How much eye contact is the correct amount?

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When someone is talking to me, I notice that they stare at me the whole time. Am I supposed to stare back?

It may seem they're staring at you, but people advising HFAs who are trying to improve their social skills will tell you "Do NOT stare. Do NOT over-do it with the eye contact."

The people you think are staring may just be looking at you more often than you're comfortable with, so it seems you're being stared at.

As for "How much is right?", that's the problem.

There are no rules.

We'd like there to be, but the plain simple fact is how much eye contact will vary from one person to another, what the subject being discussed is, what point is being made, how much of an impact the other person is trying to make at that moment...

There are all sorts of variables.

My suggestion?

Talk to a counselor about this to get some pointers, and in the meantime try making eye contact a LITTLE more often than you're comfortable with, and see how it goes.

I mean, maybe someone out there has done a visual study and analyzed how people handle eye contact when conversing, but I've never heard of such a study.

I think I got this one figured out. If you do it long enough to feel creepy. It is too long. However, I got a job from a guy who was a sociopath (that didn't go over well). People always say you should make eye contact in an interview. This guy stared into my eyes for almost the whole interview. I did the same. I didnt know what the heck I was doing, or what he was saying most of the time, because I was obsessing about this guy staring into my eyes. Apparently sociopaths just do that. Creepy. I got the job. After working there for a while, I figured he did that unpurpose because he was looking for someone like him to do that job. He always thought I was like him. A sociopath!! ! When I finally noticed I was surrounded by them, the mental abuse was too unbearible. I had to go. That place really screwed my head up. I like the asian ideals. They say eye contact can be disrespectful, and a wise man always keeps his head down.

I noticed that some people's eyes just stare stare stare at you without looking anywhere else, like their eyes are abnormally still during social interaction. Mine are the opposite, always moving around, but during non-social tasks, I stare stare stare without blinking.

The staring people...

I wonder if they could be undiagnosed Aspies, or maybe just serial killers.

Probably serial killers, the kind waiting to kill me (and maybe you too) on each floor of each parking garage in the world, as my mother thinks there are.

Well, I'm certainly glad we got THAT straightened out.

Yep. Either they are serial killers, or they just wonder who is. They know there is one out there, because people think just like they do. So they are for ever watching. Staring. Without blinking. thinking. Which one?

When just speaking to one person I don't have a problem with eye contact, it's pretty easy to determine how much is right dependant on the other person and the situation. Even if I'm blind to the fact that I'm getting it wrong most of the time, being confident is enough to carry me so that I don't perceive it to be a problem. I actually find eyes quite fascinating, I like to notice the little details and flaws that make each person's eyes and gaze unique.
(also makes sense from the perspective of someone who has been the victim of violence. If I notice a sudden dilation I know I need to get ready to guard or pre-empt. On rare occasions this same dilation means I'm about to get laid, or the lights suddenly went out )

I can however be a bit of a pervert and I'll often see how long I can hold a person's gaze without one or both of us getting creeped out. (they're usually worth having as friends if they don't get creeped out by this AND they can do the 'comfortable silence' thing with you too) Not sure if that makes me a sociopath, but I'm aware of my issues (as far as I can be in my FOV) with non-verbal communication and I find myself studying the non-verbal communication of others. Some people, both sexes have mistakenly thought I was attracted to them because of the intensity of my gaze, I'm sure others have just assumed I was crazy or something.

More than one person is where I have problems that can't just be laughed-off. I 'become' more autistic in groups if you will, as my stress levels rise and I lose my grace and practised good humour. Who's eyes should I look at? How do people 'share' eye contact when participating in group conversations or activities?

Nightmare. One at a time, please

That's a good question. I was never able to figure that one out.

Eye contact the whole time sounds a little strange. Usually people break it to look off to the side or above now and then, but I don't think there's a strict rule about how often or for how long. I do about every 15-30 seconds and I get along fine in work settings.

Depends on the circumstances. Spending the evening looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman is a good thing.

So that people don't act strangely I rarely make eye contact, if at all.
I do this so that people will not make group communication more difficult than it is, for example, when I made eye contact with somebody in singular conversation, and then didn't in group conversation they might point this out and then I would have to explain it to them.
I do not like this possibility.
I think no eye contact is the best amount.

There are cultures that look down on eye contact, possibly when a younger person is talking to someone older than them. For the most part, tho', not making eye contact is viewed as rude, inattentive, and suggests you feel guilty about something, causing the other person to get suspicious about you.

"No eye contact" is NOT the best amount. You have to take into account the other person, not just yourself.

I am taking into account the other person. When I do this, I weigh up my relationship with the person, the possibilities and how much discomfort it will cause me if I make prolonged eye contact.
Often discomfort wins out.

I went on a run with my brother in law yesterday, he kept trying to make eye contact with me. To the point that he was standing in my way. When you still don't, I believe people may think there is something wrong. But no, it is just me.