What do people normally do at a party?

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Hello!

I'm 18 years old and I have high functioning autism. I was homeschooled all the way to college and never really had friends except for those I met online through my virtual school. Therefore, I had never been to a party when I started college. Last year, I attended an academic conference over the weekend and we were required to attend the party on a Friday night. I was extremely uncomfortable the whole time and ended up talking to my friend for the duration. I'm attending the annual conference again this weekend, and there's another mandatory party tomorrow night. I know there will be music, but that's about it. Just a bunch of young people from all over Florida (it's a state Honors conference) in a room with loud music. What do people normally do in this situation? I would really like to fit in and meet some new people with similar interests to mine, but I don't know how to start a conversation with a complete stranger. Help please?

Hi Rosemary,
You are not alone in feeling this way. I hate parties for that exact reason; I don't feel like I can communicate with people in a party situation, or at least communicate anything satisfactory. In fact, I would say my worst memory from high school was the year I went to the prom with my girlfriend: long story short, it was a monumental night of drama because I "didn't dance enough", I "ignored everyone but" one or two of my friends (who were also in the dog-house with their dates), and that I "ruined it".

It seems to me that most people consider parties to be a place where they turn off a lot of their inhibition--not surprisingly, alcohol is a big factor for a lot of people--and that they consider it "relaxing" to dance, flirt, talk about things that don't seem interesting to me, and to frown down on those of us who would rather relax differently. I don't say this to judge them, but I've come to accept that I don't enjoy spending my free time the way that other people do.

The only thing I've found is to have a friend with me: someone who can act as a buffer between myself and everyone else, someone who can pull me aside with a fake excuse if I'm breaking some social taboo, or someone who can join a conversation but still make me feel like I'm welcome, even if I don't really join in much besides shaking a few hands and smiling.

I know that's not really possible when you can't choose out someone to take with you to this party, but maybe it'll help sometime in the future. For the meanwhile, just remember that there are a lot of people out there who might be right there with you, and more than willing to join a conversation with one or two people rather than aimlessly socializing with everyone in the room who has a pulse.

Derp. My first post is a double-post. Edited.

Usually on the rare occasions I've been to parties, as in high school beyond parties with people I'm not related to and mostly don't know, I just talked to that one person I did know and sat there until I could leave.

Drink, mostly.

The best way to meet people in college is to join a club that has the same interests you do.

Can you take someone you know with you? Do you drink? These things help me a lot.
If I'm with even one person I know, and someoen comes up to us and starts talking, I feel better and more confident because I know there's one person who accepts me, so it's easier to put myself out there.
Alcohol, be it just a few drinks or a whole lot, makes everything easier and more fun. You don't even have to get drunk if you dont want to, just a few drinks and you feel more relaxed and confident.