A list of why I am never getting married

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I thought it would be useful for some people on WP to get a list of why I am never getting married. Do you agree with any of this?

1. I view marriage as permanent. Filing for divorce would be shameful for me
2. People change all the time, who says a nice pretty woman can't turn into a drug addict psychopath?
3. I get sick of people no matter what, even my own family. The longer I am around someone the more sick of them I get.
4. I feel pressured to get married, and whenever I feel pressured to do something, I tend not to do it well, or at all.
5. I'm afraid my wife won't like things about me I can't change (AS Syndrome mainly)
6. I think I'm bad at being social
7. I think I'm bad at being intimate
8. I think straight women talk too much
9. I think straight women are too emotional
10. I think straight women take things the wrong way all the time
11. I'm afraid I will take things the wrong way
12. I think women with houses throw freak tantrums about how clean their house is
13. I think married women throw freak tantrums about doing "all the work themselves" when often times they are the one with the lesser job
14. I think married women are praised for getting a divorce for "not being happy" while men are shamed for getting a divorce
15. I think after a while, married women start getting physically unattractive for their partner and I'm afraid I will feel as if my spouse deceived me from the first moment I looked at her (fat married women)
16. Lots of women are femi-nazis
17. I think women lie about not wanting kids and will do anything to get kids, like poking holes in condoms
18. I think married women try to control and manipulate their partner by refraining from sex

Some of those reasons are good but by the end they get pretty insulting. The part about married women in particular. It all sounds like a bunch of paranoid assumptions to me.
There's really nothing wrong with being a feminist if you know what I feminist is. We're not all so militant and men hating.

No. 14 doesn't sound too bad. You could be right there.

The reasons why I don't want to get married is
1. It would be difficult to even get a date
2. My partner could end up being controlling or violent
3. I'm not very romantic/intimate
4. I think NT males are too emotional

I don't want kids at all. I have autism, ADHD, possible bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety and social phobia. I don't want to pass that all onto my kid. Also, I don't feel financially secure enough. I don't even think it's fair to date someone with all my mental health problems.

- In what way did you think the list would be useful to some WP members?
- What do points 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16 & 17 have to do with marriage?
- I semi-agree with point 2 (people can change), I do not agree with point 16 (depending what you mean exactly), and I have no idea about the rest as I can't agree on whether you think something or not, as I don't know you.

So basically you're afraid to take risks and you have some weird misconceptions about straight women/any and all women?

Useful for what?

At first I didn't see how anyone could disagree with your reasons for not getting married but by the time I'd got to the end of the list I saw it.

I'm just posting for my own amusement. My reasons for not getting married? (why not eh?)
1) I think the set of people who want me and the set of people who I want do not intersect.

You have to go out and take risks in order to learn social skills.. why even worry about marriage? it's about the women you're getting married to, not a plethora of unrelated stereotypes. Worry about finding a woman to have a meaningful relationship with first, if you can, all those prove to just be stereotypes based on what you've seen or heard.

Half of them don't even make sense or just sound ridiculously misogynistic though.

Sums up my feelings exactly. The women I'm attracted to (traditional, feminine) are generally repulsed by me and the women attracted to me are either too old (I'm talking late 30s) or way too much into the hipster/alternative lifestyles. I thought I was bad at being intimate and social too as a 29 year old virgin but you pick up on those things VERY quickly in a relationship. I was also worried that my 'dominant' streak might mean I might scare off a woman but it turns out many actually appreciate that side of me.

Bottom line: just relax and stop worrying so much. I would have never in a million years said I wanted kids a few years ago but now I look on with envy and the guys I know who have kids. Things change for the better too.

OK before I make any responses to any of your statements, what I will say now is this - there are in which I do agree and some in which I strongly disagree. If my opinions come off as strong, please don't think I am having a go, I am just a very honest person with very limited time to write this post. Is that a picture of you in your avatar? If so, you look relatively young and I have never been one to think it a good idea to marry young as you need to live some form of a life on your own first before committing yourself to one person. I believe this makes you a better rounded and more experienced individual. Anyhow here goes:

I also view marriage as permanent. This is why I am 31 and still unmarried. I am engaged to be married though but just not in too much of a hurry to see it through (I'm no bridezilla basically). It has taken me all this time to find someone I can trust, love and want to spend the rest of my life with.



This is a fair point, people can sometimes drastically change, but I don't think this occurs too often (not in my experience anyhow). This is the whole point of getting to know people over a long period of time, but then in point 3, you mention this.



This could be a problem for getting to know someone over a long period of time. I used to be like this, but as I got older, I was able to tolerate others a bit better in some ways, but not in others. It's like my getting sick of people became more focused...



You need to learn not to feel pressured by whatever is causing you to feel this way. You are your own person. I don't tend to care about others' expectations of me anymore. If they are so unhappy with their lives as to deflect their own dissatisfaction upon me and make me feel like I'm not living mine correctly, then that's their issue, not mine.



Surely, she chose to become your wife because she can accept these things about you? I mean, ok, everyone has to make a compromise in a relationship or a marriage, including yourself. But if you don't tend to socialise or are not overly intimate, then this is something that she would learn early on and, if she didn't like it then, she won't become your wife later. I can't personally see the benefit in marrying someone you don't feel you should be with...



I'm not entirely sure where you have got these ideas from, I think this is very stereotypical. I know a lot of women to be chatty, yes, but I also know a lot of women to be quite reserved, regardless of whether they are straight or gay.



I think a lot of people are guilty of that at some point during a relationship, regardless as to whether or not they have AS. I just think that, perhaps, we do tend to misunderstand others more frequently, but again, this is something your partner should be understanding of.



Some of these comments are really quite mysogynistic. It would appear from this that you see women as second class citizens to think stuff like that. If this is how you feel then this is solely your problem and not anyone elses. What do you mean by 'lesser job' exactly? Men are not expected to hold down full time jobs whilst looking after their kids full time as well - women are - this is the pressure society puts on us, how is that 'lesser'? P.S. I am a departmental manager for biotechnological pharmaceutical firm and I am a woman, just saying. I just do not understand this remark at all. As to point 15, some women may get bigger as they get older, but so do some guys. We don't then say that we have been 'deceived' in any way. And some guys lose their hair as well, but hey, that's just a fact of life. You have an extreme percetion of the opposite sex here that I find unfathomable. That would be like me saying 'all men are bastards who like to sleep with any woman they can get and then discard them afterwards'. While there are men like that out there, not all of them treat women like this and this is something of which I am very aware of. Like I said, it looks like you are very young from your avatar and it would seem you have a lot learn. Maybe in time you may choose to get married and your percetion may (hopefully) change because, as you stated wisely in point 2, people change all the time.

If that's how you feel about women, then I agree it's best that you never marry one.

I never plan on marrying because of my parents.

They're almost at 50 years, and they fight all the time.

I've seen good marriages, but this shows me what it's like when it doesn't work well but you won't divorce.

Odds of me finding someone I'm compatible with to spend the rest of my life with without all the needless drama doesn't look good to start with.

Surely the sensible thing to do is to find a woman who doesn't do those things?

Me and my wife never went on a date, we met online and had known each other a good long while before meeting in person. So when we did it was funny like we had already been in a relationship for years heh.

I said a lot of these same things, I also swore I'd never have a kid. Guess what your life changes, you get chances or find the right person, things happen. I'd recommend you stay open to what could happen, and don't pass up something that feels right just because it violates your rules.

I could see the logic behind the start of the reasons.
But then they became misogynistic generalizations which were not founded on logic as some people may do these but the majority don't and it is illogical to assume everyone does.
Are you religious?
I am not asking because of the sexist comments but because of the fact you said marriage was permanent for you.

This list makes me sad. This was pretty sexist and gross generalization. For instance, I bet you will find few girls (if any) that want to be housewives and let the husband do the "greater job" so that they complain about doing all the work.
about people changing that's true, also true that if you don't feel like being intimate and sharing things with another person and having to interact to an extent almost all days of your life then it's better not to get married.

marriage is obsolete.

I don't need a list just one reason is enough. Im autistic!