Obsessions with people/friends?

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I wondered:

1. If anyone has had any experience struggling with an obsession with a person who is not a celebrity?
2. How do you know when the obsession becomes inappropriate?
3. How do you deal with it?

I rarely disclose this to anyone as I am afraid it is creepy and bad, but for the last few years I have had an obsession with a friend. I acquired this friend as I had seen them around and they had smiled at me, so one day I knocked on their dorm door and asked if I could talk to them because I was lonely. This person then invited me to go out with them and their friends - I don't see them much now as I moved, but they still invite me every now and again. I have heard this person's friends comment on how this person is likeable, but very odd. I think it is the oddness that keeps me fascinated. I have written down every thing this person has said to me (and everything I have heard other people say about them), and attempted to analyse their speech, expressions, body language, interests and characteristics - I probably have a books-worth of writing dedicated to them. I do not stalk this person, and I rarely contact them unless they contact me first, as I am aware of resisting the want to contact them all the time to get more information, so I don't as I don't want to drive them away or make them suspect that I am obsessed. However I wonder whether writing down everything they say is inappropriate? I think I would be a bit freaked out if I realised a friend had been writing down and analysing everything I said :/ It feels like a compulsion though - I don't particularly enjoy the obsession as it quickly got to the point where the compulsive thinking about this person during the long periods of time when I don't see them, reading what I have written about them and recording more when I do see them, became uncomfortable. However because I am fascinated and it has taken up quite a lot of my mind for so long, the idea of letting it go somehow scares me.

Also, it occurred to me that if this was a celebrity I was writing down everything I could find out about them, watching videos of them every day or even pasting my bedroom walls with pictures of them, then that wouldn't be classed as creepy would it? I have heard lots of people, especially teenagers, have obsessions with celebrities, and this is seen as 'normal' behaviour, nothing to be worried about? Yet, when it is a friend/non famous person, it sounds a bit creepy right? This I find weird, as I don't see why an obsession with a famous person is any less creepy just because they are famous.

I don't usually read a wall of text but in this case I did because your post is interesting.

I have been told that I latch onto people I now know this is because I crave human contact even though I am bad at it.

I understand why you are doing what you are doing but to be honest it does come across as a bit creepy and if that person ever found out they would not be happy.

-shudders-

Just don't let anybody find out. You're obsessed and you can't help it.

1) I don't know whether I have experienced this, but I have become intrigued by a person (maybe in the way people become interested in famous people, I'm not sure).
2) I suppose it might be considered inappropriate, although I know it isn't if the person is famous (I don't understand why this is so, either), but I'm pretty sure it would be considered inappropriate if the person is not famous as I have not heard anyone else mention experiencing this...
3) Can't really think of a way of 'dealing with it'. Perhaps you could try 'weaning yourself off' writing things down, etc. Maybe by writing a bit less each time? I don't know, that might not be a good idea.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

I understand why you do this and many people do similar things. It can be a little creepy but there are things that are worse.

As long as you can keep it under control and not let on to the person and creep them out.

From my own experience, I'm curious about people in general. Maybe it's a woman AS thing, because women are supposed to be more sociable? I've read Aspie women try harder than Aspie men to fit in, because more is expected of us and that even if we do better than Aspie men, we're still found lacking compared to NT women. I study people to find out how they talk, what they say in various situations. Even now, when I can handle myself in some social situations, I feel like I'm channeling my mom, who was good at it. Are you analyzing it to be more like him, or to know how he talks in various situations?

Another thing I do that might be off, if I know someone well enough to know where they are at a certain time of week, sometimes it occurs to me during that time period. IE, well, Person A is in Church right now, Person B is at her job at (location). I picture them there in my mind.

I went to see a Broadway show a few years back and on the posters outside it said the star would be in the play until a certain date and a co-star would be appearing through a certain date. So for the rest of the time they were in that play, sometimes I'd think about how they were on stage right that very minute (high probability, unless sick or something ) doing this, singing that. I'm not following their careers or checking them out online or anything. But because I knew where they would be for a certain period of time, I would think about it.

For me, if I can place some people where they are and think of what they're doing, it gives me a sense of satisfaction.

Weird, but harmless, I guess. Unless I would start showing up at the Church/workplace/etc. and watch them, which I wouldn't do.

I am like this too with some people. For me it is weird though because it gives me a sense of safety more than a sense of satisfaction. In fact, one person who is close to me always tells me every time he travels where he is going and when he is leaving and returning. And if he is planning to do something there like ski or something he always tells me that too. For some reason that helps me.

I obsess about "people" and "normal," and trust me, that's bad as it is. Bit of advice, don't do it.
Also, I've read about a lot of situations people have had in this forum with obsessing about specific people in their lives, and it most often turned out really bad.

And now for a joke: Just don't go collecting the things that didn't flush down."

All joking aside, I don't "want" people at this point, I "need" people around right now in order to survive, and I think a person being obsessed with me would actually be beneficial right now. I guess that's probably a very unusual case and not something to hope for or expect in anyone though.

I agree with what skibum said as well (the post before mine).

Thanks for the replies. They have confirmed to me that I probably shouldn't disclose this to anyone in real life.

LookingLost - The trying to slowly cut it down is probably a good idea. The idea of just stopping cold turkey scares me so much I don't want to stop, but gradually cutting it down sounds more do-able. I think in the long-term that would be better for my mind and my friendship with that person, as I also get paranoid when with them a lot, that somehow they can sense my obsession, although I know rationally that if they had sensed it, they would probably try to avoid me.

Skibum - Thanks for saying that.

OnPorpoise - I don't think I analyse it to be more like that person, it is indeed to know how they talk in various situations, but more to do with me developing theories on how their mind may be working and why they come across as odd. In addition to that, I hadn't been involved with much social interaction when I was at school as I didn't know what to say to people, then by the time I had developed some ideas to attempt to join in, I felt like people expected me not to talk by then so it was hard to break that expectation and start talking, or I worried I would come across as fake if I suddenly appeared to change. So when I went to college where noone knew me, I solved the problem of not knowing when to talk to people, by talking to everyone. Side-track there but basically that is the reason that at college, I found the fact that I could talk to people and they’d talk back, amazing. I'd analyse every conversation I had and those I observed around me as well as the group dynamics (or as much as I could remember by the end of the day), for around two years. I struggled to let that go, as it did become like a ritual/compulsion and I couldn't go to bed until I'd got it done. So I don't know whether it's the case that I have zoned in on one person to case study now, to get more depth of detail on just one I find particularly intriguing rather than lesser detail about many. But I think that worries me – the fact that the purpose of friends isn't to use them as a case study! I do really care about them though.

Your sense of satisfaction from thinking about where people are/ thinking about them there at certain times of the week is interesting. I’m glad you don’t show up at the backs of churches to check people are there – that comment made me laugh

KWifler - Was the reason the obsessions with people topics you have read turned out really bad because it turned into stalking or the person found out? Or was the reason because it was affecting the obsessors life so much it kind of hindered it, or another reason? Just curious. I'm not sure I get your joke - is it about not being so obsessed with someone that I go looking in their toilets?

1.) Yes, a few years ago. It was a friend of a friend who became a friend of mine and a few others.
2.) It never became inappropriate other than to myself. I knew it was wrong and I struggled with it. I struggled with the thought "why am I so obsessed with this person? Why am I thinking about them daily?" Never, ever sexually (person was of the opposite sex). Just...I don't know. I always felt good in their presence, always wanted them around. The other person never knew. And I have not disclosed this to anoyone IRL.
3.) I dealt with it by just trying to divert my thoughts in other directions. I still think about this person from time to time. Definitely not daily anymore. I guess you could say time healed the obsession.

Whenever I talk to someone I try and discretely read there body language and tone of voice and always try and dig deeper about them (Eg checking out there Facebook timeline asking people about them etc) It may seem a bit creepy but if i find ways I can relate to someone like us liking the same thing it can help me get to know them better and I have actually made quite a few of my friends this way