Why I have to be honest and disagree with some on this board

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I stared working at 17 I lasted 5 months and was fired.
I did two skills courses and had different jobs up until the age of 23.
I was fired from most and I left one.

At this time I had never heard of Aspergers syndrome.
I had a cleft lip and got mercilessly bullied all the way through school.

I was convinced up until the age of 37 it was the bullying that had caused me to be unable to form relationships and friendships.
I had all the other Autism symptoms too but I though they were all unrelated faults I had.

I would list all the Autism symptoms I have them all.

After all these knock-backs I got a job at 23 that lasted for 14 years and it only ended because it closed.
I got taken for a fool and was bullied for most of that 14 years and people said I was a pest and I was moron and so on.


That was 2 and a half years ago I have been in a job for the last 18 months and was made permanent in the last week.
In this job I do not get bullied thanks to following advice from this board.

Being able to hold down full time employment is vital to my self worth and self esteem.


Now I don't think anybody can say I have had an easy ride and I did not plan things long term I just lived life one day at a time.


Now here is my point.

I responded to a thread in which a 21 year old Aspie living at home was told by the doctor to get down and register for employment services.

I said this guy needs a kick in the butt and to put some effort into trying to get into employment.

Given this guy or people in the same boat a shoulder to cry on and advice he is just fine the way he is may seem kind?

In my mind this is reenforcing his belief that he can never achieve anything.

What happens as he gets older a life of poverty and reaching the age of 30 with nothing on his CV?

When I was that age I had no internet or diagnosis to wallow in.

I moved from one disaster to the next convinced I could never hold down a job all the time thinking I was a one is a billion freak.

In my mind this is not just about Autism the younger generation these days seem to want instant gratification with little to no effort.

This is not me having a go at people I am deeply worried about what the future holds for people who lack the will to even try.


People who reassure with kind words answer me this.

Will kind words now help somebody in 20 years who will be totally unemployable due to an empty CV?

Look at the rescission the world as just endured can anybody say with confidence there will be welfare in Europe and North America in 20 years?

Now I know ASD is different in each case and people said this person may not be able to hold down a job and trying to push was damaging.

What if he can learn to hold down a job but does not try because people tell him it's ok to hide from the big bad world.

An analogy I could use to put things into simple terms would be as follows.

I am pushing somebody onto a rickety staircase that is steep and these is a danger of falling and getting hurt but it leads to a better place.

Others are gently leading somebody down a gentle slope that is easy but it leads to a deep dark pit with no escape ever.

Last edited by sharkattack on 05 Feb 2014, 6:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Believe it or not, there are actually a lot of Aspies who aren't lazy; they really do need disability services. I'm happy that you seem to have your life all together, but do remember that not all of us are in the same boat, and it's not always our fault.

I don't have my life altogether I have to get my driving test this year.
I am still living with my parents and I have never had a relationship and I do not have friends.

Trying to organize things in my head is a nightmare and my room does be a mess.

Working is not something I do as my duty to society I do it for myself to put meaning in my life and to get money.

I am aware some Aspies will never be able to work or hold down a job and I only learned this skill by the skin of my teeth after years of getting fired.

I am thinking about people who might be just like me but have a diagnosis at an early age many of them may be able to work if they stick at it.

As another 'senior spectrumite', I agree with your premise 100%. Having the condition and/or diagnosis of ASD means that you're different. It does not mean you are going to fail, but it usually means you are going to have to forge a different path from the NT majority. And there are choices that many 'professionals' do not accept as valid.
It's hard work just learning how to function in the NT world of work and the other bizarre (to the Aspie/Autie) habits and actions one is supposed to adopt to be 'normal'...but it can be done...

Thanks you understood my post 100%.

sharkattack,
agree with the theme are taking here,theres very little work ethic or interest in accepting responsibilities amongst many autistics.

its difficult for autistics to find a job because it needs to fit around their worst 'barriers', and there arent many specialists or individuals at all willing to take on someone who has a disability,its just more cost and in some of our cases more risk to the bosses.

the UK in particular has closed down all sheltered workshops and assumes we can all access mainstream jobs,they did this supposedly in the name of equality but theyve just made jobs inaccessible to those of us on the severe and profound spectrums.

its not necessarily a persons level of autism that stops them from working,its finding a place accepting,supportive and accomodating enough that is key.
am lucky enough to work for the NHS as a interviewer for them whenever they have job posts within the learning disability teams.
two of the people that used to live with were profoundly autistic and they both had good gardening jobs working for the national trust;albeit voluntary.

have overheard people say entire life woud never be able to do anything for self let alone things like living away from the family home or jobs but have always had a strong need to contribute to society in some way and show am not the burden people think.

KingdomOfRats I agree with everything you have just said.

I agree it is not easy.

My current job knows about my Autism but I am good at my job which lucky for me seems to be the important thing for them.

I am aware of the thread the OP is referring to, and I agree with him.

There is possibly a generational aspect to this dependence on parents well into adulthood which isn't limited to people with autism. I don't know that it's particularly common, but there are definitely some young adults here who seem content to rely on their parents' generosity, often while making scathing comments about their parents' jobs and domestic routines. I wonder what on earth is going to happen to these people when their parents die or are no longer able or willing to look after them, and these young people seem disinclined to play any role in the wider society of which we are all a part.

I do have a great deal of sympathy for those who keep trying and failing to find employment - that is really disheartening and it's a tough economic climate in many parts of the world just now. But there are those who just don't try.

Some people can work, some can't. One of the things I get from Wrong Planet is that a lot of people can disagree and then move on. I get really frustrated too when people disagree with something that seems obvious to me. And really have a horrible time moving on, I fall apart because I can't. But here I think this issue is people expressing their opinions, strongly, and we can't really force one another into anything over the internet, anyway. I don't know whose right about this issue, but I do know that people disagreeing doesn't necessarily make a person wrong!

I wonder about that myself since I live with my mother and don't work. I guess I'll just have to hope that she is around for a long time because when she is gone I won't be able to support myself.

!00% agree.

Another wise and sensible post I can agree with.

Kinda hard to force a square peg into a round hole, isn't it?

I'd say we are only less "desireable" in the eyes of those who desire.

at the end of the day, ask yourself - by what means do you measure yourself?

The unemployment rate for people with autism/Aspergers ranges depending on source between 66% up to 97%.
I am on disability, did not manage to finish education or get employment (in total less than 6 month of official employment and I am 39), only volunteers work, but it needs to be under certain conditions, but people are informed about my autism, still sometimes I am unable to finish that work, as conditions are not always predictable or because of severe executive dysfunction or sensory overload or just being too much in my head and not responsive and cannot get out of it (eg. mutism, not being receptive of environment).

Yes but the key thing here is you have made the attempt.

I have an almost empty CV. I don't even have any references now which will make it difficult if I do decide to get a jog. Sometimes people want to work but can't. I had physical problems on top of my social problems and issues with depression, insomnia and sleep issues. And for the first 10 years I was a carer anyway as I spent time looking after my disabled mother. Then my physical health went to s**t as well and 10 years later is only just recovering. I last worked at the age of 20 before having my son, whom is no longer with me. I wouldn't hold down a job anyway.

I have done educational courses over the years but since being medicated I never finished any of them (I did finish courses as a teen before they put me on antidepressants that affected my cognition and quit frankly made me sick). I am no longer medicated but my financial situation is such that I cannot afford to study at this time, certainly not at degree level. I don't qualify to have my fees paid due to previous years of study, even though I never actually finished the degree.

About the only thing I could do is look into self employment but I doubt I'd have the people skills to make it work out. It depends on how I self employed.

It's not always possible to work, it depends on a persons issues/difficulties.

Last edited by bumble on 05 Feb 2014, 8:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.