I'm reading this book, Hawaii (a novel from the late 50s). There's this character that is written so well as an Aspie - but I'm not sure how Michener did it since even today if you ask somebody what Asperger's is they are likely to get it messed up, much less back then.
This guy (Abner) is a missionary on a ship to convert the Hawaiians to Christianity. He's such a mixture of love and total screw up obsessions and rigid thinking. Parts of it are really funny and parts of it are sad (because he tries so hard, but he is so clueless). When he was going to meet the woman he was to marry (arranged marriage), his sister wrote out a note for him that said stuff like, get washed, say hello when you meet them (the kind of stuff I sometimes wish I had someone to write out for me)!
James Michener must have known an Aspie is all I can say.
But to the point of the OP -on one hand he's running around the ship taking care of all his sick fellow missionaries, but on the other hand when his wife is so seasick that she can't listen to his big sermon, all he can understand is that she screwed up his plans.
I think a lot of what you are talking about (the bad part) comes from just being unaware, but most of us learn to be more aware at least as we get older. Probably never will be like other people, but there's that aspect of how hard we try to get it right that, when others think we are just being jerks. It's like we know something is wrong, but not what is.
I wouldn't say we're nicer or meaner though - non-Aspies can be very kind or extreme jerks also.