I could use some advice

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My 29 year old son was hired as a vet assistant four months ago. The stress of the fast paced job was overwhelming to him. His co worker (trainer) said to another coworker, "Is he like a ret*d?" My son went to the office manager who said that she would talk to the girl. It only got worse with co workers laughing at him, giggling, giving him inaccurate information so he would really goof up. He called me and said that he could not take it any more (Three reports to the office manager and two to veterinarians) He left. He wrote an email to corporate office, Banfield, and they called him several times and said that they would call last Friday and set up a mediation meeting. They did not call. Should I call them? Even though he won't be hired, the office manager said that he said he quit, but he did not. Help.

That's really awful. Regarding what to do about this current job - I think just make sure that everything is in writing, or notes are taken of each interaction going forward (in case you do intend to take any legal action).

Going forward, there are programs in many states that go by names like "Self-determination" often run by whatever department focuses on developmental disabilities. This link explains some about the NY state program ( http://nyselfd.org/ ); you'll have to do some research to find the equivalent in your state. These programs are often very flexible, and provide funding for services like job-coaches. I am currently working with a similar program that includes myself as a job coach - on site, and a job coordinator, who paves the way for us with different potential job and internship sites. With that sort of support, a lot of the politics and social issues can be handled without your son having to manage it on his own. Good luck!

There must be other offices where he can get hired and get the training. I would pursue that. When asked why it didn't work out he can simply say that there were personality conflict issues (it is tacky to place blame), but that he feels with the "right fit" he would be an excellent employee, and he is willing to listen and work with a company to avoid this from happening again.

The problem with taking legal action is that it will scare other potential employers off. If that is the road that has to be taken that is the road that has to be taken, and I would get all the ducks in order in case, but much better long run is simply to think of it as a placement that did not work out and strengthen resolve to find one that does. JHMO, as someone who has too often sat on both sides of the fence (not that I ever bullied anyone or tried to undermine them, but I have had subordinates that carried chips on their shoulders from prior experiences and that negativity carries over basically ruining their performance in the new job).

I would ask, What would you gain by calling?

If he isn't going to get his job back (which I am sure he doesn't want anyway) then unless they are going to write him a letter of recommendation for his next job search I am not sure what the upside of calling would be.

However if there is something they can do for him to help him find another job, perhaps move him to another clinic, get a letter of recommendation or referral etc then definitely call and see what is going on.

It is an unfortunate circumstance and I wish you both the best.

If anyone is to call, I would try to coach him through it. Use it as an opportunity to teach some self-advocacy.

To be honest, if I were in your son's shoes, I would not want a mediation meeting. I honestly do not think it would do a bit of good. Some people are just ignorant and stupid. Make sure your son knows that. This girl's behavior does not reflect on him, it reflects on her. He cannot fix other people's ignorance, but he can stand tall and persist in making a life that makes him happy, despite the ignorance of others. For just as much as this girl was an immature little witch, there are also kind people out there who will support him. He just needs to find them.

I used to be a vet tech. A vet assistant, like kennel help, is not fast paced. It's really, really simple. Give this dog a half a can of KD. Bring this dog back there for a bath, etc. However, he's going to be working with a pretty low element there, in other words, people who can't get other jobs so they work as kennell help. They are going to be mean, because that's their nature. Tell him to go and talk to the Dr who owns the practice. Tell him to go privately to him, and explain about his AS. Go get him a Journal article about it if need be, because there is nothing that vets like better than being treated like real Drs and talked to like they know about real medicine. The vet can understand the journal article, too. They are taught some complicated stuff there in vet school. Then tell your son to tell the Dr that the other help are being asshats to him. Let the vet handle it.

Also, teach your son to speak up for himself. When somebody says "Are you some kind of ret*d?" tell him to say "No, why? Are you?" and to walk off from it.

The Dr who owns the practice is the one who he needs to talk to about it. Himself. You don't need to do anything. Tell him talk face to face and for the love of all that's unholy, bring an actual medical journal article about AS because that will so make the vet like him.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I also think it's a good idea for your son to advocate for himself, not because he wants the job but because there may well be other people with AS who take it and get bullied, and the management should know what is happening (especially a national company with a reputation to protect!)

Your son might well benefit from some support from a disability rights group - this sort of harassment is illegal and they may be able to help him learn to protect himself appropriately. I'd hate for him to give up on work just because he doesn't have the right tools.

Sadly, OOMom is right about certain kinds of people in the workforce - I think they're everywhere, not just at the bottom end - some people carry high school bullying with them and don't mature the way they ought. The problem is that in jobs that don't involve specialized skills, people are less likely to be held accountable by their employer than they would be if they were up farther in the hierarchy, so it's less the behavior and more the lack of accountability that your son is struggling with.

Emailing Banfield was actually a good move (depending on what your son said;) them asking to mediate the situation was not really appropriate on their part. I'm not sure what your son sent them, but if he said a co-worker called him a slur, there should be an investigation, not mediation. Temple Grandin talks about handling harassment when she entered the workforce: she writes about documenting every instance and bringing it as a body of evidence to allow the facts to speak for themselves. It's no different than bullying at a school, except that your son needs to learn to do it for himself.