Meltdowns unstoppable?

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Can you stop a meltdown when you feel it coming on (if so, how?) Or is it unstoppable?

I'm thinking unstoppable . . . perhaps just preparing for it and trying to get through it as smoothly as possible is the only thing you can do.

once a meltdown has started, it cannot be stopped until it has run its course, otherwise it is a tantrum.

I tend to agree, as far as I am concerned at least. Once it has started, it is too late.

However, I can now more and more often have some kind of feeling of when a meltdown is likely to happen and take some preventive action (usually isolating myself, when it is not possible and/or too late taking an anxiolytic).

This is probably the best thing I got from having my diagnosis. Meltdowns were ruining my life and making myself constantly guilty. Seriously, I thought I was getting crazy. Now I understand what they are, I can do some prevention, when they happen I can do some damage control afterwards, and even if I still experience them I feel proud of trying to do something about it and do my best to live in a weird world instead of feeling guilty and deprecating myself.

ouroborosUK, what did you have to do to get diagnosed? I see my regular doctor often enough and tell him what I struggle with and see a psychologist monthly and no one seems to see the need to put me in a position to be diagnosed with aspergers. Maybe I don't have it, but when someone biting on sunflower seeds is physically painful to me to hear, something is not right.

I think it depends on the person, and the trigger.

My sister and younger son regularly had meltdowns; so did my cousin . My sister was as an adult diagnosed with PMDD; I was misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder, type II; my son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS; my cousin was diagnosed with hyperactivity before they called it ADD, which is also a matter of neurobiology.

From the outside looking in, my sister's, cousin's and son's meltdowns generally do not "come from nowhere." Usually, I could tell pretty early on in the situation if it had "meltdown" written all over it. If I could intervene to change the "tone" of the situation, course of the conversation, remove an element from the situation, etc., the meltdown was avoided and expressed as frustration which was then resolved entirely or understood as a situation which could not be changed.

My sister's meltdowns became much better when she was diagnosed with PMDD and put on antidepressants. She still has them when overly stressed.

My cousin still has them.

My son still has them, too, but nothing like when he was a young child.

My mom and dad have them frequently. They trigger each other, will neither recognize nor learn to avoid each other's triggers, and it's one of the "mutually aggressive" dynamics of their relationship. I think my dad deliberately pokes my mom's buttons because he thinks it's funny to see her blow up, and because her meltdowns serve as distractions from his own bad behavior. When I was a child, I felt like my parents' meltdowns did come from nowhere; now I recognize otherwise but don't feel responsible for doing anything to mitigate them.

I have them on rare occasion. From my perspective, by the time I've had the meltdown, people have ignored several occasions in which I have given them fair warning, or they've done their best to interfere with my attempts to change the situation so I don't become overwhelmed (either with sensory input or emotionally). I take an antidepressant (Effexor) and have learned to avoid certain types of people or remove myself from certain situations.

My coworker (who is also not officially diagnosed but definitely on the spectrum) does not have the ability to "read" a situation, so he and I are figuring out what we need to say, to let each other know where we are emotionally. He needs to hear "this is no longer a philosophical debate" and by the time we've reached near-meltdown, I can manage something more akin to a BDSM safeword. When I remove myself from the situation, no matter how clearly I communicate that I'm just going away for right now, or don't want to talk about this topic any more, it triggers responses in him that stem from abandonment and feeling as though he has not been validated.

Since we like each other and we like our jobs, we're in the process of figuring out what works for us in the workplace.

Last edited by MissMaria on 17 Mar 2014, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

When I considered I may have Asperger I started looking at books and web sites and collecting data on my behaviour and how it related to autism.
Then I spoke about it with my therapist. I gave her the document with the data I had collected (it was 10+ pages, I was a bit obsessed).
She told me it was interesting and although she was not a specialist I should probably have an assessment if I was interested in having more information about that from a medical perspective.
Then I spoke about it with my GP, I told him I thought I may have Aspergers and I explained him why, giving detailed examples. (I didn't give him the 10 pages document but I gave him another much shorter document I had prepared with the DSM-4 criteria for Aspergers and how I thought I matched it.) He quite easily agreed to refer me.
Then about 3 weeks later I met the NHS psychologist and after a few interviews I got my diagnosis.

I wrote an account of most of my journey in that thread and then that one when I got the diagnosis; I hope they may help you. Feel free to ask me by PM if you think I may be of any help.

Also the national autistic society has very good advice on the topic.

It depends. They come in levels of severity.
There are many times I have been talked down if is a meltdown with a slower fuse.
My cousin is best at handling me with meltdowns and my friend too.
But if it is short fuse full scale meltdown a tranquilizer dart is about all the will make it stop.
Fortunately most of my worst meltdowns mean me curling up in a ball and just being really loud.
But I can also go completely ballistic and on a rampage.
Fortunately I'm really small (4'11") so it's easier to pin me down.
Don't have much recollection of them after, just know what have been told.

If I feel its coming, its still stoppable, but once its there, its sadly there.

Can you stop a meltdown when you feel it coming on (if so, how?)

If it is possible, I will remove myself from the situation and go somewhere to isolate myself. Then when alone, I will try to calm myself down. or if I cannot, I will just continue and end up having the meltdown, but at least I will be by myself, and won't have anyone see it. (but I may still be upset and snap at people...)

Or is it unstoppable?

Once it starts, you CANNOT (or at least I cannot) stop it..

Like many people here, I can sometimes prevent one if I feel it coming on, but once it's started, it needs to run its course.

Well, I guess I'm in the preventative stage right now. I think it could go either way, but I'm bracing for it. I just hate having them . . . it's so exhausting.

I think it is hinging on the results of a job interview I had a week ago. I know I shouldn't focus on one thing as life is unpredictable, but if I don't get it I'm just not sure what my next move is going to be.

Sometimes stoppable, if there's someone who cares, and if it's possible to get what I want, like relief from confusion or an impossible situation. Or if I can get away quickly. Otherwise melting or shutting down are inevitable, though if no one asks too much of me sometimes I can hide that I've shut down from others. Not sure that's good for me, but I've learned to cover in predictable situations some. Still takes a long time to recover. And even if I can stop a public display I'm exhausted and usually shut down for hours after once I get alone.

It seems my meltdown is already in progress. Still haven't heard about the job, but either way I'm going to lose it. Just too much stress. My current plan is to navigate it and try and hurt myself as little as possible.