Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Harmless Autism Jokes

Page 1 of 10 [ 160 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 10  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

20 Mar 2014, 5:40 am

READ: I'm creating this thread out of happiness, though despite my signature, I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by this thread and understand if it's locked/removed. If you don't understand a joke I'll provide the meaning, and if you personally find one distasteful please PM me with few sentences explaining why and I'll remove it no questions asked. I haven't seen these jokes anywhere before (though chances are at least some exist already).

------------------------------------

1. An Aspie walks into a bar.
- Literally.

2. After handing over a $10 note for an item that cost $7, an autistic ran away empty handed.
- Turns out they couldn't handle the change.

3. Which company role causes autistics to experience dysfunction?
- Executive

4. Why would autistics make the best Starcraft Marines?
- They both stim

5. If it's true that Aspies are cold, then I guess you could say they can't stand hot weather..
- ..because they will melt-down

------------------------------------

Please share if you have any. I'm taking a risk posting this so I don't want to appear evil. ;P


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

20 Mar 2014, 5:48 am

Those are very cute I like them. I don't understand the one about the Marines though. How does the word stim affect Marines? And I don't know what Starcraft Marines are. I imagine a starcraft is like a space shuttle or something and I know what the Marine Corps and the Merchant Marines are but I don't know the word Starcraft Marine. You can pm me the explanation if you don't want to put the dots together publicly! :0)


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

20 Mar 2014, 5:56 am

skibum wrote:
Those are very cute I like them. I don't understand the one about the Marines though. How does the word stim affect Marines? And I don't know what Starcraft Marines are. I imagine a starcraft is like a space shuttle or something and I know what the Marine Corps and the Merchant Marines are but I don't know the word Starcraft Marine. You can pm me the explanation if you don't want to put the dots together publicly! :0)


Thanks! XD

Starcraft is an incredibly popular RTS game; it is a national sport in Korea. Marines are one of the game's core & renowned units. They have an ability called 'Stimpack' which temporarily boosts their combat effectiveness. It was one of the most powerful abilities in the game, and everyone referred to using it as 'stim' or 'stimming'.

Link for reference - Click


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

20 Mar 2014, 7:48 am

I liked no. 2 in particular.

What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,366
Location: UK

20 Mar 2014, 7:52 am

I have a photographic memory.

It just needs developing.


_________________
We have existence


sharkattack
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,101

20 Mar 2014, 8:24 am

As regards those jokes I dare you to look me in the eye when you say them. :lol:



bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

20 Mar 2014, 9:08 am

Cute jokes LOL



Wind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 526
Location: UK

20 Mar 2014, 9:29 am

These are great :D


_________________
Your Aspie score: 187 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
AQ: 43
Empathy Quotient: 8
I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.


linatet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 934
Location: beloved Brazil

20 Mar 2014, 11:46 am

I liked this topic but I didn't understand number 1.

Quote:
What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.

this one is great :lol:



Douglas_MacNeill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,326
Location: Edmonton, Alberta

20 Mar 2014, 11:48 am

*imitating Fozzy Bear*
Wocka wocka wocka!



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

20 Mar 2014, 12:29 pm

I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


_________________
Drain and plane and grain and blain your brain, and then again,
Propane and butane out of the gas main, your blain shall sustain!


Halfmadgenius
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 666

20 Mar 2014, 1:08 pm

I always use to say "an aspie walked in to a bar. Ouch!"

Q. How do you spot the extroverted aspie?
A. He is staring at your shoes.



LupaLuna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,551
Location: tri-cities WA

20 Mar 2014, 1:20 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


Black people call themselves "n****rs" all the time and they find no offense in doing that. I think as autistic people. Making jokes about are selves I would think would be less offensive then for an NT to crack an autistic joke.



Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

20 Mar 2014, 1:22 pm

linatet wrote:
I liked this topic but I didn't understand number 1.
Quote:
What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.

this one is great :lol:


Number 1 means that the person with Asperger's walked into a bar/pole. I used the word 'literally' because it's common for Aspies to be very literal.

btbnnyr wrote:
I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


That's ok. Personally I don't really laugh at jokes such as those myself, but they amuse me and make me feel happy.


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


LupaLuna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,551
Location: tri-cities WA

20 Mar 2014, 1:32 pm

Q: How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It "literally" takes just one.



ouroborosUK
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 291
Location: France

20 Mar 2014, 6:02 pm

I love them :) Especially the 1 and 2, and 3 is quite great too. Thank you Norny and others.

Independently from the fact that it is about AS, that is exactly the kind of word-based humour that can make me burst into laughter but that most of the people I know will find mildly amusing.

It looks like the people here have fairly different senses of humour so it is probably abusive to speak of an "aspie sense of humour", but still, I sometimes wonder if there is something like that.


_________________
ouroboros

A bit obsessed with vocabulary, semantics and using the right words. Sorry if it is a concern. It's the way I think, I am not hair-splitting or attacking you.