Who wishes to stay single, and why?

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I wish to stay single.

I wish to stay that way, because nobody could truly love and accept me, as I am. All the high-functioning people are taken. The lower-functioning guys need to be babysat. Factor in my rebellious nature. Men look for ladies. I'm not much of a lady. I'm not the soft flower that a man looks for. I'm not conservative enough to be a lady. I'm not the same person that I was, last year. I have a very heavy London Complex that I refuse to shed. I'm an emerging Punk Rocker who's heavily obsessed with Routemasters. No man would ever want me. I'm willing to accept a man that I can talk to, and that I don't have to babysit. I've had my heart broken so many times, that it's not funny.

I am between a rock and a hard place on this one. I do not socialise, I find it nigh on impossible to do anything that might put me in contact with any males... and to be truthful, the majority of males bore me... the NT males, that is. I have such specific needs that I have just about given up now. I have been in love with another aspie for 8 months but he apparently has made a decision to remain alone himself now, since he refused to speak to me altogether once he realised I was interested. It is a paradox when on the one hand, you have had dreams all your life of finding a soulmate with whom you can share a special connection, yet you have such major issues with closeness and intimacy and with losing your time alone. I am 31, and have only had 1 real boyfriend/partner and he was another aspie, and it lasted five and a half years, but even though we were both aspies, the differences were just too great and it was a painful relationship.

I wish to stay single.

Sure, I like getting together with friends now and again; some of us have an outing planned for this Sunday involving brunch, for instance. But at the end of the day, when I get home, I love the fact that I am alone. I need solitude on a regular and recurring basis in order to maintain my sanity. It wasn't until I was 21 that I had a girlfriend, and the reason I eventually broke it off was that I felt she was too demanding on my time -- She wanted me to spend more time with her and I already felt I was spending too much.

I'm over 40 and fairly set in my ways. The thought of having to share my living space with another person is a very uncomfortable one. So I remain single, and like it that way.

The only difficulty with that is the people who think there's something wrong with wanting to stay single, or insist that this will change. When I was 30, the library I worked in at the time, one of the librarians scoffed at the idea that I'd remain single, and said she'd be willing to bet that by the time I turn 40 I'd be in a stable long-term relationship, if not actually married. (I should have taken the bet. I would have won. Would have been an easy five bucks.)

Being alone isn't an option for me. It is too lonely, too depressing.

I don't wish to be single, but I shall remain so. I can't tell the difference between someone genuinely interested in me, and someone interested in playing games (this goes for friendships as well). My tendancy to be obsessive and odd tends to be off-putting. When alone I miss being with people (sometimes), when with people I wish to be alone (always). Also, I've watched various relationships my family members have gotten into disintegrate, which makes me even more paranoid about other people. God, what a mess.

For me,finding true love is a option,because i could live without it.

I don't wish to be single, well, because I am not right now and I hope things will always be this way~ :3

It's like seeing those old happy couples together that have been married for 50 years. So much time in one's life to share love and happiness with another person~

I'm single. I don't think I will remain so forever - unlike some here, I have too bright an outlook (social skills probably help here too) for me to remain on my own forever.

I wish those of you that want a boyfriend/girlfriend the very best of luck.

i know im gonna be single for the rest of my days. So i belong here

_________________


A proud son of Amager (dramatic pause) Copenhagen, Denmark

Not sure really. I like being on my own but it can get a bit boring sometimes. Although I have never had a relationship (or many friends for that matter) so I wouldn;t know any different.

no i don't wish to, but i expect to. can't socialize with people in real life.

I won't knock relationships til I try it

Everytime I get involved or try to get involved with women, they play games or lead me on.
I also crave complex, unique individuals who have a deep confidence too which is rather difficult to find. I don't really have feelings or needs to have a mate right now. I'm not sure why but thats how it is. It's not really a sad or happy thing, just nuuuuuuh, nothing, zero.. Maybe I'll get a libido or something. I'm just sick of trying right now, too much else to take care of and sort out.

This is a fascinating question, and one which evokes a shedload of ambivalences in me. There is the 1/2 of me which thinks that my piano will forever and always be a better friend to me than any beautiful, eloquent girl. I have found girlfriends (all neurotypical) to be painfully clingy (I guess most autists require a good bulk of time alone to contemplate, etch arcs of rainbowiness into their minds eyes, and study Docklands Light Railway timetables, etc), sometimes superficial and unempathisably strange. Blusher? Foundation? Topshop? You what? Then there is this credulous human fool inside me who craves affection and attention, and the lack of these things makes me feel sad sometimes. I guess autistics will forever have these hazy clouds of uncertain desire enshrouding them.

I would rather be single than be in a relationship in which I would be unhappy.

Tim