Might not be able to relate to other aspies.

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I don't think I'd know what to say to another aspie in real life,and would probably have a hard time relating.I've only met one other person with Aspergers that I know of and she seemed a lot less high functioning than myself.

Before I was diagnosed at 16 it was obvious that I was different,but I was never held to a different standard.Since I was diagnosed I have pretty much kept the diagnosis to myself and mostly try to fly under the radar and do as well as I can in an NT world.It's not easy for me though.I have pretty bad depression,and my anxiety/social anxiety is horrible.And I had a tough home life growing up etc. which probably messed me up a little more.

I think it would be especially hard for me to relate to someone who knew since childhood that they had AS and were treated special by their parents and schools,and were given resources for helping to cope.

What makes you think you aren't able to relate to other aspies? There's plenty of users here that have been diagnosed after their childhood and I'm sure that's also the case in real life with meeting other aspies. Depression and social anxiety aren't uncommon among aspies.

I think I relate best to people who are on the same narrow range of the spectrum as me: not diagnosed until adulthood, but have never been functional enough to succeed in jobs, marriage, or friendship. People who have the same life experience as me generally understand where I'm coming from, and how I feel.

But I actually really enjoy WP, because I feel like I'm 'middle of the pack' in terms of functioning. Some are affected more severely than me, but others manage to live fairly normal lives – it's an interesting blend!

I know that depression and social anxiety aren't uncommon for aspies.I guess what I was getting at there was that I just push through it and any other problem so I don't seem weak or "special" and get pointed out and targeted by "normal" people.

Like I said though,the only other person with AS that I ever met wasn't as high functioning as me.And I'm just completely used to interacting with "normal" people,and barely passing myself off as one of them.And I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel good when an NT compliments me in some way or gives me props for something or considers me a friend.

If I was removed from NT contact and made to live with and around only people with AS I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I can relate to that.

Diagnosed at 32, did well at school, I was never held to a lower standard either. Hell, I was even used as a model for my younger siblings to aspire to be.

Depression. Check.
Anxiety. Check.
Troubled upbringing. Check.

I can also relate to anxieties about not being able to relate to other Aspies. There's one in my family, diagnosed. He's harder to speak to than any of the NT people I know.

I know someone who is a couple years older than me with a more severe case of AS (my friend's older brother, in fact), and while I can relate to some of the issues he seems to exhibit, when I actually try communicating with him, there is definitely a major disconnect. The main ways in which I can relate to him is that we're both socially awkward, we both had trouble in school, and we both have "special" interests that we can go on and on about. The main differences we have are that he is way more creative and "childlike" than I am, and he is not well-versed in communicating with NTs. Myself on the other hand, I am not very artistically creative whatsoever, and from years of conditioning and having to deal with NTs, I am much better versed in communicating with them.

Sometimes, I actually wish I was more like him, not only so that I could be much more creative and artistic, but also so that I would be "awkward" enough that people would just leave me alone and not expect me to conform to NT society. He lives on government assistance with "rich" (well, rich enough to afford overseas trips anyway) parents, and he has all sorts of cool toys, books, and gadgets. Myself, I work 32 hours a week, I have very few possessions of any worth (though tons and tons of old computer parts and other near-worthless crap), I rent a room in a friends basement because neither of my parents want me to live with them, and I don't stick out so much like a sore thumb.

I feel bad for being jealous of this guy, and for merely writing about him because I know that he's not done anything wrong, and that a casual reader may take the things I've written about him as an attack on him. I'm not meaning to attack him or imply that he's a bad guy, I'm just jealous of him for being in a better situation and for being more of an "aspie" than me.

I just remembered and don't know how I could forget that I actually was friends for a few years with a guy who was also diagnosed with AS.We weren't very alike.He was more of a weirdo and and had less friends than me though he somehow managed to do well(much better than me) with the opposite sex.He always acted like a tough guy but would literally cry whenever a girlfriend broke up with him.And he wrote a lot of mostly dark poetry.And he listened to hardcore and death metal almost exclusively.

Depression? Check
Anxiety? Check
Troubled upbringing? Check
Suicidal? Check
AvPD? Check
Able to relate to my fellow aspies? I'll find out once I start going out to Aspie meetup groups like I'm supposed to.
Feel at home on Wrong Planet? Check

@Redrobin,I had no idea there were meet up groups.Hmmm.

I can actually relate to all of this. Nobody in real life even knows I'm autistic (some might assume it, I don't know). I've only met one other person who has AS and that was for a very short time.

Andras,that makes me wonder.Not sure if I really really want to know but I wonder just how normal or not so normal people think I am.

am severely classic autistic,also have diagnosed learning [USA=intelectual] disability and can relate to aspies in different ways,we all woudnt be on here if we didnt find some connection otherwise.

todays adult HFAs/aspies are not young enough to have really benefited from support,accomodation and understanding in their youth,its not that long HFA has really been understood; perhaps many will have been misdiagnosed,some may have been wrongly placed in EBD special schools and taught wrongly around fellow kids that will have taught them wrong behaviors.

having 'support' in youth doesnt mean we automaticaly grow up in any particular way,such as being spoilt and babied.
those of us on the low functioning spectrum of the autism spectrum;which creates high support needs still didnt get proper support or understanding,am diagnosed with lifelong severe reactive attachment disorder on top of the autism because family neglected to support properly;they didnt know how back then.

in terms of school support we were just housed in awful schools that didnt properly understand our needs and difficulties;it was one size fits all teaching and we were assumed to be non functional and more in need of control and baby minding than theraputic teaching, was thrown against walls and tables in rough restraint plus physicaly abused with their hands and rulers throughout the day every day by teachers in the infant and junior school of mine despite corporal punishment having long been banned and not surprisingly had been very violent towards the teachers,fellow students for being bullied by them and the school environment.

at school was left at the same table with another girl who also had intelectual disability and was also assumed to be pointless teaching;am in contact with her now and she is doing well although has depression from her mum dying;she is completely independant [though fcks it up a lot],her mum was also an alcoholic up until she died and despite her intelectual disability she was left to bring up her young sister whilst her mum got wasted in the house.

people always think its easier for one group or another because they think they got something they didnt, but they dont realise that
things always come with a price.

Depression? I've struggled with it for years. Check.

Anxiety? I've struggled with it nearly my whole life. Check

Troubled upbringing? My parents weren't the best, but they weren't the worst. School kind of messed me up though. Check.

Suicidal? I've gone through periods where I've thought a lot about it, though I don't think I could actually do it.

AvPD? I tend to avoid other people, and I don't like being around others for long periods of time, though I'm not completely antisocial. I'll have to do more research on AvPD.

Able to relate to my fellow aspies? The ones I've met online? Yes. The ones I've interacted with in real life? I haven't met too many of them, but the ones I've met seem harder to communicate with than NTs, and because of this I have a harder time getting to know them, and thus "relating" with them. I can certainly relate to their issues however, though this is more from my own observations rather than anything I've actually discussed with them.

Feel at home on WrongPlanet? For the most part. WP is the only forum I'm really active on nowadays, mainly because it's the only one where I feel I can freely talk about my life and the issues I have, and be taken seriously. Other forums simply have too many NTs and other "normal" people, who don't talk about, care about, or have the same issues.

Thank you KingdomOfRats.That was very enlightening.

I wonder whether Aspies or more typical people have an easier time recognizing when someone has autism. Doesn't matter, though, reality being no one wears a sign, and certainly for you MikeD3 people may sometimes notice something seems off, sometimes not. Remember it is the same for others. Many times, especially if you only know the person superficially, It may be hard to know who has Aspergers or autism. For others it may be obvious at a glance. People vary a lot.

And once you know someone well, anyone, labels disappear. Or they should.

Another thing I should have said is that I have a hard time fitting in with anybody at all really.I'm pretty isolated(not geographically)and pretty much have my own culture at this point.I've yet to meet anyone who has even 1/10 as many of the same interests as me.

Probably most of the media I like is "old-school" and most of my musical taste is inspired by my father's taste in music.Sometimes when people come to my house to hang out(doesn't happen often) they seem shocked that I have a turntable and a bunch of vinyl records in my bedroom.And I'm one of 2 people around that I have seen who is more than a little bit into car audio.