"Dating" is a headache

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Maybe some of you can relate. I have the hugest headache and feeling of despair even at the thought of dating right now. It just drains all my energy. Of course at the same time I want to date, and I would like to "put myself out there" but when push comes to shove I just shut down and do nothing instead. I don't know if it's this concurrent depression and anxiety or just all this ASD stuff, but whatever it is, it's bad.

When somebody might be interested in me, I either don't pick up on it or I pick up on it too late, panic, and want to not deal with it. I am scared because I just want to make some friends. I want those who are interested in "dating" to be interested in friendship instead because I am lonely. I get scared that even if we could be friends and date, a relationship ending could mean a friendship ending too. I am so embarrassed at the way that I interact with people. Even when I do like them, I am so embarrassed that I don't want to see them ever again. I don't want to change who I am, but I wish that I could be a bit smoother in the romance arena, a bit less confused about body language and hidden meanings, a bit more able to distinguish between hanging out as a friend or as a date, and a lot more able to recognize my own feelings.

Anybody had similar struggles? What did you do?

you are in the right place with the right people to talk to and with which to share your experience. real-time body language perception/interpretation is out of my reach, and lacking that one's only option is to hope that there is somebody else who will fill in the gap, so to speak. that didn't happen for me until my 5th decade of living, almost too late. there was a song in the 70s called "I've never been to me" which could apply to me, I had to learn to find something about me to love so I could look at my reflection in the mirror and say "hiya friend!" one has to learn to love oneself first before one can properly be mate material for anybody else.

Trial and error. Socializing with people and learning to date is an acquired knowledge. I believe there are a lot of people out there like you. Somehow you have to overcome your social anxiety and start socializing with people. I suggest meetup groups for aspergers and social anxiety a good place to start, but you still have to take initiative. If someone is interested in you, the worst thing that can happen is that they ask you out and you have to say no to them, and then they may still want to be just friends (although from my experience you cannot have a serious friendship in this case), they can be just someone you know casually. You may have negative experiences from socializing sometimes, but you should not take it to heart, since everybody sees things differently and socializing can't always be perfect.