Does anybody else want social contact but not enjoy it?

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I often think that I want to be around people, to have friends. But sometimes I wonder if I really do. When I'm around other people I rarely enjoy it and I like to spend hours at a time by myself. Anybody on the spectrum have similar feelings/experiences?

No. I've lived long enough to know it's just not for me. I've had too many situations where I wish I'd just slip into a coma to escape them.

"Socialising" just isn't for me because I ain't too "Social". Never have been.

Even as a little alien, I wanted to live out in the wilderness by myself - to be by myself. I have always enjoyed my own company. I talk to myself. I never crave the company of anyone else. I look forward to time by myself. Even having family around (incl. Mum) is more than I can bear at times.

If I have to attend social interactions that I can't get out of, you'll usually find me in the back room patting the family dog or sitting out in the backyard by myself daydreaming or marvelling at patterns that are around (or in the old days, drinking myself silly).

After "socialising", I need to spend time alone to recharge myself and sometimes, I have periods of time where I just can't be around people. I don't belong here!

You read my mind.

Would I like friends? Yes. Friends are a normal facet of a 'successful' adult's life.

Would I know what to do with a friend? Would I enjoy a friend? No, almost certainly not. I have virtually zero interest in other people.

I like visiting my brother's family (for example), but after a day or so I'm exhausted and desperate to leave.

For some reason, my wife and children don't exhaust me. Perhaps I see them as an extension of myself?

I beg to differ. I don't believe you need friends to be successful or that success is based on having friends. The two are unrelated.

There have been many successful misanthropes

It's kind of a mixed bag for me, because on the one hand I get lonely easily and I like being around my close friends, yet on the other hand I can't stand being around most people, and I even find interactions with my friends to be exhausting at times. It's like I want some impossible-to-achieve balance of social interaction and solitude.

Classic introvert. I'm the same. It's like a conflict of wants and needs.

yes. my best/only friend has a lot of friends that i'm welcome to hang out with any time. sometimes what they are doing as a group sounds fun and i join, but then i want to get back home pretty soon after. i want to be part of the group and included, and i don't want to be part of the group and included.

Yes, although I have enjoyed social interaction under certain circumstances such as when partaking in a fun activity...ie go to a theme park. I just dislike sitting around making chit chat about the kind of things people talk about. I find it uninteresting.

I am like this as well but I realize now it's not that I am a classic introvert but because the people I know AREN'T WORTH being around. I just wish I could meet people who have interests outside of getting wasted on Saturday night. I desire deep interaction or none at all and guess which one I get much more of?

I prefer the company of as few people as possible. I'm not an misanthrope, though. I like to entertain people, but not to indulge in useless chatter about reality shows, etc.

I made the choice, when I was about 12, between:

1. Companionship amid talk about crap and graffiti runs.

2. Loneliness amid TV shows, Very Berry Hawaiian Punch, and the Columbia encyclopedia, while losing my best and only friend.

Guess which choice I made?

Hint: I'm an Aspie

i only want to be social with certain kinds of people.

I have this, too. I don´t have many social contacts at the moment and would like to have a person to share my interestings or to do things together. But if I meet people I often feel tired after it and cannot enjoy the meetings because although I like it it is hard for me at the same time, so I don´t know if I really want friends because I would feel tired after every meeting and feel like I need very much time alone to relax. And if I have a social contact it has to be rather a person who shares my interests than a person who wants to gossip or to talk abput topics I am nor interested in because talking about an interesting topic seems to make contacts easier for me because I have something I am sure about and know what to say what makes me more comfortable with the situation.

Yeah, pretty much. I like the idea of doing things socially more than I actually enjoy doing them. The more people are involved, the worse it is. The last times I did things with friends, I felt trapped because I had to just go along with what they were doing. I like being able to leave a place or change plans suddenly if I start feeling tired or aggravated.

And I get tired of having to pay attention to what is going on and what people are saying. It's mentally exhausting. At some point I just want to withdraw into my own mind, or physically get away by myself.

I like having a close friend or two, maybe 3 at the most, and to me the friendship is just between us. I think of it like a closed circle and I want it to be private and secure. But I find that most people approach friendship like they are just looking to expand their social circle, so they can have more and more friends. And maybe they bring other people into my circle that I don't want to be friends with. I don't like it when I get entangled with people that way. It brings too much drama in my life. It's also problematic to find a partner for the same reasons, because they usually have connections with people I don't want in my life.

I hate getting involved with people who gossip about each other, or fight or have any other kind of drama amongst themselves, which basically rules out most of the human race. Worst of all is when a group of friends have all had romantic relationships with each other, Dawson Creek style.

Social contact in general has too many strings attached, there is always something else that comes with it that I never expected.

i want enjoyable Socialization. after grade 7 people started noticing i was different and it became harder and harder to talk to people, they were developing and i wasn't and nothing of socializing became enjoyable. althought talking to Family and Friends is a bit better than meeting new people. id rather not meet new people.

With me, it's almost like I have this idealized fantasy of what socializing is supposed to be like. Problem is, reality is different. It's like I like the idea of socializing but not the act.