Predicament, advice please
Hello all,
I've been engaged in an issue over the past few days, but I'll start from the top,
I am a bisexual teen and I had only just moved into PC gaming a few months ago and a friend, let's call him "W", introduced me to a video game, Team Fortress 2, after a month, W had gotten more involved in the whole active community and he and my other friend who I'll call "X", got talking to people in the forums, markets, and voice chat in-game for a while while I wasn't around.
After that while W and X introduced me to an American teenager called "Z" (for the record, that's his initial, but that isn't important). Now, Z and I got talking on Skype for a bit, and after a while we were good friends. I eventually told him I was bisexual, and it was fine for a while, he has ADD and depression, I have Asperger's and infrequent depression, and I've been in similar, sh*tty places he's been in (regarding suicide, puberty etc.), though his tendencies are much more violent and suicidal than mine. I helped Z through some harsh times, and have been trying to help him look up in life. One of those times was when he broke up from his girlfriend and he eventually told me he was bi too.
We talked a lot that night and then he told me he wanted to go out with me, enamored by his decency and kindness I obliged, and now we're together-online.
My question is, how is the relationship going to work?
And is it wrong that I'm effectively dating someone 2 years younger than me?
He is only 13, I'm 15.
I live in the UK he lives in Massachusetts in the US.
I'd like to see what you all have to say.
Thank's for reading
My question is, how is the relationship going to work?
And is it wrong that I'm effectively dating someone 2 years younger than me?
He is only 13, I'm 15.
I live in the UK he lives in Massachusetts in the US.
I'd like to see what you all have to say.
Thank's for reading :D
I have bad news.
Relationship wont work (imo) because you're both minors and -I assume- still live with your parents and therefore cannot move to either city to be together. Meaning basically, there'll be no relationship.
Long distance relationships fail almost always.
In much of the USA statutory rape between minors is usually 3 years (or greater) age difference. Unless one is over 18, then it's anyone under 18.
Otherwise a couple years (or equivalent age ratio) makes no inherent issue in relationships
I'm sorry.
Otherwise it sounds like you guys got something pretty nice as it is.
_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus
While I also don't believe a long-distance relationship between two young teens is going to wind up being the one they stay in, I wouldn't say that there is "no relationship" since it's clear you two are experiencing something together. I do think it's helpful to keep things in context, though, as a relationship that isn't able to be physical right now and will have to last longer than many do to become an in-person one.
You're 13 and 15. It's fine to try things out and withhold judgment.
goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I don't really view online relationships as on par with real world ones, especially when it comes to couples.. as there's no physical intimacy. I do, however, acknowledge that there can be some pretty cool online friendships. I've had some over the years.
Maybe you'll meet someday, maybe you won't. I say just roll with it and enjoy each others company for what it is & what value it brings to your life. There's no harm in the whole thing.
_________________
No

I take the view that the internet has been a blessing for people on the spectrum; it has provided a wealth of opportunities for people to connect with each other in a way that mitigates the social deficits that we carry.
An internet relationship is a real relationship--just as a penpal relationship used to be. But it is not the same as a relationship that includes time in each others' company. That's not to say that it is better or worse, just different.
Age does not strike me as a significant issue here. The two year gap may seem large; but it's significance will diminish with time. The much greater issue is the gap in distance. For practical purposes, that distance may be impossible to bridge.
So my view (I won't presume to call it advice) is that you should enjoy the relationship for what it is--an internet friendship which might--or might not--develop into something else. Enjoy it for what it is; not what you think that it might be.
_________________
--James
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