my dating profile, toughts?(hopefully not mean)

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sly279
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10 Feb 2014, 11:30 pm

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sly2792004

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=3182455

only sites i use, rest cost money.

probably a dead cause though as i only have 10 women left on each site in my area and odds are some are the same women.
i hid the rest.



Narita
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11 Feb 2014, 12:06 am

Ok here is my honest critique of your OKC profile.
Please don't take it too personally... I warn you I'm being blunt

Quote:
...which is an immediate turn off for most women, i guess. Being jobless i don't go out much other then to look for work

Remove that, it sounds negative and whiny and doesn't need that much elaboration. Simply say you are recent automotive grad looking for work

Quote:
...self efficient

Self sufficient

Quote:
...why women are how they are, why them seem so shallow, and if there's love in my future.
why women complain about having no nice guys but avoid the nice guys o.O


Sounds whiny I'd remove it

You need to make your profile a sales pitch. Focus on positives and what you can bring to the table, (avoid sounding needy though) ultimately people want added value when bringing someone into their circle. Especially with relationships.



slw1990
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11 Feb 2014, 12:13 am

In your picture you don't look very comfortable or relaxed. I think a lot of girls like a guy that appears confident and relaxed , but that's just my opinion.



sly279
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11 Feb 2014, 1:03 am

Narita wrote:
Ok here is my honest critique of your OKC profile.
Please don't take it too personally... I warn you I'm being blunt

Quote:
...which is an immediate turn off for most women, i guess. Being jobless i don't go out much other then to look for work

Remove that, it sounds negative and whiny and doesn't need that much elaboration. Simply say you are recent automotive grad looking for work

Quote:
...self efficient

Self sufficient

Quote:
...why women are how they are, why them seem so shallow, and if there's love in my future.
why women complain about having no nice guys but avoid the nice guys o.O


Sounds whiny I'd remove it

You need to make your profile a sales pitch. Focus on positives and what you can bring to the table, (avoid sounding needy though) ultimately people want added value when bringing someone into their circle. Especially with relationships.


i added all that from being upset with women on there and cl, i seem to have got more messages sense but its hard to tell.

lots of women have similar things about guys on thiers

as for the last thing i don't know what to put, only good thing i have is my personality :(



sly279
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11 Feb 2014, 1:05 am

slw1990 wrote:
In your picture you don't look very comfortable or relaxed. I think a lot of girls like a guy that appears confident and relaxed , but that's just my opinion.



the main one is one tooken by my sister for the site, i don't like pictures and have few, the other two on okc are from happier times.



yellowtamarin
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11 Feb 2014, 1:46 am

I'd fix up the spelling and grammar and take out all the negative bits (of which there are many). BUT we are only a 58% match so my advice is perhaps not relevant to you and the type of person you are trying to attract.



sly279
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11 Feb 2014, 2:05 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
I'd fix up the spelling and grammar and take out all the negative bits (of which there are many). BUT we are only a 58% match so my advice is perhaps not relevant to you and the type of person you are trying to attract.


i've actually found lots of stuff in common with women that don't match me so well, so i don't trust okc matching % as much as what their profile says. so i'd have to read your profile to tell for sure.


also i removed some stuff how is it now, people?



MadeUnderground
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11 Feb 2014, 2:23 am

If possible, take other pictures..

If you have a camera... Or have you done any events or anything like.. volunteering or something and someone took a group photo or something like that? Basically just pictures of you doing things.. not just standing there.

There's a lot of things I wouldn't personally put on OKCupid but, I'm not really sure, plus I'm not a lady so idk..



sly279
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11 Feb 2014, 2:40 am

MadeUnderground wrote:
If possible, take other pictures..

If you have a camera... Or have you done any events or anything like.. volunteering or something and someone took a group photo or something like that? Basically just pictures of you doing things.. not just standing there.

There's a lot of things I wouldn't personally put on OKCupid but, I'm not really sure, plus I'm not a lady so idk..


i have a camera and one on my phone

i don't get out of my room, only activity photos i have is from airsoft 2 years ago back when i was on a team. yeah i don't do things so no pictures of doing things. :(

also i think i'm really urgly and i have bad teeth, so i don't like doing pictures. gives me anxiety



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Feb 2014, 3:26 am

Forget it for now, you are not yet ready for dating. You are wasting your time on these sites.

Work on getting a job, get a place of your own (I understand this is very crucial in the west even at young age), then get a car if you can.

And go to gym, go on diet.

Achieving those not only would make you more attractive but they would boost self esteem, you have it zero right now.

Yes, I know there are out there jobless/entry-job guys who get gfs all the time but usually have very good social skills and I think like all of us here, you don't have any.

Easier said that done I know, I am still in the middle of this process (yes, I am searching for a better job, had 2 interviews yesterday, one today :-|...still ongoing searching).



sly279
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11 Feb 2014, 4:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Forget it for now, you are not yet ready for dating. You are wasting your time on these sites.

Work on getting a job, get a place of your own (I understand this is very crucial in the west even at young age), then get a car if you can.

And go to gym, go on diet.

Achieving those not only would make you more attractive but they would boost self esteem, you have it zero right now.

Yes, I know there are out there jobless/entry-job guys who get gfs all the time but usually have very good social skills and I think like all of us here, you don't have any.

Easier said that done I know, I am still in the middle of this process (yes, I am searching for a better job, had 2 interviews yesterday, one today :-|...still ongoing searching).


i'm going keep trying,

i've accepted i won't have a job and if i do its going be cashiering for min wage, so never high paying but such is life when you wasted 4 years and 20k on a degree for a job you can't do outside of the classroom.
was going go to voc rehab tomorrow, but i don't know if i will plus having to put cat down in the morning i guess i could go back out later, but scares me and i dont see the point but it is my only chance at getting a job, nothing says hire hime like the gov saying hiring him and your get tax credits and stuff.

as for my own place, that won't happen til i get a gf, to move now would not only screw me but my family too, we all rent a place together, and it'll be super hard for us all to find separate places.

i have a car not the best but it gets around and keeps warm/cold

can't do the gym, i could do the diet again if i had motivation and no depression/anxiety
last time i had a goal given by a 3rd party(to join the marines need to be this weight)

i wouldn't say its zero, below average at times, others its quite good. sifting moods kinda i guess. i mean if it was at zero wouldn't i be willing to accept any woman? so i at least have enough to stand up for myself and not just do it to not be alone.

yeah it probably would make me be more attractive, but if i got buff it wouldn't be me, and i might turn out like my friend, (got to be manly lift lift lift, protein shakes, ) he didn't use to be like that. i want a woman that will love me for me, as i would for her.


you have a job ? lucky wish i could find a full time part time job i'd make enough to be able to do stuff

i think i'm ready for dating besides the money part, i was able to make a girl happy for a year and be there for her emotional support.

if being ready means makes good money, nice car, and own place that'll never happen, also probably not good idea i live alone as then i'd have 0 social contact, atleast living with my family i forced to be social.

plus there's tons of girls in the same situation as me, ie no job, no car, live at thier parents house( at-least i pay half the rent here) course most(not all) of those girls are looking for a bf to provide them the things they lack.

also congrats on your success, hope you get the job



yellowtamarin
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11 Feb 2014, 4:36 am

sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I'd fix up the spelling and grammar and take out all the negative bits (of which there are many). BUT we are only a 58% match so my advice is perhaps not relevant to you and the type of person you are trying to attract.


i've actually found lots of stuff in common with women that don't match me so well, so i don't trust okc matching % as much as what their profile says. so i'd have to read your profile to tell for sure.

You sometimes chew with your mouth open. It would never work between us :P



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Feb 2014, 4:51 am

sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Forget it for now, you are not yet ready for dating. You are wasting your time on these sites.

Work on getting a job, get a place of your own (I understand this is very crucial in the west even at young age), then get a car if you can.

And go to gym, go on diet.

Achieving those not only would make you more attractive but they would boost self esteem, you have it zero right now.

Yes, I know there are out there jobless/entry-job guys who get gfs all the time but usually have very good social skills and I think like all of us here, you don't have any.

Easier said that done I know, I am still in the middle of this process (yes, I am searching for a better job, had 2 interviews yesterday, one today :-|...still ongoing searching).


i'm going keep trying,

i've accepted i won't have a job and if i do its going be cashiering for min wage, so never high paying but such is life when you wasted 4 years and 20k on a degree for a job you can't do outside of the classroom.
was going go to voc rehab tomorrow, but i don't know if i will plus having to put cat down in the morning i guess i could go back out later, but scares me and i dont see the point but it is my only chance at getting a job, nothing says hire hime like the gov saying hiring him and your get tax credits and stuff.

as for my own place, that won't happen til i get a gf, to move now would not only screw me but my family too, we all rent a place together, and it'll be super hard for us all to find separate places.

i have a car not the best but it gets around and keeps warm/cold

can't do the gym, i could do the diet again if i had motivation and no depression/anxiety
last time i had a goal given by a 3rd party(to join the marines need to be this weight)

i wouldn't say its zero, below average at times, others its quite good. sifting moods kinda i guess. i mean if it was at zero wouldn't i be willing to accept any woman? so i at least have enough to stand up for myself and not just do it to not be alone.

yeah it probably would make me be more attractive, but if i got buff it wouldn't be me, and i might turn out like my friend, (got to be manly lift lift lift, protein shakes, ) he didn't use to be like that. i want a woman that will love me for me, as i would for her.


you have a job ? lucky wish i could find a full time part time job i'd make enough to be able to do stuff

i think i'm ready for dating besides the money part, i was able to make a girl happy for a year and be there for her emotional support.

if being ready means makes good money, nice car, and own place that'll never happen, also probably not good idea i live alone as then i'd have 0 social contact, atleast living with my family i forced to be social.

plus there's tons of girls in the same situation as me, ie no job, no car, live at thier parents house( at-least i pay half the rent here) course most(not all) of those girls are looking for a bf to provide them the things they lack.

also congrats on your success, hope you get the job


What's your major? Why it's useless outside classroom?


Quote:
plus there's tons of girls in the same situation as me, ie no job, no car, live at thier parents house( at-least i pay half the rent here) course most(not all) of those girls are looking for a bf to provide them the things they lack.


So you're fully aware of the situation. Unemployed girls can still have working bf accepting their status (even if they're less preferred), unemployed guys are far less likely to accepted by those non-working girls, maybe even less likely to be accepted by working girls. As long the stay-at-home dads are still barely 1% of the fathers in most countries, this is not gonna change soon. Most girls want to get married (or co-living with kids) after all.



thedeath
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11 Feb 2014, 11:16 am

I think you look friendly and likeable on your pictures (especially the last one). :)

As others have pointed out, you should fix your spelling and remove any text parts that mention you're unemployed.

And uhm, the profile looks a bit generic... some parts could describe anyone (like "I'm really good at caring about others").
Maybe you should add something that might make your profile stand out.



thewhitrbbit
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11 Feb 2014, 11:55 am

Quote:
I'm not the best looking guy but i'd treat a woman right and respect her.


Get rid of the 1st part.


But, your number 1 priority needs to be SMILE IN THE PICTURE. Your pictures make you look miserable. Try to get a picture of you working on a car too. (That one it's ok to look focused and not smile)

You have a skill that women find attractive, that is a good thing.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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11 Feb 2014, 1:00 pm

Check your English grammar because I've counted over a dozen mistakes, especially use of a lower case 'i' when an upper case 'I' should be used.

Also, I agree with some of the earlier posts, hit the gym and lose a few pounds.


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