Whole lot of Blahurgh

Post Reply New Topic

I severely suck at writing these things but anyway.

Back story: I was dating a dude for a while, and it ended. He cheated (this is not the problem) and lied (this is the problem), and basically I wasn't the priority. Which is fair enough, I told him to get his life together and leave me be. He hasn't really let me be.

Fast forward to now, we've been apart for a while but he keeps trying to get back with me. I've been saying no and told him to get his life together, plus he hid one thing which was kind of important during the time since too. Basically I'm trying to get him out of my life. We run in the same circles so I don't want this to get awkward especially as I am one of the few girls in our circles. Every time I try to get rid of him, it doesn't really work. I can't let him hang around though because he gets in the way by the way he acts if we're out as a group, so it is actively interfering with my special interest.

Just a few days ago, I tried to get rid of him again properly and permanently. He totally broke down which isn't like him, only then do I get a text from my roommate telling me that his grandfather died and they just got the news this morning.

This is getting hard because we are friends now, for better or for worse. I can't do anything right now because cutting someone off after someone close to them dies on top of other stuff is just too much and wrong. But I also need to find a way to extract myself from this situation, and every time in try, something major pops up. I'm at a loss as to what to do or how to do this now. I do if know if I'm being too harsh still thinking about this now.

Don't pity, or feel sorry for him. It's an in for him. Sounds like a gamer. You might as well just tell him the truth. You don't trust him. You don't believe him either. He cheats. It would be almost impossible for him to get his stuff in order. People don't change much. You cannot change him, he can only change himself.

I've told him the truth. He knows I don't trust him. I'm not stupid enough to try to change him and I have no interest in doing so what do ever.

It's still not an active plan of extraction. If there's a way to get out of this while being civil, I haven't found it yet.

If he is hanging on, he isn't allowing you to be civil, he isn't accepting it. So you have to be colder and firm. It was his choice in a way, to bow out graceful or hanging on (which is a sort of demanding perhaps). His side issues don't really come into consideration, as it is only temporizing the inevitable and perhaps giving false hope.