Any other aspies in their early 20s?
Hi I'm 22 years old, male with Asperger's. I dropped out of uni/college about a year ago and moved back in with my parents. I now work part-time in a supermarket. I am depressed and have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.
If you're also an aspie in your early 20s I'd be really grateful to hear how things are going for you.
Hiya,
I'm undiagnosed but I think I may be Autistic.
I'm 28. In my first year of University and I really do know how you feel. Prior to University I was almost homeless 3 times because I could not cope and felt too depressed.
Now, I still do not know what to do but I figure that it is the fear that takes over. There is some sort of accepted belief that we have to know what we are doing in life. A friend of mine recently put a Facebook status up saying 'is it okay to not know what you want to do?' and at least 30 out of the 40 or so people who replied to her said they had no idea what they were doing but just going with the tide.
Easier said than done, but I think..it's about combatting fear too. This is my 3rd try at University after quitting twice before. I try to keep going. It is exceptionally hard at times, but keep going. Try to connect to what you feel you enjoy and address some fears that might be overwhelming you. It might help?
mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
I'm 20 years old, I was diagnosed with Aspergers/HFA back when I was 6, and honestly, I can't believe I'm already this old. I'm working a crappy minimum wage job part-time at a grocery store, I live in a friend's family's basement, and I dropped out of high school shortly after I turned 19, during my failed second attempt at finishing Grade 12.
My parents divorced when I was 15 after fighting for a few years, and this really made a huge impact on my life. The worst part is when they both started going out with people I couldn't stand. To this day, I still don't get along well with my mother's fiance, or my father's wife and her family.
Right now, I want to find a better job where I have higher pay and more stable hours, and I eventually want to go to college so that I can get my high school education over with, and take some courses related to business and computer repair.
I struggle with anxiety, depression, and undiagnosed co-morbid OCD. My Aspergers traits have grown more severe over the last couple years, and I'm definitely not as functional as I was back when I was 17/18 years old, with the exception of the fact that I'm currently employed.
I also dropped out of uni - I think I have a huge capacity for learning and a lot of potential academically but the style of learning promoted at those places just doesn't work for me. To do well I would need to have a great memory and just repeat what I have been told on cue, my memory is terrible and I only develop a well rounded understanding of something when I put it into my own terms which I often do not have time for or the information to manage doing in that environment.
I'm 23 at the moment and I have worked quite a few dead end jobs, excelling in them but not fitting in socially, always ending poorly.
I moved out for a year or two to rent a place on the beach with some friends, but was unable to manage it longterm and am now back living with my parents. I am struggling knowing my potential and achieving none of it... I feel I have no direction in life. Other people seem to be motivated by passion for a specific area of interest or by monetary gain. I do want money to survive off and I do have areas of passionate interest, but none of those translate well to a career or if they do other things prevent me from getting there (I think I would do very well in a career related to chemistry for example but would do terribly studying chemistry in university).
I have few friends, they are all quite distant (metaphorically) and don't understand me, but think they do (they seem to think I'm a genius of theory and an idiot in all things practical and social, which although it is on kind of the right track... they do things like discussing me while I am in the room but using indirect terms, thinking I do not understand that they are doing it. They are also forever telling me to smile etc.).
I spend most of my time on the internet chatting to people (usually people with Aspie traits) and researching my most recent semi-obsessive interest.
I remind myself of the cartoon Invader Zim actually - I feel I am well equipped to conquer the world but as an alien I lack the understanding of the way certain things work as well as having certain quirks which in the end are my undoing, leaving me a relative failure.
I have also been struggling with depression, depersonalisation/derealisation and a myraid of other such things, but I seem to be able to manage them somewhat now... I still cannot really manage my Asperger's in the same way though and don't really know where to start. I am trying to think of a way to use it as a major asset career-wise but I am at a loss.
I'm 24 and also dropped out of college 4 years ago due largely to social anxiety and not fitting in.
I had moved to another city for college and ended up staying there for 5 years with my then girlfriend. After I dropped out I got a job as Sales at a plumbing store and made good money there ($17/hour at the end). I worked there for 3 years and then moved back home with my parents after my girlfriend and I broke up. Plus I needed to pay off some debits (which isn't going well I might add.)
I got a job at another plumbing store in my hometown (as it's what I know). And am currently working there now. I'm great at "acting" as a salesman but I'm terrible with workplace social.
The other day my old boss called me and asked if I wanted to run my own store in a new city. I think I'm going to say yes, even though it's not what I want to do forever. But he's promised me $20/hour or more plus sales bonuses monthly. The best part is I'll be the boss and won't have to extensively socialize with co-workers! I can go off and have quiet time when I need to and let my employees talk to customers when I get overwhelmed.
I can tell you life has certainly not been what I thought it would be at this age. Looking at friends of mine and people on Facebook I feel I'm not living my life how I should be at this age. But I'm different, and I like doing my own thing.
_________________
"If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us."
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,043
Location: Adelaide, Australia
I'm past my early 20s and yet I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Every time I come up with a plan I change my mind before I have time to enact it. I've been in awful job for four years, I recently got into an employment agency that said they could get me another job. Still working class but better paying. I thought that was a good plan but then I thought maybe instead I should go to uni and eventually join the middle class. Not the first time I've had this idea and probably not the last. I just keep on feeling like I'm not good enough. The job I've got now, not good enough, the job the employment agency wants to set me up with, better but still not good enough. Maybe if I can bootstrap myself into the middle class than I'll meet my own exaggerated standards of how I think normal people are supposed to live.
Also I'd be able to afford rent by myself instead of sharing. Last time I moved it with an idiot and he kicked me out after we got into a stupid argument. Back at Mum's house again. It's a nice house. Only problem is Mum lives there. I tried to convince her to move out but she wouldn't. Not that she's mean or anything but having her around makes me feel immature.
So maybe I could ascend to the dizzying heights of the middle classes but I'm not sure. Last time I dropped out of community college due to burn out. Full time study exceeded what my anemic work ethic would tolerate and to this day I can't understand how people can study full time and work part time... at the same time. I think if he did that I'd either go insane or have an brain aneurysm. Anyway maybe unskilled labour ins't good enough and won't provide a sufficient ego boost to rebuild my fractured self esteem. But the reason why it's hard to decide is... I know people say it's good to have ambition and aspire to higher things but I'm not sure if that's just what the man wants me to think.
Maybe all this ambition stuff is just memetic engineering so we'll work harder to make our employers rich. I can't trust my own judgement. On the one hand, my idea of memetic engineering might just be an excuse so I don't go to uni but on the other hand maybe it's irrational for me to worry about what people think of me so I don't need to care if they think less of me because I don't have a degree. Whenever I think of an idea I have no way of knowing whether or not I'm biased. I'm not good at making decicions and I often want for contrary things. I hate conformity and yet I want to conform
Yep, 24.
I completed University but it didn't really help, due to the place I live, mainly. I was unemployed for two solid years, after I got fired from my first job out of Uni, basically because the open-plan office overwhelmed and bewildered me.
I have another job now, part time in a pharmacy. It's incredibly difficult, but I think I'm just about clinging onto it.
I don't care about earning lots of money or "fulfilling my potential". I would like to one day be able to hold down a job with a steady pay cheque - right now I'm paid by the hour and have an unstable number of hours, so getting my own place is out of the question. I live with my dad, it's okay I guess. I just wish I could be independent and live like a bloody adult, but most of my "normal" friends the same age live with their parents still too, so whatever lol.
Thanks for all the replies, I really wasn't expecting to get so many. I have read all of your posts and appreciate the effort you've made to share your stories.
How many more credits do you have? What did you major in?
You still have a chance to complete college.
Giving up will not help you to integrate into the NT world, as your name implies.
I don't mind at all, kraftiekortie. The course I was on was not the right one for me and I will only return to college if I find one that is.
Doesn't everyone want to integrate into the NT world? After all, the NT world is the world we live in whether we like it or not.
If you're also an aspie in your early 20s I'd be really grateful to hear how things are going for you.
Dont worry. I failed multiple times before being where I am now. I underachieved grossly in my A levels I dropped out of my first year of uni and I didn't attend any lectures when I tried again at my current uni!
Im now doing really well. It took my years to mature and to realise what I wanted. You have time. Dont make the mistake I made and rush into course after course. Think deeply about what it is you want to do with your future and then go for it!
Dont be disheartened
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I can't even remember my age unless I get a calculator and even then it'll take me a while to figure it out but I'm here somewhere. I'm undiagnosed at the moment so I may not be what you're looking for. I never went to university I knew I'd fail if I tried I struggled enough with high school so I went into the workforce. I got a very poor part time job that paid minimum wage and which was horrendous to deal with. Eventually I was able to upgrade to my current job which after several years I am doing much better in. My entire job is endless repetition so aside from the social aspect it's alright I deal well with repetition. I live on my own and have my own condo so technically I'm independent. Of course I don't have much choice the alternative is death after all I do not have a fallback as many others do. I also have persistent depressive disorder, traits of social anxiety and suicidal ideation.
What job are you hoping to get?
Although I'm qualified for, and would like a job in editing, camera operations or writing (my number 1 choice), I would most likely start as a production assistant (does odd jobs and assists the director) as its seen as a really good entry level position.
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