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peaceloveerin
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04 Apr 2014, 9:57 pm

I've always felt strongly asexual. IDK if its due to sensory issues or if its the way I was born. What really gets me frustrated is when I tell people I feel asexual and their response is that I just haven't found the right guy yet and that I'll feel differently later on. I truly feel being asexual is no different than being gay or straight.



Terrodactal
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04 Apr 2014, 10:07 pm

Asexual is a sexual orientation and is as valid as any other, those who tell you that it's not are just being as*holes.

If you don't already know, it's important to note that asexual is defined by as lack of sexual attraction and isn't connected to sensory issues, and it's not the same as being aromantic. Asexuals can still be attracted to people romantically, aesthetically, and sensually.

Sorry if you knew all of that already but I thought I should inform you as you see to be questioning your place on the spectrum of sexual attraction. It's all up to you what you identify as, but you should at least be informed.

Anyways, I myself, am asexual, and I've identified with that label for years before I finally accepted that I'm autistic. One of the reasons it took me a long time to come around to my place on the autism spectrum is because I didn't want people to tell me that I'm asexual because of my autism- that's just not true.


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peaceloveerin
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04 Apr 2014, 10:11 pm

The problem is people don't believe me when I tell them I'm probably asexual. They think its a sin or something. I strongly feel that way and if people can't accept it, that's their issue.



Terrodactal
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04 Apr 2014, 10:32 pm

peaceloveerin wrote:
The problem is people don't believe me when I tell them I'm probably asexual. They think its a sin or something. I strongly feel that way and if people can't accept it, that's their issue.


Asexuality gets a bad light, when it's actually given any light, that is. But you're right, that's their issue, and you should try to not let it affect you.


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linatet
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05 Apr 2014, 6:27 am

I feel asexual too! Not completely but enough to make people realize there is something in my lack of interest in any gender and intimate contact.
just like your experience in here no one actually knows about asexuality, they think it doesn't exist. So probably some folks think I am actually gay and have a secret girlfriend or secret dates because "just not wanting intimate contact is impossible".



linatet
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05 Apr 2014, 6:35 am

Terrodactal wrote:

Anyways, I myself, am asexual, and I've identified with that label for years before I finally accepted that I'm autistic. One of the reasons it took me a long time to come around to my place on the autism spectrum is because I didn't want people to tell me that I'm asexual because of my autism- that's just not true.

interesting you commented that, it has just happened to me.
I just got my diagnosis last week. My family and I were in the beach and found a friend with her cousin that we didn't know. The cousin was from another state and was a cute guy, he seemed interested in me, started conversations and in the end asked for my cell phone. For days he tried to text me but I didn't answer.
later the family friend told her cousin was in love with me wah wah wah so my mother started a conversation. She asked if I had found him ugly, I said "no, he is handsome". "is he boring?" "no, he is nice". "so why don't you want to give him a chance?" I was like meh. She then said "it is this asperger thing isn't it? That makes you like that? Then you would want not to have it to have a boyfriend? " well... No.



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05 Apr 2014, 10:05 am

I think it's just people don't understand how others can feel different to them. I get it alot from well meaning relatives who are like, "why haven't you settled down yet?" They are concerned about me, but I feel like they don't have to be concerned. I'm not in any pain or anything. I'm ok on my own, but they don't understand.

I don't think I am 100% asexual. I just don't view romance or sex to be an overwhelmingly important part of my life. It's like how some people feel about reading novels. I love reading, but other people maybe read a novel once a year or never at all and are quiet happy with their life. I can't imagine not reading. I love it! I guess that's how they feel about sex.



linatet
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05 Apr 2014, 10:13 am

hurtloam wrote:
. I get it alot from well meaning relatives who are like, "why haven't you settled down yet?" They are concerned about me, but I feel like they don't have to be concerned.

I actually hate it. In all family gatherings my relatives ask: "where is your boyfriend?". They always ask it for girls. When it's a boy they ask: "how is college/work going?" GRRRR :evil:



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05 Apr 2014, 10:39 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
I've always felt strongly asexual. IDK if its due to sensory issues or if its the way I was born. What really gets me frustrated is when I tell people I feel asexual and their response is that I just haven't found the right guy yet and that I'll feel differently later on. I truly feel being asexual is no different than being gay or straight.


I used to think I was asexual for precisely the same reasons but then I did come across some people that I very strongly felt I wanted to have sex with (I didn't, they were just strangers I passed on the street). The fact that I was able to feel that feeling that is otherwise lacking the rest of the time told me I wasn't asexual, but that I am just not attracted sexually to most people.

What really freaks me out is those people who have to have sex every day. Like, it literally fries my brain to think about it. Bleurgh



peaceloveerin
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05 Apr 2014, 10:56 am

I truly feel its the way I was born. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone.



leafplant
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05 Apr 2014, 11:15 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
I truly feel its the way I was born. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone.


Well that will make your life easier on one hand and harder on the other. Are you still emotionally or intellectually drawn to people though?



peaceloveerin
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05 Apr 2014, 11:26 am

leafplant wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
I truly feel its the way I was born. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone.


Well that will make your life easier on one hand and harder on the other. Are you still emotionally or intellectually drawn to people though?

Not really, at least not to a guy.



leafplant
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05 Apr 2014, 11:32 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
leafplant wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
I truly feel its the way I was born. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone.


Well that will make your life easier on one hand and harder on the other. Are you still emotionally or intellectually drawn to people though?

Not really, at least not to a guy.


A girl then? Do you enjoy human contact at all?



peaceloveerin
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05 Apr 2014, 11:43 am

leafplant wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
leafplant wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
I truly feel its the way I was born. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone.


Well that will make your life easier on one hand and harder on the other. Are you still emotionally or intellectually drawn to people though?

Not really, at least not to a guy.


A girl then? Do you enjoy human contact at all?

Not intimate contact to either sex. I prefer to have people just as friends.



militarybrat
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11 Apr 2014, 8:06 pm

I consider myself non-sexual. At this point I have no interest in a sexual relationship of any type nor have I ever (I'm 28). Some people do not understand that, but sexuality is a complex and personal issue that is unique to the individual. I can't offer you much advice on dealing with those who refuse to accept that you are asexual. I have an aunt who likes to bring up the "you need to date" or "you'll find the right guy" talk every time I see her (even though I've told her many times that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship).



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11 Apr 2014, 9:43 pm

My asexuality is in fact linked to sensory issues. It doesn't make me less asexual or any more sexually attracted to anyone. But it definitely plays a role in my lack of sexual attraction.