I just don't stress about it. I think I'm pretty good at eye contact with close friends/family, but I can never tell if I'm making too much or too little with people I am unfamiliar with.

Me too....making eye contact is just too much work and too tiring to think about when you are trying to pick up on tiny little nuances that are impossible to see...

I look them in the mouth - stupid NT's can't seem to tell the difference