Question regarding Aspie guys: advice needed.

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08 May 2014, 4:14 pm

Question: How do aspie males act and talk if he has a crush on someone? A friend was randomly asked by an aspie guy, during a conversation about dating, if she woukd prefer a guy, who liked her to directly ask her out or to ask her to to volunteer with him. Then, when they were at a bookstore, during a group outing, he kept pointing books relating to cats, that were near them. ( she likes cats)

kraftiekortie
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08 May 2014, 5:12 pm

I think the guy is trying to point out a commonality between he and her.

I'm not a typical Aspie, I don't believe. When I was younger, I was so bashful.

I would try to strike up a conversation with a woman whom I'm attracted to.(I'm 53 years old, I shouldn't say girl LOL). During that conversation, I would seek commonality. I would compliment her on some aspect of her looks, or of her mind. If I'm really attracted to her, I would try to kiss her hand while making the compliment (I suppose that's pretty forward! LOL). I might even ask her out directly--but, mostly likely, I would continue the conversation until the subject of "what are you doing this weekend" comes up. Then I might mention a lecture or something which I'm going; I would make sure she's interested in that subject. If she's interested, I would propose that we go to that lecture together, then eat something later.

Really, I would "take it by ear." I would want to sense interest on her part. If I don't sense interest, I wouldn't ask her out unless I'm REALLY attracted to her.

DeeLerious184
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08 May 2014, 5:49 pm

He has complimented her on her ideas about a meetup he runs and she is a member of.

kraftiekortie
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08 May 2014, 7:36 pm

How did she respond?

DeeLerious184
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08 May 2014, 7:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

How did she respond?

Positively, by picking up two books.

Buddy
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08 May 2014, 8:40 pm

I would ask her out to go for a coffee, and take it from there. :roll:

goldfish21
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08 May 2014, 9:17 pm

There is no generic Aspie guy answer to this. Every guy is going to be different. Some might be anxious, nervous, shy etc, others might just ask her point blank for a date.

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DeeLerious184
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08 May 2014, 9:36 pm

goldfish21 wrote:

There is no generic Aspie guy answer to this. Every guy is going to be different. Some might be anxious, nervous, shy etc, others might just ask her point blank for a date.

I was not expecting a generic pattern but tendencies.

goldfish21
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08 May 2014, 9:52 pm

DeeLerious184 wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

There is no generic Aspie guy answer to this. Every guy is going to be different. Some might be anxious, nervous, shy etc, others might just ask her point blank for a date.

I was not expecting a generic pattern but tendencies.

They tend to vary widely.

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Vomelche
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09 May 2014, 9:31 am

I would be awkwardly attentive. Since he's being helpful, it could be a sign that he is interested. Other more obvious clues to look for would probably be selective eye contact and body language, but it wouldn't looks the same as that of an NT, more awkward, systematic and direct.

DeeLerious184
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09 May 2014, 10:59 am

Vomelche wrote:

I see.

Suhtek
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09 May 2014, 11:48 am

Whenever I like a girl I mention cat books to her.

Rigor
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09 May 2014, 2:53 pm

DeeLerious184 wrote:

How old is your friend/the aspie? That sounds like something I might try 5-6 years ago or something.

Nowadays when I have a crush I go out of my way to not make eye contact with or talk to them unless they do so with me first.

DeeLerious184
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09 May 2014, 3:01 pm

late 20s.

DeeLerious184
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09 May 2014, 3:01 pm

Rigor wrote:

DeeLerious184 wrote:

I usually do the same thing.

DeeLerious184
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