I only feel normal when I am drinking

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The only time I ever am not depressed and actually feel like a normal individual is when I am drinking. Do any other autistic people feel this way?


I was talking to my therapist the other day and she said she thinks maybe I am not autistic. Maybe I just have some sort of weird anxiety disorder and that is why when I drink I feel normal. Maybe I'm just drunk.

You only feel normal when you drink because you are addicted to alcohol. You will have to stop drinking to see what else is wrong with you. I would suggest going to rehab where they can safely carry you through detox and help you find a safer alternative than alcohol to deal with your emotional problems.

I found that anxiety is at the root of a lot of my addictive behaviors. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder recently and put on anti-anxiety medication. It made a huge difference. I have always been very neurotic and anxious, so I thought it was normal. I have also always been addicted to something (even as far back as 3 years old).

Alcohol for me thought is all about treating depression. I crave alcohol constantly when I get severely depressed and without being on anti-depressants, I have a feeling I would be fighting cravings for alcohol regularly. I didn't mean to get addicted to alcohol or to use it to treat my depression, but I found out it worked when I got put on probation and had to stop smoking weed. Now alcohol it my go-to drug.

I don't know how much you can relate to my story, but not feeling normal unless you are drinking is a classic symptom of alcoholism. Nobody feels that way unless they are an alcoholic. Is the drinking causing you problems or is it working for you to fix your anxiety? If it is causing problems, take my advice. Have your therapist help you find a good rehab, try getting sober and staying sober for a while, and then try some other means of dealing with your anxiety.

My anti-anxiety medication has way fewer side effects than the stuff I was using to treat my anxiety before (marijuana, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, fattening food, compulsive spending, etc.). I'm sure you'll have similar results if you get sober.

I have experienced that for about 5 years, and actually have decided its not a good way to cope and has been doing more harm than good my brother got it through my stubborn skull I needed to rethink my drinking.

You could have autism and an anxiety disorder....but it wouldn't be a very weird anxiety disorder. Alcohol is a CNS depressant which means it essentially slows you down hence why it impairs functioning and can cause stumbling and slurring of words...anxiety sort of causes panic reactions in the body so alcohol can diminish some of the physical feelings of anxiety via slowing down your central nervous system..it also impairs the frontal lobe which is the part of your brain you do most of your thinking with also can have a euphoric effect hence why you feel less depressed.

Also though in the long run not so sure drinking really 'helps' I've actually been having alcohol issues since I was like 19 I am not sure I've been entirely addicted or just drinking too much to cope...i don't get withdrawls when I go without drinking as far as I know. But yeah so I am actually going to stop drinking to self medicate which might be rather difficult and only enjoy a beer or two on occasion if I can handle that because I do like the taste of some of the intresting microbrewery beers.

I do find cannabis to help my symptoms and makes me feel more mellow which does help in social situations....and without making me act like a dumb ass, and doesn't put me in danger of dying from alcohol related illnesses or getting wasted and into potentially dangerous situations I mean a drunk girl at the bar alone is probably somewhat easy prey for those who would prey on people. In some states its possible to get medicinal cannabis for anxiety and depression but its much harder to get it for that reason than like chronic pain or two states including mine have it legal for adults over 21 regardless. Also there are prescription meds but those don't always help people I am prescribed valium for anxiety which helps but it makes me kind of tired so in some situations its not the most ideal thing. Have tried anti-depressants for depression but haven't had any luck with those and there are some natural remedies that can sometimes help. So from experience I'd say its best to maybe consider some other ways to feel better that might be safer...I mean at first yeah I thought I had it under control, thought it was fine to self medicate with it so long as I knew my limits, well eventually you need more alcohol to get there so end up drinking way to much more often than one should and seems to escalate from there. So do be careful about that....

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 08 May 2014, 12:01 am, edited 3 times in total.

I can sort of relate in the past, not so much with alcohol, but rather marijuana and/or prescription dexedrine. I'd be anxious, nervous, uncomfortable etc without one, the other, or both for quite some time.

But now that I've deal with the root physical/chemical cause of the anxiety and depression etc I no longer need either to feel normal and ok. I haven't taken dexedrine for probably the better part of a year now. I've had about 4 alcoholic drinks in the last year. I still smoke a bit of weed, but not as much and I don't feel the need/want to just to curb anxiety enough to get through a normal day.

But yeah, when you're anxious/depressed in a sober state of mind, drugs, whether recreational or pharmaceutical, tend to make us feel better. Your drug of choice just happens to be alcohol.

Ideally you deal with whatever's making you feel unwell in the first place and then you don't have to rely on drugs for an escape from it.

In a bar, if I simply have a beer in my hand, people generally are fine with me. I think they dismiss my autistic characteristics as intoxication, which they apparently find acceptable. Maybe I should wear beer as my cologne.

When you wake up in the morning, the person will soon realise your differences aren't down to intoxication..

You need to seek professional help before it becomes an addiction, depending on it for self acceptance is the road to alcoholism...

You have to come to terms that you are different instead of hiding who you are. You can't change the otherness, sooner or later, people will see the cracks in your mask.

I do not feel normal when I am drinking, or when I'm not drinking. However, drinking can be a bit of a change, which might be good, and I find having a drink in hand is a bit of a 'crutch' in social situations, mostly because it gives me something to do with my hands etc.

What do you think? Did you speak to your therapist about drinking specifically?

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink a few times a week but when I do I just feel euphoric and have no anxiety. I feel like I can actually get stuff done. I have talked to my therapist about alcohol and she does not seemed to concerned. I wish I could get prescribed a legit anti anxiety med to see if it works instead of the alcohol but no doctor will give me one.

Likely because most anti-anxiety meds are even more addictive than alcohol.

I seem to do ok with valium...and do not find it addictive, but its as needed for anxiety so I only take it if I am having debilitating anxiety symptoms. I also was prescribed klonopin and that did end up being problematic and both are in the same class yet they can effect people differently, and it depends on the individual. I see why doctors sometimes hesitate to prescribe them, however sometimes that is the best option...it should be monitered though like someone prescribed an benzo anxiety med should be informed of the risk of becoming addicted and signs to look out for so if there ends up being an issue they can be prescribed something else.

When I worked as a consultant on very high-pressure projects, I had a rule: If I drank a beer and I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders, I quit drinking until the project was over. It's always best to preserve and build your autonomous coping skills, as opposed to using something external. Sometimes, that isn't an option, due to special issues, but chemical or pharmaceutical coping should be the last choice.

Try Passion flower tea, 2-3 grams works well, buy an infuser kettle and the herbs.

A very useful book about all substances, how they affect us, and how to manage them:

How to Quit When you feel like s**t, by Patrick Holdford. Non-judgmental, research based advice on supplementation to address physiological issues which underlie the need for substances to modify our function.

Especially terrific advice on managing withdrawal from everything - nicotine, caffeine, hard drugs, alcohol.

You have to ask for a non-addictive one or they will put you on benzo's (like Valium or Xanax). I asked for a non-addictive one.

You posted this on the love & dating forum, so I will assume you mean the only time you find it easy and normal to talk to people is when you are drinking.
There is no harm in that. But after so many years of regular drinking you may find it hard to stop.

Just because you feel normal doesn't mean that is a healthy mental state!