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Kyuubi
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Joined: 21 Feb 2014
Age: 27
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23 Feb 2014, 11:59 am

Whenever I try to make friends with un person I always end up chasing them away. How do i stop doing this?



yournamehere
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23 Feb 2014, 1:06 pm

Stop trying to make things happen. Good things happen on their own. You are obviously not a superficial charmer.



Pobbles
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23 Feb 2014, 1:43 pm

Stop trying. This might make you appear 'needy' and will either scare people away or attract the wrong type of (predatory) person entirely. Lower expectations = less disappointment.

When I was your age I found it easier to make and maintain friendships with people who were older than me, but I had access to a wider range of people due to my part-time job. I didn't find it that difficult to make friends at school or college, but I was never satisfied with these friendships and they always felt very artificial.

Friends of the opposite sex were a different subject altogether. I desperately wanted a girlfriend at that age, and it was obvious. While I could be aloof and feign 'cool' with my male peers, I appeared very needy to girls. It took me until my mid-twenties to get over that - well, to get over myself - and stop caring. As soon as this happened, women started noticing me.

Another thing I'd add as well - expect friends to come and go, especially at your age.



AJH91
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23 Feb 2014, 5:00 pm

For me I always felt more needy when I wasn't involved in lots of clubs and societies, so if most of your free time is spent doing not much you will feel a lot more lonely. Coincidentally, these are the best places to make friends and the more friends you have, the less desperate you appear, the more casual you can act around people and the more friends you will make.



Kyuubi
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Joined: 21 Feb 2014
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23 Feb 2014, 5:02 pm

yournamehere wrote:
You are obviously not a superficial charmer.

And that's supposed to mean...................



TheUnknownOne
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24 Feb 2014, 3:56 pm

It means that you want real friendship, not some superficial arteficial bond