How Does Autism Appear To NTs

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As I am getting older, I am starting to see a pattern of ADHD with some autistic traits mixed in at times. This brings me to wonder, "what does autism really look like to a neurotypical person?" Would a person with mild autism (or autistic traits) generally seem awkward, simply very quirky or "nerdy", or maybe just seem slightly "out to lunch" (the latter has been said about me) or would NTs sometimes or often see a true social disability. I wonder, how these traits cause me to appear to others and this is why I am asking this question.

If you are lower functioning, they will probably pity you and not have high expectations REGARDLESS of what your capabilities are. If you are higher functioning, they will often insist you are CHOOSING to be that way because you can appear "normal" enough.

If you are able to make your autism into an asset for others (if you are funny, quirky in ways people like, interesting) people will generally view you as an odd, but neat person. If you are highly rational, talk a lot about special interests, and don't understand jokes, they will often view you as uptight, rude, annoying, boring, or a "buzz kill". If you have trouble communicating, stutter, can't "find your words", aren't able to verbalize what you are thinking (thinking in pictures a lot), aren't able to appear charming, they might label you as mentally challenged and/or stupid.

Note: I don't think it's an insult for one to be labeled as mentally challenged, but many people only use that label because they are intending to insult. Example: Mentally challenged=stupid person, "This computer is being a ret*d" (offensive)

How I'm labeled by various NTs and even one other autistic person: annoying, rude, buzz kill, empathetic, caring, awkward, odd, eccentric, "out there", "in your own little world", selfish, too talkative, lazy

I think most people, whether they are on the spectrum or not, have a difficult time empathizing with people that are different from themselves. If you're on the spectrum it's hard to identify with NT:s, and if you're an NT it's hard to identify with people on the spectrum. The same goes for men vs women, people from different cultures, cat/dog people, etc...

I think that most NT:s will realize that something is not "right" (consistent with the norm), but will not be able to figure out what that is, although they will try to rationalize an explanation, based on their knowledge and experience. Most of the time they completely miss the mark.

I don't think that many NT:s will actually be able to tell if someone has a development disorder, unless it's quite severe and therefore very obvious. I think rather that most will just think either that they're lazy, spoiled, or for some other reason not utilizing their full potential, this because they often have a hard time realizing that people can actually function quite differently neurologically.

Also a lot of people will interpret social difficulties as anti-social behaviour.

Of course these are only generalizations.

A lot of people see me as an obnoxious, obsessive, nerdy, control freak. It's really made my search for friends even harder.

''She's a bit weird....''

I don't care so much that my own stubborn, third-world, evolutionary-backwards ethnic origin (and others alike) thinks I'm a "fake". They're all dead men and women on a death-march led by Father Time, as far as I'm concerned.

However, it does bother me that some of the better-informed and enlightened people around me will also label me as being a "fake" (which is one of many typically over-rated racial stereotypes I deal with as a minority) instead of thinking "He's a socially-impaired moody loner, but he definitely doesn't follow the same stereotypical interests his ethnicity does". I'm not surprised a thought like that just doesn't seem to come to mind when they see a "normal-looking" brown-skinned person.

Holy crap. Do somewhat intelligent (or informed) people really think non-whites are supposed to do the same things? I mean, sometimes, I do ask "Hey, do you like/do this?" because if someone is from a different culture, I don't want to be offensive and/or I want people to know I am interested in other cultures. Is this what you are talking about? If so, what would you suggest to do differently?

Example of someone who looks Hispanic and/or has an accent: Do you speak "insert something" language?
Example of someone who looks Filipino: Do you point with your mouth?
Example of someone who looks black and has an accent: Are you from another country? If so, which country?
Example of someone who looks white and has an accent: Same question as above

Is it wrong to ask, for example, if a black person likes rap music if you live in an area where most people like rap music? What if you not only ask black people this (like, if you ask all races if they like it). Are these the kinds of questions you are saying are not good? Is it also wrong to ask if a Hispanic person likes Hispanic music if the people in your apartment complex mainly play it? Or are you talking about when people just ASSUME BECAUSE you are brown skinned that you must like the same foods, music, and other interests as your culture is stereotyped to like? Is asking the same thing as assuming, even if you ask most people the same questions?

I'm really interested in your answers so I can understand if what I'm doing what is you are saying (and wrong). I would like to fix this how I speak if this is true.

Edit: Usually, I'm not that specific. Actually, I almost always ask what kind of music a person likes, not specifying which one. It's only if they live in my apartment complex that I tend to be specific because EVERYONE listens to specific kinds of music here, it seems. Also, which the Filipino thing, it looks like someone is trying to blow you a kiss and the older Filipinos actually like it when I also point with my mouth, so I ask that. I grew up in a small town in PA, so I'm not used to different kinds of accents or ways of doing things. This is why I ask questions.

This.



Some people recognize that I have AS and are "okay" with that--therefore, they accept me. (Any who recognized it and didn't accept me probably just wouldn't have anything to do with me at all.) There are some others, who I've even mentioned it to, and they say "Oh, no you don't"--implying, or downright saying, that I'm just "making excuses." One person had the nerve to say "You have none of the symptoms" when she really had no firsthand knowledge of what the "symptoms" are (meaning: never read about it, never knew anyone diagnosed with it, etc.).

If they know nothing about it, fine--all I ask is that people educate themselves before opening their mouths.

I wish I could give a solid "no" as an answer to your first question, but unfortunately some people (by the way, I never implied the informed group of people were neccessarily white, or any another race) I've been around seemed to have instantly labeled me as following my own culture solely-based on what they see from my skin color (I get that negative look that says "Oh, it's one of those people", without a second thought). This hasn't always been true though (as I implied in my previous post. I'm sorry if I wasn't completely clear). Sometimes I'm asked questions about the culture I was raised in, but because of consistently very negative experiences growing-up under ignorance and forced-will (which I also implied) I say almost nothing about it. Your second question seems completely normal, as long as the question isn't based on an assumption of cultural stereotypes. Some people tend to be more sensitive to these questions than others. The more common ones I've noticed are those of us who are born into the Western culture, but have immigrant parents who are set in their old ways and decide they want to raise their kids the old way (effectively setting-off a culture clash and issues involving stereotypes that we have to deal with, simply because we inherited mom and dad's skin color).

That's just my take on the situation (at least mine anyways). I hope this helps.

Sorry, I wrongfully assumed "white" because I was thinking in terms of myself (I am white).

Yes, you did help a bit. I think I understand now. I try to be careful of how I word things, and so far, I don't think I offend people that much. I really don't make too many assumptions based on a person's skin color, so I think I'm good. I guess people also know my intent behind asking certain questions (general curiosity and not because I assume).

Thank you.

people;NTs and non NTs see all colours of autism in a bunch of stereotypes and generalizations often based on by putting themselves in the position of the person being judged.
as someone with LFA have had and seen many,many,many ignorant comments off aspies and NTs,
no one is invincible to being ignorant,we all are.

I offend others all of the time it seems. I don't mean to and I am too socially inept to even realize it

I think a lot of it depends on whether they know you are autistic or not. And if they do, it depends on what "autism" means to them. People tend to get hung up on labels, and most people don't know much about autism to begin with. So they will just see whatever preconceived ideas they have about it.

If they don't know you have autism, or autistic traits, and your traits are mild, they are unlikely to think you have any kind of social disability. How they see you will depend on how they feel being around you. If a person mostly feels good around you they will probably just think you are a bit weird or quirky. But if they feel bad or uncomfortable being around you they will probably assume you are doing it to them on purpose and you could change if it you wanted to. Most people don't think of it in terms of someone having a disability, they just think about how it affects them.

How other people see you has a lot more to do with who they are, than who you are.

in the army I was variously seen as/called to my face:

*doorknob
*dweeb
*dork
*nerd
*ret*d
*doofus
*@$$hole
*lightweight
*$#!+head
*dumbass
*dickwad
*dip$#!+

etc. only one GI I met was sharp enough to say to me, "you know, it is my considered opinion that you are autistic." this was circa 1985. this person was an army social worker. he told me that if it ever came out that the army enlisted an autistic person and that some GI was injured or killed due to that autistic person's failure, that it would cost uncle sam a lot of money. that made me feel good.

I feel like some people get the impression such phrases as You're a few cigarettes short of a pack or more commonly you're a few cards short of a deck would be fitting descriptions....once me and my brother came up with all the possible ways to word it which we couldn't stop laughing about. So yes people do sort of seem to pick on something different about me, though I also have diagnoses besides autism which contribute to this. Some people look down on me for it and think they are better because they don't have mental disorders and some people are understanding and are fine with that.

Very well-said. Maybe "self-centeredness" is the "norm"?

@auntblabby? "doorknob"? That's an...odd thing to call someone.