There's a boy!

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I finally met someone I'm crazy interested in. Usually I'll get a very superficial little crush at best, since people's flaws are usually too glaring and that tends to outweigh whatever I see in them, be it potential guys or just friends. But I really might like this guy! I'm in college and have never dated before, so it's very exciting. I think he may be interested in me as well, but I don't mean to jump the gun.

I think it's funny because all of my pals (the kids I hang around because we have classes together, but we're not close by any means) think I "could do better" but they have no idea. He's so sharp, a science field double-major, but he's incredibly introverted and spends most of his time locked up with homework. Once we got talking though, he's witty and just....quick-humored. We were talking about our majors yesterday and he was like, "Well you know, as science people, my kind tend to neglect the human side of things, and books and being alone are our best friends." and he said it as if that was some bad thing he should be ashamed of. Does he understand how impossible it has been for me to explain to guys and friends that I genuinely need to be alone a lot of the time, and that I am that personality, but without being gifted in science??

this is so exciting.

Last edited by RikkiK on 08 Feb 2014, 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Congratulations!

Sounds like he might be on the spectrum too ...

He sounds cool, you sound cool. Become friends at the very least.

Where did you meet?

Yeah, it's definitely crossed my mind that he might be on the spectrum. Between his inevitably high IQ, his subtle stimming, and extreme introversion, it could be possible. But he also has very rapid responses in conversation which is something that I personally struggle with. His processing seems quick in that sense.

He lives on my floor. It's funny because I've seen him around all year and thought he was a looker, but never met him until recently. I was sad when we first met because he didn't look at me when we were introduced haha. But it's strange, I usually have such discomfort looking people square in the eyes (I tend to look at people's mouths blankly and very occasionally bounce to their eyes and back) but we were able to maintain such comfortable eye contact in conversation! neither he nor I seemed to have a problem with it, it just didn't make me squirm like usual. and the conversation came so naturally too.

ah

Really? Just because he is introverted and likes science. What next?

Are you joking?

that good for you. Good luck

You guys, we spent the night hanging out and now this is a...a thing. And we were talking just now and based on how he is and the things we discussed I was almost positive already, but he mentioned that he does have Asperger's! It makes sense that I should feel like I relate so well to him.... He's definitely on the savant side, his IQ is insane (a literal genius, I believe) and I can't even comprehend his mental capacity.

But now I face a conundrum for the future, if all goes like it would in my dreams and I'm seeing him when I go for evaluation in the spring/summer. He's so brilliant, and I'm just a tiny little bit brighter than the average NT. Generally speaking, I'm so afraid that he'll realize how comparatively stupid I am. But more importantly, since I'm not the savant type and cope fairly well with some very basic social situations, I feel like he would be offended if I told him I'm going for evaluation. Like, I already expect no one to believe I have it (expect my father who suspects he has ASD as well), but most people don't see how I struggle with processing and bonding with others, and to most I just look like cynical introverted NT. What are the chances he would be offended if I wanted to talk to him about it? Obviously it varies form person to person but I would like to hear what some of the high IQ ASD/ professionally diagnosed ASD posters here what think if they were in this situation.

Last edited by RikkiK on 09 Feb 2014, 8:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nope.



There.



He may have the same suspicion about you anyway. Particularly if he's so smart. Don't worry too much. He may have mentioned his diagnosis to you as a way to figure out whether you got one too ...? If you cope well with social situations that he finds more troubling you may make a good couple. Just remember that no two people on the spectrum are the same. Maybe start the conversation by asking him about his experiences getting evaluated (and dealing with Asperger's)?

Why would you base your opinion on such vague traits?


Congratulations RikkiK, hope it goes well and something blossoms.

Last edited by Acedia on 09 Feb 2014, 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Good for you RikkiK! It's great to hear some good news, good luck!

[quote="Aspendos] He may have the same suspicion about you anyway. Particularly if he's so smart. Don't worry too much. He may have mentioned his diagnosis to you as a way to figure out whether you got one too ...? If you cope well with social situations that he finds more troubling you may make a good couple. Just remember that no two people on the spectrum are the same. Maybe start the conversation by asking him about his experiences getting evaluated (and dealing with Asperger's)?[/quote]

I thought about this. We had been discussing his interests [obsessions] and I lost almost all doubt that he was on the spectrum. I can tell he wanted to hold back, probably from past experiences of rambling/gushing about his interests, but I really do want to hear about them! Right after we talked about those he brought it up. It's funny because, even though he mentioned it right before we parted, he seemed to relax a bit after he told me. All the while I'm chuckling in the back of my mind thinking, "Of course, no wonder we have so much in common and clicked so well"

I hope he understands that I truly identify with things we talked about, like how he (and I) always "knew people" but never "knew people", rather than thinking I"M just nodding along and wondering "what the hell is this kid talking about?"

I find that I've really enjoyed learning about his interests, genuinely. I think it's because I love hearing about people's passions and seeing how they are when they talk about them. I find the passion of my professors similarly endearing. Obviously I'm not interested in them though haha.

I thought about this. We had been discussing his interests [obsessions] and I lost almost all doubt that he was on the spectrum. I can tell he wanted to hold back, probably from past experiences of rambling/gushing about his interests, but I really do want to hear about them! Right after we talked about those he brought it up. It's funny because, even though he mentioned it right before we parted, he seemed to relax a bit after he told me. All the while I'm chuckling in the back of my mind thinking, "Of course, no wonder we have so much in common and clicked so well"

I hope he understands that I truly identify with things we talked about, like how he (and I) always "knew people" but never "knew people", rather than thinking I"M just nodding along and wondering "what the hell is this kid talking about?"

I find that I've really enjoyed learning about his interests, genuinely. I think it's because I love hearing about people's passions and seeing how they are when they talk about them. I find the passion of my professors similarly endearing. Obviously I'm not interested in them though haha.

Agreed! This thread made me smile.