Self Blame

Post Reply New Topic

I blame myself for a lot of things that go wrong around me. I was wondering if other Aspies do the same thing too ?

For example, I'm in college right now and am trying my best to get an internship as a research assistant in a astro-lab ( astrophysics is my major ). Even though I have tried and approached 8 different professors which did not lead to anywhere, I still blame myself for not getting a summer internship. Anyone else has a similar experience ?

Well with me in the present I tend to blame others for most things that happen to me, ( a habit I really need to oversee ), however sometimes in social failures in situations I blame myself, for having aspergers, I sometimes feel its a burden and sometimes I don't.

It seems though that looking back 2 years in the past I blame myself for a lot of bad things that happened to me, mostly for me letting them happen, and for my past views on things.

Actually, I try to be quite practical about it - if it was really my fault, then I've made a mistake and I can either make it right, or at least be aware of how it happened and avoid repeating it.

But, no, I do not blame myself for everything.

For most of my life, people have berated and verbally abused me for not living up to their standards and expectations and telling me it was all my fault and I could change if I wanted to. Because I'd never heard of Asperger Syndrome or High Functioning Autism, I just had to bite my lip and take it, but I knew they were wrong. I could not help being who I am and no amount of blaming and insulting was going to change that. I did not deserve to be called a loser just for being myself and now I can point to a neurological disorder and say "See, it's not my fault, it's wired into my brain and I have no control over it and never did."

Yeah. I can't go for more than a couple of minutes without thinking "It's all my fault".

I do the same thing your not alone on this one I even self attack about it.

I do the same when I am depressed and insecure. Very very rarely I can notice "I don't care!" about something which could busy my mind for next week of blaming myself. And then it pass by really quick. But I need to be in right mood..

If you give something your best shot, I don't see how you can blame yourself. I can understand feeling frustration about not achieving a goal, or even resentment if something out of your control contributes to it.

But while having those feelings is understandable and human, dwelling on any of those negative mind sets is going to likely be counter-productive.

Better to invest your time on planning a new approach or alternate route to a goal, or maybe even adjusting a goal. I find things in general often do not go as planned and am a firm believer in plan 'B's or even 'C's.

You don't get injured as much in falls when you stay loose. Stay flexible.

I do this allot to, I guess it's because we do things socially wrong and that applies to allot of situations!

I blame myself although I try to give myself slack. I often feel like "there is something wrong with me" and "why can't I just be normal" instead of accepting that me being different from other people is not necessarily wrong.

I've been told by my parents(especially my mom) that I blame things instead of admitting or accepting responsibility. The reality is that they never understood my Aspergers & other issues that limit me & as a result of being told things like that a lot~ I sometimes feel very guilty for things I have no control over or did the best I could with but other times I tend to disconnect myself from things or feel like anything I did wouldn't of made a difference when it may have. It's like I have Learned Helplessness & am overly sensitive sometimes.

Same here.

Yep, that's the first thing I look at when something goes awry etc.

As the oldest child and the only one on the autism spectrum, and I admit I had some behavioral challenges as well, I was usually the one to take the blame for something by default, and I think I've internalized that now. My dad still has a tendency to twist things so that somehow despite factors beyond my control, he looks for a way it could possibly be all my fault, it seems like. So while I do tend to blame myself by default, I think I've been conditioned to do so.

I used to have a constant running commentary in my head about how things are my fault. I have learned to shut it out most of the time, but no question it was a problem.