I'm looking at you trying to listen but words don't compute.

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IdleHands
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25 Feb 2014, 7:43 am

I noticed sometimes my wife will be trying to tell me something and I will look dead at her mouth and focus on processing each word she is saying and I will not process anything. When this happens I hear every word but it is like I drop them beyond that; they don't get processed and it is like I was not listening at all. This happens even when I'm not enthralled with an interest, and I will truly be giving her my 100% attention. This does not happen most of the time, but I wonder if this happens more in public than I realize and I just don't notice because I try harder with my wife because I love her. Anybody experience this? If so, does it stand out when it happens? I literally noticed that I was listening but heard nothing. This was different, I was not just waiting for my turn to talk since I had nothing to say. She was just trying to tell me something. In my mind I felt like I heard every single word one by one, but only processed each word and took nothing away as a whole.
I mean, not listening to people is certainly not new, but not listening when I'm trying to do only that and failing definitely stood out as unique.



EzraS
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25 Feb 2014, 7:51 am

Have problems along those lines.
Especially when a teacher is talking.
Mouth moves, words are heard, don't know what was said.



iammaz
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25 Feb 2014, 9:26 am

I find that looking away or closing my eyes lets me concentrate a bit better. Otherwise i get too focused on what i am looking at and stop processing words. attempting to do eye contact is the worst because im concentrating on getting that right, i miss the entire conversation.

my most used phrase ever is... "i dont understand". If there were words, and i knew the words, but it wasnt translated into how i think i just say i dont understand. some people will give me a moment to think or change how they were speaking to me and some others just give up and go away. either way it suits me :)



McCool
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25 Feb 2014, 10:03 am

It happens to me quite a bit. I find I can listen better if I'm not looking at the person. When it happens with my husband, I usually just say "I'm sorry I've no idea what you just said. Can you please start over?" He is pretty understanding. I do the same thing with the kids at times, but I can usually understand what they are saying. When it happens with other people, I usually just smile and nod as they never really say anything of great importance to me anyway.



emmyris
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25 Feb 2014, 1:41 pm

iammaz wrote:
I find that looking away or closing my eyes lets me concentrate a bit better. Otherwise i get too focused on what i am looking at and stop processing words. attempting to do eye contact is the worst because im concentrating on getting that right, i miss the entire conversation.


I agree, turning my sight away helps. I know I have sensory problems. I can readily process sound, but sight is different. It seems like it comes slower. Like, I can watch a movie ten different times and always spot something I didn't see before. By that point, I already have the dialogue memorized.

And McCool, LOL, I do that. And most of the time, you're right. I'll laugh at jokes I didn't catch, but everyone else is laughing. I stopped using definitive responses awhile ago, because it was getting me in trouble. I'd say "sure" or "okay" in response, and my brain would throw the nonsensical event away. Then, the person would approach me again about it, and I'd be at a complete loss. People were getting mad at me. I limit it to just reactions based on their tone. "Seriously?" and "Whoa." And a noncommittal "wow", without much inflection.

It became a problem at work when I would be assigned a task. Sometimes I just honestly didn't process it, although I automatically acknowledged it. I was getting into problems because I would just wander off and go about my business. I was starting to appear forgetful, inattentive, and incompetent. Now, I make myself a reminder to get really involved in something, then go back and say something like, "Oh, I became so busy that I lost track. What was it you said before?" Then I pretend like I actually knew, but was just checking.



dianthus
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25 Feb 2014, 10:04 pm

What happens to me is I *think* I'm listening and at the time maybe I don't notice that I missed anything but later someone says "I ALREADY TOLD YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH" and I have no recollection of it whatsoever



DevilKisses
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25 Feb 2014, 10:11 pm

That happens to me if I'm super tired. I usually avoid people when I'm super tired anyways.


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Sethno
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26 Feb 2014, 3:54 pm

I was going to say it sounds like you have a lot on your mind (even if you don't think so) and your sub-processors can't handle any more data coming in.

Others saying if you turn away or close your eyes it might help is sort of along those lines. Could be you ARE tired and that's affecting how much you can take in. Still similar.


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IdleHands
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26 Feb 2014, 6:05 pm

Yeah I was tired. Trouble sleeping since last full moon.



Dreycrux
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26 Feb 2014, 6:14 pm

I get far behind in conversation...analyzing what was said a minute ago. I feel like I'm trying to relate the sentences to each other but they get jumbled up into nonsense.


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ZombieBrideXD
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27 Feb 2014, 4:49 am

i have this problem, too! i didnt know it was an autism thing until recently i heard temple grandin talking about it, sometimes my eyes glaze over and i wont be looking or focusing on anything and then i can hear what theyre saying.


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shubunkin
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27 Feb 2014, 4:53 pm

Exactly !

Happens most days to me. I need to repeat the words in my head to get it or even write them down if they are instructions…

the words just end up as sounds.here is a good explanation of what I think it is for me:

http://thebrilliantdyslexic.com/auditory-dyslexia/ my spelling in english is ok, but I can't formulate sentences easily and I have most of the other symptoms hope this helps ! :lol:



shubunkin
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27 Feb 2014, 4:54 pm

Exactly !

Happens most days to me. I need to repeat the words in my head to get it or even write them down if they are instructions…

the words just end up as sounds.here is a good explanation of what I think it is for me:

http://thebrilliantdyslexic.com/auditory-dyslexia/ my spelling in english is ok, but I can't formulate sentences easily and I have most of the other symptoms hope this helps ! :lol: