Should I tell my classmates I have aspergers

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Should I let my teacher tell my class
Yes 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
No 56%  56%  [ 20 ]
Maybe 19%  19%  [ 7 ]
I should tell them myself 19%  19%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 36

LupineSnowstorm
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06 Feb 2014, 5:42 pm

I have only known that I have Aspergers since last summer (my parents didn't want to freak me out) and since then my school has been trying to help me with my social problems. All my teachers know and have been very understanding (I am a swotty goody two-shoes who has never had a detention or caused trouble so I get along pretty well with most of them.)

I had a meeting with my form tutor this morning and he asked me if there was anything he or any other member of staff could do to help me. I asked if he had any suggestions so he said that if he explained to the rest of my class what Aspergers is they might understand me better. He also said that me and my Mum could have as long as we wanted to think about it and that he wouldn't go through with it if I didn't want him to.

On one hand I think it would be good for my classmates to know why I act strangely but I live out in the middle of nowhere and I doubt very many people in my class understand what autism means, besides that some of the pupils in my school patronise me a bit and if they found out about it I think it might get worse.

I'm still undecided so I thought a few outside opinions might help.



BirdInFlight
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06 Feb 2014, 6:17 pm

I voted No to the teacher telling the class. I don't think it's necessary to make an announcement. Most people don't even understand what autism or Asperger's even is and what it means.

I think telling a person on a "need to know" basis is best. Meaning, if one particular individual would benefit from being made aware of it, or your relationship with that person would benefit, then tell them and always accompany that with some education about what it is/does how it affect you.

Other than that, you owe no explanation upfront to anyone.

It's great that your teachers are understanding, but I find it bizarre that they think this needs a public service announcement.

.



Willard
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06 Feb 2014, 6:20 pm

Unless you want to be bullied, I don't recommend it. A short explanation will not make anyone understand you, it will only let them know that you are different and give them a reason to treat you like a circus freak.

AS is a complex set of handicaps, understandable only to those willing to study it for a while, and few people who don't either have it themselves or have a family member diagnosed with it, will ever bother to pay that much attention. To tell a random group of people you have a neurological disability will only convince them that you are stupid, crazy or potentially dangerous, because when you say there's something "different" about your brain, what they will hear is "brain damage" or "mental illness."

I would not mention it, except to my closest friends and relatives and I wouldn't talk about it to a lot of my relatives. Not because I am ashamed of it in any way, because I am not. I just know they wouldn't get it and I don't want to have to spend hours, weeks or months trying to explain it. They don't experience the world the same way that I do, so they can never really imagine what it's like to live inside an autistic brain.



serenaserenaserena
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06 Feb 2014, 9:16 pm

I don't bring it up unless it's closely relevant to the conversation somehow.
I thought about it one day, and yes, they'd probably treat you like you're stupid, because since AS means a lot of things, chances are, they're not going to learn about all of those things, and they'd just think that they need to treat you in ways that you actually would not want.


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izzeme
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07 Feb 2014, 5:19 am

while it would be good to inform all of your teachers, i think that it is a bit early to tell your classmates.
i have done so in high school, but not before i was 16/17, when i knew who i was and wanted to be.
even now i only tell class/group/project/work/room mates what they absolutely need to know, no more, no less.



populationone
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11 Feb 2014, 4:04 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
I voted No to the teacher telling the class. I don't think it's necessary to make an announcement. Most people don't even understand what autism or Asperger's even is and what it means.


I completely agree and I think that people will respect you more if they don't know if you have Aspergers. After all, it's a disorder, isn't it? Disorders don't sound pleasant. My dad's family doesn't know I'm an aspie; they just think I'm quiet. As for the respect thing: my parents, therapist, and high school guidance counselor know and they do treat me differently after I told them my diagnoses. It's a little condescending.


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aerolight
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12 Feb 2014, 12:03 am

I agree with the other posters wholeheartedly. Telling other people unless it is necessary only serves to alienate you further and disrupt any illusions of normality you may put on. Trying to fit in and make friends is difficult enough without a diagnosis hanging over your head. Yes, it could potentially help your classmates understand you better, but it could also label you in a very negative light.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck in your efforts!



Outrider
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16 Feb 2014, 4:33 am

I chose Maybe as I think it depends on what you say and how you do it.

Telling the teacher to announce it to the class I think is a bad idea at best, kid's can be cruel and you can be opening yourself up to all kind of bullying.

I would choose a good time to bring it up, and say this exactly: "I just have anxieties, it...gets difficult for me to talk to people sometimes, I just don't know what to do...or to say exactly, sometimes. It's not really a big deal. Sometimes I just get a little nervous."

But in the end this is completely up to you and your choice, you choose whether you do it or not and how you will do it if you want to. Whatever happens, good luck. :D



FeralRobot
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22 Feb 2014, 11:18 am

My problem with 'coming out' about my diagnosis has been mainly the opposite to the 'condescension' thing, in that I have had people (friends and teachers) completely ignore it. There is a group of year 9 boys who often crowd me on the yard, demanding that I recite pi to fifty decimal places or interrogating me as to why I am muttering to myself - I have told them about Asperger's, and explained to them that because of this I get nervous dealing with large groups of people, but they seem to have conveniently forgotten that. I had to explain the whole thing all over again - to my friends - when I said "you neurotypicals understand that stuff" a few weeks ago (and I think they still think "neurotypical" is an insult). Teachers still automatically expect me to work well in groups (groupwork has induced meltdowns in the past) and to know how to deal with a social situation.



thewrite1
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23 Feb 2014, 11:15 pm

Tell your friends? Maybe/sure. Tell the entire class? Hell no. If there's one thing I've learned from my childhood, is that most children are monsters, who won't hesitate to treat you like s**t if you give them the opportunity. Friends I say 'maybe' to because while they've known you longer and thus will most likely treat you the same regardless, you never truly know...

And in a similar vein to another poster above, my mother knows I have AS and yet insists that I 1.) interact with other people at family events (especially the adults), despite the fact that she knows I have a huge fear of saying something idiotic in front of other people and don't like being swarmed, 2.) is not always sympathetic when I have a meltdown, and 3.) gets upset when I 'overreact' to frightening/loud situations. 'Coming out' doesn't always help/change anything.


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27 Feb 2014, 12:09 pm

Ah, well, I have to go with the last one.
If you feel like you can finally trust them or you want to reach out to them somehow I think it's best to just personally let them know what's going on without immediately drawing unnecessary attention to yourself. They'll be surprised, sure, but their reactions are enough to just make you smile. I say you should give it a shot if you really believe in them.
I, personally, didn't tell them right away. I waited for a while, I got to know 'em, realised that they were actually pretty cool and when it was April [which is Autism and Aspergers Pride Month] when the subject was brought up I just said "Well YOLO" and finally told the ones I trust the most. It was pretty cool!
Aspergers... Well, it might be a syndrome, yeah..
But it's also pretty awesome.
I say go for it, pal. Woo!


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RubyWings91
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27 Feb 2014, 10:41 pm

I have voted no because I think that if your classmates are informed of your Aspergers, they will use it as another tool in their arsenal when they want to tease you. If you want to share it with a couple trusted people you really trust, that might be a good idea though.